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FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

MrsStefan Posted:

FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

So FMIL told us that she and FFIL would like to pay for the RD and she would like to have at this one particular place. FH and I ARE NOT having it at the place that she wants to have it because it's way to far from the church and totally not convienient (sp?) for my parent's guests. So FH and I picked another place that we would like to have it being that is is closer to the church and a very nice place. FH tells FMIL that I am going to book the place (last saturday). She FLIPS OUT and says 'well, I don't even know that place. I would like to know what I am paying for!!' FH tells me this and I FLIP OUT because, to be honest, my mom and dad are helping us with the hall and they didn't tell us where we can and cannot have our reception because they are paying.

So now, we havent booked the RD because she wants to look at the restauraunt (which I have no problem with) but she won't go look at it soon because she does things when SHE wants to. What do I do?? Do I book the restauraunt and tell her or do I wait until she goes and looks at it? I'm afraif it's going to get booked up!!!
glinda_goodwitch Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

I think you have a little time. You have 6 months. I think we booked ours only 3 months in advance. I think if it is going to keep the peace, you could see if you, FH, and your FILs can go to lunch or dinner there sometime in the next month or so. That way, she can see the restaurant and taste some of the food.

esb980 Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

See, thats the problem when people 'help'. Maybe if you ask FH to tell her how important it is to yo that she get her arse over there and take a look. Or maybe he could tell her that you and he really have your hearts set on that place. Invite her there for lunch w/ you this week. If she doesn't go, or doesn't like it, are you prepared to pay for it yourselves? If so, then go ahead and leave a deposit. this may make her mad, or she may veto your choice. I would have FH talk to her...


Maybe you could take herthere for a early mothers day!!
lacey&mark Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

you prob have time before you book the restaurant. but if its where you most definitely want to have it, i would just book it now. if she wants to pay for it after she checks it out and it meets her approval, then she can, and if she wants to push restaurants onto you that you don't want, then i would just pay for the RD myself. i would tell her that you are going to book her the place before you do it and let her know that this is where you and fh want to have it, and if she wants to pay for it you would greatly appreciate it. i hate when people try to control stuff. ~lacey

JazzyT Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

She does not have the right to tell you where to host your RD because she is paying for it, she should be helping you genuinely...howvever to keep the peace just let FMIL see the place maybe you can explain to her that is gets booked up and see if that will make her put a pep in her step.

BellaEyes Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

Totally agree with Jazzy. That was not a very nice comment your FMIl made.. I mean what is this.. a competition on who pays for what?

bayla Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

this is a bit tricky, i like the ideaof all of you going to dinner or lunch there so she can 'try' it. is it fair that you can't choose it when its your wedding? no, but since she is paying, you may have to appease her, esp for your Fi sake. hang in there! :) it will work out

SummerBride06 Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

book it. you have plenty of time either way. she shouldn't tell you where you can have it. take her to dinner there this week. if she won't go, forget her. you have too many other things to worry about.

julybride06 Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help

Since she's paying, I would let her look at the place (cause she might just turn around and give you the bill if you booked it before she saw it.

Maybe you can try to see if you can hold the date and when you go with her, don't tell her you did that!
MrsStefan Posted:

Re: FMIL woes...kinda long..need help


Posted by julybride06

Since she's paying, I would let her look at the place (cause she might just turn around and give you the bill if you booked it before she saw it.

Maybe you can try to see if you can hold the date and when you go with her, don't tell her you did that!



I spoke with the manager person last weekend and he told me that they can't hold dates and the deposit is non-refundable. I even asked if the depost money could be used for a gift cert. had we decided to cancel. He said no. The problem that I'm having is that FH and I don't really go places with FMIL. I don't want to take her to dinner there. It sounds so snobby, but since FH and I got engaged my relationship with FMIL has gone down the tubes.

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