For those who don't live with FH

I'm glad I'm not alone with my situation!

FH lives at home with his parents and I live at home with mine. All four parents are great and I love them all very much, but we're not allowed to sleep in the same bed when we sleep over each other's houses. We can sleep over each other's houses whenever we want, but we have to sleep separately. When FH sleeps over my house, he sleeps in my bed and I sleep downstairs on the couch, and when I sleep over FH's, I sleep in his bed and he sleeps on the couch. It really stinks, but I can understand their point of view about it being a respect thing.

I live in an apartment building on my college campus, I just have a studio apartment by myself. FH lives in a house off campus with 5 of his fraternity brothers. Basically we will stay over each other's places if we don't have anything to do the next day... he doesn't stay over my place alot since I have a twin bed... it's kinda uncomfortable for 2 people! He usually will stay over my place if he's there and he's too tired to drive home or if we have a big test the next day that we stay up all night studying for and he doesn't feel like driving home and driving back in like an hour. I don't like staying over his house much because it is so gross... a bunch of fraternity brothers living together... yeah, lol. I mean if he cleans it then I am ok... but I usually don't shower over there, I wait till I get back to my place since the bathroom is usually bad... I'm kinda OCD about stuff being clean!

We had lived together for about a month after we dated for a year, but it was just because I had to stay in Pittsburgh an extra month for my pharmacy rotation, and had to move out of the dorms before then... so it was the only thing I could do because I had no where else to stay. Other than that... we never lived together. At first it was because both of our parents are catholic and traditional, I know they wouldn't exactly say anything if we lived together but we know they wouldn't be too thrilled about it either. Obviously now they wouldn't care... but we decided not to live together because we were both just too lazy to move out to somewhere else, lol. So as soon as we find a house this year then we'll probably finally live together! YAY!

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Posted by megzzie

I'm glad I'm not alone with my situation!

FH lives at home with his parents and I live at home with mine. All four parents are great and I love them all very much, but we're not allowed to sleep in the same bed when we sleep over each other's houses. We can sleep over each other's houses whenever we want, but we have to sleep separately. When FH sleeps over my house, he sleeps in my bed and I sleep downstairs on the couch, and when I sleep over FH's, I sleep in his bed and he sleeps on the couch. It really stinks, but I can understand their point of view about it being a respect thing.

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yes i can see both sides and not disrespecting either side...Everyone is different and different lifestyles should be respected.

It becomes a matter of what you are used to. See with my ex he was never able to stay over my house, and it would be so weird just thinking of him staying over like i couldn't even imagine it...i lived with my dad and he was very strict, and i had to respect that, well i had no choice hahahaha.

But now living situations are different, i am also older and well things are different and so is my mom...so now i find it weird if FH and i didnt have the routine we currently have bc we are so comfortable with things and can't imagine it any different

but its like i said, its only bc of what you get used to. Anything out of the ordinary will just seem odd. Ive been in both situations and def can see both point of views

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

Other than our cruise last year, he's NEVER slept over my house and I've never slept over his house. To our families it's disrespectful when you aren't married to sleep over eachother's houses. We were hesitant to share that we were going on a cruise together, but to our surprise our parents were cool with that. We come from very Italian families and sleeping in the same bed is for married couples only.

At first, I wanted to stay over his house and vice versa, but we got used to it. I am happy now that we don't...when we move into our new house together it will be like a whole new relationship...being newlyweds will be fun and everything will still be new...I can't wait!

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bahhhhh, you're in for some fun surprises, that's for sure, LOL!

I've never stayed over FH's house and he has never stayed over mine. His parents don't care but it's a MAJOR respect thing with my parents.

My sister's FH sleeps over every once in a while because he lives in astoria and doesn't drive so if they come home late from somewhere and the buses aren't running he can't get home and therefore has to stay over BUT he has to sleep in the basement.

It's a finished basement with a futon, but still. . .

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Posted by irishsweetheart

I've never stayed over FH's house and he has never stayed over mine. His parents don't care but it's a MAJOR respect thing with my parents.

My sister's FH sleeps over every once in a while because he lives in astoria and doesn't drive so if they come home late from somewhere and the buses aren't running he can't get home and therefore has to stay over BUT he has to sleep in the basement.

It's a finished basement with a futon, but still. . .

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WOO HOO for astoria hahahaha sorry grew up there, gotta shout it out lol

Yeah...although it is impossible for me to live withmy FH since he will be in Japan....I know we would not be able to live together if he was home because of my parents.

my parents are the traditional catholic irish family. and they don't believe in living together before marriage. his parents are fine with it they dont mind at all.

but now that fh is home i am sleeping over his house everyday and my mom has not said one word to me about it. i think it is because my 24 yr old brother never is home and is always sleeping at his gf's apartment and my mom doesnt say anything so i think she feels she cant say anything to me especially since i am engaged and also fh will be gone for a year and i wont be sleeping there anymore haha

but fh comes home in july of 08 and i am moving right in with him into the apt upstairs in his parents house. but i know my parents are not going tobe too happy about it especially since we really could wait 3 months till we are marired to move in but i want to do it right away since i would not have seen Fh for a year!! GEEZ its one thing to not sleep over his house but another to not even see himf or a year !!!

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Posted by cbcf

Yeah...although it is impossible for me to live withmy FH since he will be in Japan....I know we would not be able to live together if he was home because of my parents.

my parents are the traditional catholic irish family. and they don't believe in living together before marriage. his parents are fine with it they dont mind at all.

but now that fh is home i am sleeping over his house everyday and my mom has not said one word to me about it. i think it is because my 24 yr old brother never is home and is always sleeping at his gf's apartment and my mom doesnt say anything so i think she feels she cant say anything to me especially since i am engaged and also fh will be gone for a year and i wont be sleeping there anymore haha

but fh comes home in july of 08 and i am moving right in with him into the apt upstairs in his parents house. but i know my parents are not going tobe too happy about it especially since we really could wait 3 months till we are marired to move in but i want to do it right away since i would not have seen Fh for a year!! GEEZ its one thing to not sleep over his house but another to not even see himf or a year !!!

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yeah i figured his parents wouldn't mind, romanian parents are like that especially with a boy they can do whatever they want

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Posted by cbcf

Yeah...although it is impossible for me to live withmy FH since he will be in Japan....I know we would not be able to live together if he was home because of my parents.

my parents are the traditional catholic irish family. and they don't believe in living together before marriage. his parents are fine with it they dont mind at all.

but now that fh is home i am sleeping over his house everyday and my mom has not said one word to me about it. i think it is because my 24 yr old brother never is home and is always sleeping at his gf's apartment and my mom doesnt say anything so i think she feels she cant say anything to me especially since i am engaged and also fh will be gone for a year and i wont be sleeping there anymore haha

but fh comes home in july of 08 and i am moving right in with him into the apt upstairs in his parents house. but i know my parents are not going tobe too happy about it especially since we really could wait 3 months till we are marired to move in but i want to do it right away since i would not have seen Fh for a year!! GEEZ its one thing to not sleep over his house but another to not even see himf or a year !!!

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aww, i cant imagine how hard that must be! at least you know he will be yours forever when he comes back! I can just picture you telling your grandchildren about the time when you and their grandfather were apart before you were married, it sounds so romantic!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by cbcf

Yeah...although it is impossible for me to live withmy FH since he will be in Japan....I know we would not be able to live together if he was home because of my parents.

my parents are the traditional catholic irish family. and they don't believe in living together before marriage. his parents are fine with it they dont mind at all.

but now that fh is home i am sleeping over his house everyday and my mom has not said one word to me about it. i think it is because my 24 yr old brother never is home and is always sleeping at his gf's apartment and my mom doesnt say anything so i think she feels she cant say anything to me especially since i am engaged and also fh will be gone for a year and i wont be sleeping there anymore haha

but fh comes home in july of 08 and i am moving right in with him into the apt upstairs in his parents house. but i know my parents are not going tobe too happy about it especially since we really could wait 3 months till we are marired to move in but i want to do it right away since i would not have seen Fh for a year!! GEEZ its one thing to not sleep over his house but another to not even see himf or a year !!!

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yeah i figured his parents wouldn't mind, romanian parents are like that especially with a boy they can do whatever they want

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HAHA Denise!! It is sooo true...and especially my FH he is the second and youngest boy and he literally gets what ever he wants!!!!! And his older brother (who is 9 yrs older than him) always gets mad because he was allowed to do whatever but has a slight leash on him because he was alot more of a trouble maker haha

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

Other than our cruise last year, he's NEVER slept over my house and I've never slept over his house. To our families it's disrespectful when you aren't married to sleep over eachother's houses. We were hesitant to share that we were going on a cruise together, but to our surprise our parents were cool with that. We come from very Italian families and sleeping in the same bed is for married couples only.

At first, I wanted to stay over his house and vice versa, but we got used to it. I am happy now that we don't...when we move into our new house together it will be like a whole new relationship...being newlyweds will be fun and everything will still be new...I can't wait!

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Thats the same for us. He's only stayed over when my parents go away. I could stay over his house and obviously there's nothing my parents could do about it, but i just dont want to hear them going on about it. Hey, we've gone this long so whats 1 more year, right?

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Posted by SeaMaiden

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Posted by cbcf

Yeah...although it is impossible for me to live withmy FH since he will be in Japan....I know we would not be able to live together if he was home because of my parents.

my parents are the traditional catholic irish family. and they don't believe in living together before marriage. his parents are fine with it they dont mind at all.

but now that fh is home i am sleeping over his house everyday and my mom has not said one word to me about it. i think it is because my 24 yr old brother never is home and is always sleeping at his gf's apartment and my mom doesnt say anything so i think she feels she cant say anything to me especially since i am engaged and also fh will be gone for a year and i wont be sleeping there anymore haha

but fh comes home in july of 08 and i am moving right in with him into the apt upstairs in his parents house. but i know my parents are not going tobe too happy about it especially since we really could wait 3 months till we are marired to move in but i want to do it right away since i would not have seen Fh for a year!! GEEZ its one thing to not sleep over his house but another to not even see himf or a year !!!

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aww, i cant imagine how hard that must be! at least you know he will be yours forever when he comes back! I can just picture you telling your grandchildren about the time when you and their grandfather were apart before you were married, it sounds so romantic!

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haha i know its sad cause i literally want june 27th to come already so i can start counting down the days till he comes home and be with him forever with no more goodbyes!!! but i also want to enjoy the rest of the month with ihm home--- it def is hard!! I am going to be such a mess when he first leaves!!

My parents have a problem with us sleeping in the same bed in their house. They would just rather not see it. I'm actually fine with it b/c me & FH need like a king size bed to sleep together. We aren't the cuddling type... We need our separate spaces. May seem weird to some, but it works for us. When I sleep at his house, he has a full size and him and his cat take up most of it and it drives me crazy!!!! So I actually prefer sleeping in my own bed for now

My dad asked if I was going to move in with FH before the wedding so I assume they are accepting of that situation. But the first thing we would do is buy that BIG bed so we can get some good

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Posted by cds58019
Thats the same for us. He's only stayed over when my parents go away. I could stay over his house and obviously there's nothing my parents could do about it, but i just dont want to hear them going on about it. Hey, we've gone this long so whats 1 more year, right?

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Same here gurl!!! Although I am a crasher here and have a couple more yrs My parents go away almost every weekend so it's easy to do, but we find we really still don't sleep over each others too often. We have the rest of our lives to annoy each other in the same bed

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

My parents have a problem with us sleeping in the same bed in their house. They would just rather not see it. I'm actually fine with it b/c me & FH need like a king size bed to sleep together. We aren't the cuddling type... We need our separate spaces. May seem weird to some, but it works for us. When I sleep at his house, he has a full size and him and his cat take up most of it and it drives me crazy!!!! So I actually prefer sleeping in my own bed for now

My dad asked if I was going to move in with FH before the wedding so I assume they are accepting of that situation. But the first thing we would do is buy that BIG bed so we can get some good

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yea, i know what you mean, FH and i sleep on a Full size and its waaaay too small, plus i am a blanket hogger so we have to use seperate comforters, lol

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Posted by KarinAmanda

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

Other than our cruise last year, he's NEVER slept over my house and I've never slept over his house. To our families it's disrespectful when you aren't married to sleep over eachother's houses. We were hesitant to share that we were going on a cruise together, but to our surprise our parents were cool with that. We come from very Italian families and sleeping in the same bed is for married couples only.

At first, I wanted to stay over his house and vice versa, but we got used to it. I am happy now that we don't...when we move into our new house together it will be like a whole new relationship...being newlyweds will be fun and everything will still be new...I can't wait!

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my FH is 100% Italian also and though his parents dont mind - its like hush hush from the rest of the family. when there is family over in the am, and we are just waking up ... i feel weird... we have to pretend that we were up really early running errands or something hahaha

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Yeh, I couldn't get up and be all sleepy in front of his family..that's a very personal/private time of the day lol

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

Other than our cruise last year, he's NEVER slept over my house and I've never slept over his house. To our families it's disrespectful when you aren't married to sleep over eachother's houses. We were hesitant to share that we were going on a cruise together, but to our surprise our parents were cool with that. We come from very Italian families and sleeping in the same bed is for married couples only.

At first, I wanted to stay over his house and vice versa, but we got used to it. I am happy now that we don't...when we move into our new house together it will be like a whole new relationship...being newlyweds will be fun and everything will still be new...I can't wait!

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so besides a vacation you two never stayed over eachothers houses WOW.

But to each their own and what is right for one person is different for another.

See im glad that we get to know all these things about eachother...People staying together is completely different, you learn things about the person that you never knew. There are some things that do take getting used to, like for me having to get used to someone who is OCD like i said and me being the complete opposite. We have learned eachothers habits and learned how to deal with them lol. Plus we have gotten into routines and know how to work together, i know what chores he likes to do and how he likes certain things.

Also for me ill be honest, unless we did know all this about eachother i wouldn't marry him.

Before FH i wasn't even sure i ever wanted to get married, as you know i was in a long relationship and didn't even think of marriage then. I realized a long time ago that it takes more than love to make a relationship work. I want to make sure we are compatible and work well in a relationship together. I also REFUSED to marry a man that thought he was the man of the house and the woman needed to do everything.

but like i said this is what is right for me and what works for me, doesn't mean its whats right for everyone else...as long as we're all happy with our own choices then that is all that matters

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I hear ya...we were dating longer than you two so I defintely got to know a lot about him. I hear what you are saying about knowing your living habits, but I really am looking forward to learning them as a newly married couple. I have this feeling of anticipation and excitement, waiting until we can lay down together, walk around the house as we please and come home to one another...to me, that's a whole new realm I can't wait for!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by KarinAmanda

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by KarinAmanda

we almost always sleep together at either his house or mine ... usually mine because we have a kitten and cant take her to his house (his parents dont like animals)...

so yes we do wake up to each other 5 or 6 days a week - but i cant wait to acutally share a room, a king size bed, not have to go home and shower, have all of my clothes in the same place etc.

basiaclly, i just cant wait to have 'our own' space! I think that I am most looking forward to 'our home' after the wedding (looks like we will be building a house in NC )

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yeah i cant wait for all that, def will be easier.

part of me is also having a hard time having to share a room i guess its an only child syndrome

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ahhh ya tell me about it, i am a twin and all of my life i shared a room until about 17 ... how in the world am I going to go back to sharing what was finally MINE and MINE alone PLUS fh is a packrat messy slobaroni ugh i can already feel my blood pressure rising with the anxiety of his mess

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hahaha i know, its funny bc fh has ALOT of stuff up in his room and im just like uhmmm are you bringing all of this with you? Its all his memorabilia, trophies, baseball things and stuff like that...i think im gonna have to set up his own shrine somewhere in the house bc i dont want things all over the bedroom...I am the opposite, i hardly have things around my room

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That's the worst! lol Tell him to box it all, put it in the attic and let him show his son one day...that stuff is good for encouraging kids lol

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Posted by debbieh

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Posted by jteach711

I know some people who have really strict parents and are not allowed to sleep in the same bed w/ fh

they must be dying to get married

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thats me....
and plus in my room i have a twin bed.. we will fall off... during the dead summer me and FH will sleep in the living room on the fold out bed.. but with 2 different conforters...

at his house we sleep in his bed now... before he proposed he would have to sleep in his brothers room and i would be upstairs in his room.

we both live with our parents and only see eachother sat night until sun night i go home. its painful

the one night we are together its really special, so special that its one thing we both REALLy cant wait for.

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Aww, it may be painful but just think of how awesome it will be when you move in together as husband and wife!!! I am looking forward to that as much as our wedding day!