FMIL and Money (Long - Please help)

Original post by Syren

Jun 19, 2004 09:34 AM

FH and I had an argument over this. He wants FMIL to take home all the gifts and cards after the wedding. I had no problem in the beginning with it but now it seems like all FMIL can talk about is how much money people are giving us as a wedding gift. A few family members who aren't coming to the wedding have sent checks. She's upset because they gave X amount instead of X amount. These family members are from both sides of the family. Now FMIL wants to also take the cards and deposit any monetary gifts in our account RIGHT AFTER the wedding so the checks don't BOUNCE!!!

I suggested to FH that we just leave the our gifts in our Apartment and we'll deposit them when we get back from our HM. But he doesn't think it's safe to leave them in our apartment. And when I suggested that my sister (my maid of honor) hold onto them - he said, 'I don't trust your family. She'll lose them.' This prompted a huge argument. What do I do? This situation is making me so uncomfortable. I can totally see FMIL making some comment five years from now about how my Aunt had the nerve to only give $100. How do I handle this situation?

NMP411 Posted: Jun 19, 2004 03:34 PM

Re: FMIL and Money (Long - Please help)

I had a similar situation like yours. I definitely wouldn't let your FMIL have anything to do with yuor wedding gifts. She should not be opening anything & she has no business knowing how you & your FH make out in the end. Good luck with finding an alternative. I see your wedding is next weekend - all the best!!! (Take lots of notes for me at the Crest Hollow, that's where we're getting married).

Syren Posted: Jun 19, 2004 06:30 PM

Re: FMIL and Money (Long - Please help)

Thanks! I'll let you know how it is. What room did you book?

Posted by NMP411

I had a similar situation like yours. I definitely wouldn't let your FMIL have anything to do with yuor wedding gifts. She should not be opening anything & she has no business knowing how you & your FH make out in the end. Good luck with finding an alternative. I see your wedding is next weekend - all the best!!! (Take lots of notes for me at the Crest Hollow, that's where we're getting married).

MrsK-in-June05 Posted: Jun 19, 2004 06:54 PM

Re: FMIL and Money (Long - Please help)

First off, did you not train the FMIL yet? LOL Just kidding

I can see her holding onto actual gifts but the cards and checks that is nuts. If people give you a check and can't balance their checkbook for a week while you are on your HM than they should not have a checking account. Do you have a firesafe box or lock box? They are not expensive, I think we got ours at Staples.

Syren Posted: Jun 19, 2004 09:56 PM

Re: FMIL and Money (Long - Please help)

Posted by MrsKinMay05

First off, did you not train the FMIL yet? LOL Just kidding

I can see her holding onto actual gifts but the cards and checks that is nuts. If people give you a check and can't balance their checkbook for a week while you are on your HM than they should not have a checking account. Do you have a firesafe box or lock box? They are not expensive, I think we got ours at Staples.

Nope. Not yet - still working on her son. LOL. She's next.

FH has a lock box but he's more comfortable with my idea of leaving everything in a safe deposit. :)

allaboutthecake Posted: Jun 19, 2004 10:58 PM

Re: FMIL and Money (Long - Please help)

My FMIL made a list of everyone in her family that was coming to the engagement party and then proceeded to write down what everyone gave so she could use that as her amount to go on when they have their weddings. I totally understand what you are going through.

juju Posted: Jun 20, 2004 08:45 AM

Re: FMIL and Money (Long - Please help)

WE gave our checks to our FFIL to deposit. DH's parents are divorced. FFIL didn't know who was who. LOL So it worked out.

JenniferLee111204 Posted: Jun 20, 2004 09:36 AM

Re: FMIL and Money (Long - Please help)

OMG. I am sorry that you even had to deal with that!! I'm glad you worked it out, but your FH needs to be able to 'stick up' for you.. My FMIL is off the wall. if he didnt stick up for me, we wouldnt be getting married.

btw . i would NEVER EVER let HER hold the gifts. Im with ya all the way with the safe deposit box!! whew