FMIL woes....

My FMIL continually offers to pay for things, and then never follows through! So far she has offered to pay for our honeymoon, limos, videographer at the wedding, her extra guests at our reception, and part of the closing costs on our home (when we finally get one).

Besides a relatively small engagement gift (in comparison to all she has offered) which will cover about the price of the limos, she hasn't given us anything to date. I have booked things (such as the videographer) on the premise that she offered to pay / contribute to the cost.

It is FINE if she doesn't want to pay for anything, but IMO, DON'T OFFER THEN!

Sorry for the vent girls... had to get that off my chest!!!!!!

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Posted by NYPDsGirl

My FMIL continually offers to pay for things, and then never follows through! So far she has offered to pay for our honeymoon, limos, videographer at the wedding, her extra guests at our reception, and part of the closing costs on our home (when we finally get one).

Besides a SMALL engagement gift (that will cover about the price of the limos), she hasn't given us anything to date. I have booked things (such as the videographer) on the premise that she offered to pay / contribute to the cost.

It is FINE if she doesn't want to pay for anything, but IMO, DON'T OFFER THEN!

Sorry for the vent girls... had to get that off my chest!!!!!!

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You're absolutely right!! If she's not in a position to pay for those things, or doesn't WANT to pay for them, then she should not have offered in the first place!!
AND she has offered to pay for a whole heck of alot!!! Have you tried talking to her about this? maybe she thinks you'll ask for the $$ when you've booked everything???
IMO, her SMALL eng. gift, isn't really small, if it's enough to just about cover the price of limos.

But, if your wedding is really in 2011, then don't you think there's time!!??

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Posted by MrsERod

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Posted by NYPDsGirl

My FMIL continually offers to pay for things, and then never follows through! So far she has offered to pay for our honeymoon, limos, videographer at the wedding, her extra guests at our reception, and part of the closing costs on our home (when we finally get one).

Besides a SMALL engagement gift (that will cover about the price of the limos), she hasn't given us anything to date. I have booked things (such as the videographer) on the premise that she offered to pay / contribute to the cost.

It is FINE if she doesn't want to pay for anything, but IMO, DON'T OFFER THEN!

Sorry for the vent girls... had to get that off my chest!!!!!!

---

You're absolutely right!! If she's not in a position to pay for those things, or doesn't WANT to pay for them, then she should not have offered in the first place!!
AND she has offered to pay for a whole heck of alot!!! Have you tried talking to her about this? maybe she thinks you'll ask for the $$ when you've booked everything???
IMO, her SMALL eng. gift, isn't really small, if it's enough to just about cover the price of limos.

But, if your wedding is really in 2011, then don't you think there's time!!??

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I have booked everything. My wedding is this November, and the thought of paying for all of the extra things that she offered to help with in addition to putting a downpayment / closing costs on our house makes me so sick with worry.

Well, I am only having 1 limo so the price of my limos were relatively low. And the gift was SMALL in comparison to all that she has offered to help with.

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Posted by NYPDsGirl

I have booked everything. My wedding is this November, and the thought of paying for all of the extra things that she offered to help with in addition to putting a downpayment / closing costs on our house makes me so sick with worry.

Well, I am only having 1 limo so the price of my limos were relatively low. And the gift was SMALL in comparison to all that she has offered to help with.

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Well in that case, if I were you, I would approach her..and ask that DH be there when the subject is brought up, that way it doesn't come back to bite you in the aZZ...you know?

She has offered to pay for ALOT - which she SHOULD NOT have done if she had no intention on following thru!! Def. see if you can talk to her about this and let her know that her offer to help financially is very much appreciated, and the payments for everything that you've ALREADY booked are coming up.

Hope it works out for you guys!!!

and I was getting pissed for my FMIL not offering to pay for anything (including RD) so I wont complain anymore and I'll send you a big hug

Maybe she thinks you have the money to lay out and by 'pay for things' she means give you a gift for the wedding that covers that amount?????

I would have DH hint around that you are strapped for money and could use the help she promised and see what she says.

ok I dont think youve mentioned this but have you asked her to make good on her promise

my mom said shed pay for the invites but didnt cough up the money until i said 'mom, are you still going to pay for the invites?'

Only then did I get a 'Sure, how much do you need?'

Ive gotten lots of promises but not until did I ask for it did I get it

BeautyQ115 - no, he hasn't said anything to her. He hates asking his parents for any help whatsoever. But it's FINE to take it from my MOM!

Also, Congrats on being the big winner! The necklace is beautiful!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by NYPDsGirl

BeautyQ115 - no, he hasn't said anything to her. He hates asking his parents for any help whatsoever. But it's FINE to take it from my MOM!

Also, Congrats on being the big winner! The necklace is beautiful!!!!!!!!!

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That S u c k s...after she promised you all of this stuff and he can't approach her about it!!

Oh thanks for the congrats I am so excited..can't believe I won

I'd much rather have nothing offered as well then too.

How frustrating!!

i feel you!

My FMIL offered to pay for 1/2 my shower with my sister - 4 days before the shower, she gives her $50 I was p!ssed!