FMIL has fallen off the wagon

My mom just called me and didn't want to say anything but needed to vent...

apparently FMIL has been giving my mom the hardest time with my shower. My mom called her to ask for a guest list and to talk about it and FMIL said to her 'You dont expect me to pay for this right?' Which my mom didn't, although it would have been nice. Apparently on the call they discussed inviting around 50 ppl. FMIL sent my mom a list with 30 ppl on it leaving my friends and my family limited to 20. And when my mom asked her if she can reduce the list to 25 she said she absolutely could not.

My mom has been planning the entire thing with one of my friends and my bubbie. (Still all surprises on the dets). I feel horrible that my mom has to deal with FIL drama. They have been so difficult lately you have no idea.

What is with these women???!!!

They are such green eyes monsters, that they derive pleasure from trying to irk us, and cause trouble.

It boils down to one thing: JEALOUSY.
The attention is NOT on them, and they can't stand that!

If it makes you feel any better, mine 'slipped' and basically told me when my shower is. Well, the month.
I know she did it purposely too. because she thinks she is slick. I won't tell my mom or sis until AFTER the shower, because they will rip her a new one.

wow thats so rude. if she wont cut the guest list down then she should at least pay for the additional people.

I feel your pain - more than you know. My shower was a week and a half ago and my mother graciously threw it. FMIL wanted nothing to do with it, and didn't even offer (nor want) to help. I felt so bad for my mother as my BMs are spread throughout the country and only two could make it, and they helped as much as they could. My mother was really hoping that FMIL would have helped (not monitarily - because my mom wasnt expecting that) - or at least have an interest in it, but she didn't. And, she gave my cousin (who was handling the rsvps) a hard time because my cousin never called my FMIL to advise who was and was not coming on her list. I thought that was kinda odd - if these people were her friends or family, wouldnt she kinda know if they were coming or not? It was just kind of hurtful, and FH is pissed beyond words about it because she doesnt show an interest in our wedding at all (there is a lot of other stuff going on here too that I wont get in to)...

Good luck, and hang in there. Weddings are stressful on families (something I am learning more and more every day).





edited to say my mother threw the shower

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Posted by Mrs Z To Be

What is with these women???!!!

They are such green eyes monsters, that they derive pleasure from trying to irk us, and cause trouble.

It boils down to one thing: JEALOUSY.
The attention is NOT on them, and they can't stand that!

If it makes you feel any better, mine 'slipped' and basically told me when my shower is. Well, the month.
I know she did it purposely too. because she thinks she is slick. I won't tell my mom or sis until AFTER the shower, because they will rip her a new one.

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Jealousy...ha - yeah...my Mom actually just said that last night - and the reason why my ever so wonderful FMIL is being the way she is is that for once she isn't the center of attention

I just dont understand why it has to be this way? I never in a million years ever thought I would have a relationship like this with my FMIL.

i'm having similar problems with my fmil and the shower. part of her 'issues' i think stem from the fact her first born is leaving the nest and she's not going to be the one to take care of him.

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Posted by MayBride2010

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Posted by Mrs Z To Be

What is with these women???!!!

They are such green eyes monsters, that they derive pleasure from trying to irk us, and cause trouble.

It boils down to one thing: JEALOUSY.
The attention is NOT on them, and they can't stand that!

If it makes you feel any better, mine 'slipped' and basically told me when my shower is. Well, the month.
I know she did it purposely too. because she thinks she is slick. I won't tell my mom or sis until AFTER the shower, because they will rip her a new one.

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ETA: SOrry Rachel, for hijacking your thread!!! Keep your head up...it's YOUR day. Enjoy it no matter what. Screw her!
Jealousy...ha - yeah...my Mom actually just said that last night - and the reason why my ever so wonderful FMIL is being the way she is is that for once she isn't the center of attention

I just dont understand why it has to be this way? I never in a million years ever thought I would have a relationship like this with my FMIL.

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I feel/feflt the same way, but as time has gone by, I have realized that she is who she is , (vile), and she will NEVER change. I jsut minimize my time with her. Thankfully, FH does not have a great realtionship with her, and knows she is a huge issue. I won't let her get to me anymore. That is what she wants. FM me amytime!! I could tell you stories that would make your head spin!!

i think giving her 25 people is still a lot ... i'd give her 15 people and she can pay for anyone additional on her own.

or tell her that you'll just have two showers ... your mom will throw one for your friends and family ... and his mom will throw one with her 30 people (and she can pay).

i'd be PISSED OFF ... in fact, i am pissed off at your FMIL ...

grrr!!!

I'm so sorry your mom has to deal with this. My FMIL created issues also with my bridal shower except my mom didn't have to deal with it or my MOH's who are planning it; I had to listen to all the crap.

I hope you FMIL realizes that she cannot expect to invite 30 people when she's not paying for anything.

so FMIL thinks she can invite half the people and then the other half has to be split between your mom and your friends.... I DON'T THINK SO!

I think your mom should give her a number and tell her she needs to stick with that or pay for any additional people if she can't.

so sorry you are dealing with this

My mom is just trying to keep the peace so it isnt difficult for me after we get married. She actually felt horrible even venting to me about it but it just came up. I want to say something to FH but I do not know how to bring it up without telling him that his mom is being rude to my mother.

I know it is wrong, but I am trying to sneakily retaliate by adding additional items to the brunch that his parents are throwing the day after the wedding. (Only b/c FH told them that they had to - my parents are throwing the wedding and hosted our e-party also).

awww. i second the other ladies:

WHAT IS UP WITH THIS WOMEN?!?!

That's awful, at least it's only 5 extra ppl...maybe some of them won't show up anyway and it will work out in your moms favor......

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Posted by RAK220

My mom is just trying to keep the peace so it isnt difficult for me after we get married. She actually felt horrible even venting to me about it but it just came up. I want to say something to FH but I do not know how to bring it up without telling him that his mom is being rude to my mother.

I know it is wrong, but I am trying to sneakily retaliate by adding additional items to the brunch that his parents are throwing the day after the wedding. (Only b/c FH told them that they had to - my parents are throwing the wedding and hosted our e-party also).

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lol..honeslty you need to say something to FH so he don't go thinking she's oh so innocent.