Ok....so 95% of the time I get along great with FMIL, she's actually an extremely sweet woman but sometimes she says things and just doesn't realize they can be a little offensive.
Here's the situation (sorry so long!!!):
her Christmas gift to me was a Lenox 'first dance' cake topper.....it's actually really beautiful and I didn't even say anything when I opened it that I had already bought my own cake topper (a Kim Anderson wedding one- I bought it a few years ago before I was even engaged, just b/c I love Kim Anderson).....I just smiled and said thank you, thinking she didn't know I already had one. Fast forward to when we're leaving and saying goodbye and she said 'oh I hope you like the cake topper, I think it's so much more elegant than that black & white one you already have'!!!!!! Apparently she actually checked w/ FH if I had one, which he knew I did, but she didn't like it so felt the need to get me a different one!!!!
Part of me wants to say something like, can you please let me pick my own things for my wedding, but part of me doesn't want to say anything and just not even use it, regardless of whether I like it more or not......just out of spite!!! lol I might have even considered using it, but the comment that the Lenox one is more elegant was really unnecessary, I feel like she questions my taste all the time!! And here's another thing, I showed her a picture of the Pfaltzgraf china I registered for, and she actually said, 'don't worry, your taste will change'......I guess that was her way of saying she didn't like it??? After 6 years of dating, I was hoping I could share these things with her, but once you get engaged I feel like its a whole new ballgame and you get all kinds of unnecessary negative feedback.
K, I feel much better now......just had to vent!!!
dancerandchef
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
We have received a couple of cake toppers. We are going to end up putting one of the cake toppers next to the cake because we are having falling leafs on the cake. The baker said that it would ruin the effect of the falling leafs which is totally understandable. So, he said we could have the cake topper next to the cake. Yes, we have the lenox first dance cake topper.
I think you should put the Kim Anderson Wedding Couple on top of your wedding cake. It is your wedding. Plus the lenox first dance cake topper is heavier. This your and your husbands day. I wish you best wishes.
dancer
MF9282
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
OMG so rude!!!! It may be the same one I have!! FMIL bought it for my bday and I thoguht it was pretty but it is huge!! I feel like its gonna weigh the cake down!!! Or just topple over!! FMIL for Xmas got us our toasting fluts, beautiful but I have yet to register and their was another one I wanted and she bought w/o asking me, so sweet but so pushy!! I sware MIL's have their own way of being pushy!! Aww well u knwo what u use what u want!! Its ur wedding NOT hers!!
mycrayon1
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Posted by kismet8601
Thats tough...but Im curious too. Which one are you going to use? You should use yours and put hers on your place card table
Thats not a bad idea! I say go with with the one you have already chosen. It's your wedding!
SuzArtie69
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Posted by kismet8601
Thats tough...but Im curious too. Which one are you going to use? You should use yours and put hers on your place card table
I agree. See if it will go with the colors that you've chosen too. I'm not a huge fan of Lenox, so I would pick yours.
Although I do love my champagne glasses (lenox) that were given to me as an engagement gift. Thanks Kat!!!!
SuzArtie69
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
I can see your point in this. My MIL says the darndest things sometimes. I just want to sock her one. That's his Mom though, so I know how to handle her now.
Sometimes you have to take things with a grain of salt. She'll get over not seeing her cake topper on your cake. Have it on the same table, or maybe on your table. It would look great on the place card table too.
She has to remember its what you both like, not what she likes. Everyone's taste is different and that's what makes you unique.
Good Luck
SuzArtie69
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Posted by HelenZ
Posted by kismet8601
yes the Lenox one is beautiful but in all honesty I like the one you bought better. Its cute and very unique.
thanks!!! I think I needed some reassurance after she bought me the Lenox one!
you know what I was just thinking......I want to have a small table with a picture of my dad and maybe our grandparents since they've all passed away.....maybe I could display the Lenox figurine on that table? I think it might be nice too since I won't be dancing w/ my dad, even though it's a bride/groom figurine, it could represent the father/daughter dance too.
This is a great idea!!!! Now that piece will mean much more to you. If she still gets in a tizzy about it then explain to her why you placed it there. That will convince her.
MF9282
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
I have that same Lenox one its beuatiful but cmon now can it be any bigger?!
kitty1224
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Helen, use the one you want. The one you picked out has special meaning to you, do not feel like you have to use hers.
babygirl71777
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
we all have FMIL problems hu?! use what you brought! dont let her take away from ur planning!!!
SuzArtie69
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Girl you need to pick up Modern Bride Feb/March 2007.
I saw this caption and thought of you.
'My future MIL thinks she's planning her wedding!! I love her, but I need to let her know that she's overstepping her boundaries. How should I say it?'
There's a few responses on pg 66. Hope this helps!!!
Suz
HelenZ
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Posted by SuzArtie69
Girl you need to pick up Modern Bride Feb/March 2007.
I saw this caption and thought of you.
'My future MIL thinks she's planning her wedding!! I love her, but I need to let her know that she's overstepping her boundaries. How should I say it?'
There's a few responses on pg 66. Hope this helps!!!
Suz
thanks chica!! I'll have to check that out.....maybe I can leave the article on the coffee table at FMIL's house and give her the hint!!!
Helen!! That is so freakin hillarious! I can totally picture my FMIL saying the same thing.
The only problem I have is not with what she said but what she did. I think it's sneaky. Why check with FH if you had a cake topper if she was going to buy you one reguardless? I HATE sneaky and undermining. I say use what you like the best and if it's not hers then use yours and too bad for her.
And some of these should do ya!
snydl40
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Rude comment-but hopefully she'll learn that you have your own taste and can have monkeys dancing at the wedding if you want to.
HelenZ
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Posted by snydl40
Rude comment-but hopefully she'll learn that you have your own taste and can have monkeys dancing at the wedding if you want to.
HelenZ
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Posted by JIFFY
Helen!! That is so freakin hillarious! I can totally picture my FMIL saying the same thing.
The only problem I have is not with what she said but what she did. I think it's sneaky. Why check with FH if you had a cake topper if she was going to buy you one reguardless? I HATE sneaky and undermining. I say use what you like the best and if it's not hers then use yours and too bad for her.
And some of these should do ya!
Yeah that bothered me too.....that she asked him but bought one anyway. And I purposely started our registry before Christmas in case she'd want to buy something off of it. I can never figure out what she's going to say or do next!!!
sugar4spc
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
did she just say a twinkie i definately think you should use the one you like. i agree that it is more unique. i love the one you picked out. thats just my opinion. if you let her win this battle then she thinks she will win them all. dont give in. YOu chose the kim anderson one for a reason.
shelby34
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
Posted by AllJoy
Posted by HelenZ
Posted by kismet8601
yes the Lenox one is beautiful but in all honesty I like the one you bought better. Its cute and very unique.
thanks!!! I think I needed some reassurance after she bought me the Lenox one!
you know what I was just thinking......I want to have a small table with a picture of my dad and maybe our grandparents since they've all passed away.....maybe I could display the Lenox figurine on that table? I think it might be nice too since I won't be dancing w/ my dad, even though it's a bride/groom figurine, it could represent the father/daughter dance too.
Helen, I love this idea!! I think its perfect to have it on the table w/the photos. The Kim Anderson one is adorable and you stick w/it.
I was going to suggest the same thing...great idea
ant n tilde
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Re: FMIL acting up!! lol
HelenZ
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Posted by ant n tilde
yuck - i cant believe i am reading this
she sounds like MY FMIL - my FMIL is the BEST like 95% of the time but then all of a sudden she will pull something like this
if i were you i wouldnt display hers at all - he he but i am a witch!
As for the dress shopping - I am going with my mom, aunt, sister and cousins to actually buy the dress
THEN i am taking my FMIL, his two grandmothers and his SIL when i go for my first fitting so THAT way the dress is already bought and paid for and they cant do anything about it!
GOOD LUCK!
thanks!!! that's what I was thinking too, take her to my first fitting b/c then she'd need a really big pair to say something negative after I've already paid for it!!
I'm going to Lillette's again today....it's my 3rd time!! I'm just so undecided between 3 dresses. I hope I finally decide today!!
