For those who don't live with FH

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

Other than our cruise last year, he's NEVER slept over my house and I've never slept over his house. To our families it's disrespectful when you aren't married to sleep over eachother's houses. We were hesitant to share that we were going on a cruise together, but to our surprise our parents were cool with that. We come from very Italian families and sleeping in the same bed is for married couples only.

At first, I wanted to stay over his house and vice versa, but we got used to it. I am happy now that we don't...when we move into our new house together it will be like a whole new relationship...being newlyweds will be fun and everything will still be new...I can't wait!

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so besides a vacation you two never stayed over eachothers houses WOW.

But to each their own and what is right for one person is different for another.

See im glad that we get to know all these things about eachother...People staying together is completely different, you learn things about the person that you never knew. There are some things that do take getting used to, like for me having to get used to someone who is OCD like i said and me being the complete opposite. We have learned eachothers habits and learned how to deal with them lol. Plus we have gotten into routines and know how to work together, i know what chores he likes to do and how he likes certain things.

Also for me ill be honest, unless we did know all this about eachother i wouldn't marry him.

Before FH i wasn't even sure i ever wanted to get married, as you know i was in a long relationship and didn't even think of marriage then. I realized a long time ago that it takes more than love to make a relationship work. I want to make sure we are compatible and work well in a relationship together. I also REFUSED to marry a man that thought he was the man of the house and the woman needed to do everything.

but like i said this is what is right for me and what works for me, doesn't mean its whats right for everyone else...as long as we're all happy with our own choices then that is all that matters

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Posted by KarinAmanda

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by KarinAmanda

we almost always sleep together at either his house or mine ... usually mine because we have a kitten and cant take her to his house (his parents dont like animals)...

so yes we do wake up to each other 5 or 6 days a week - but i cant wait to acutally share a room, a king size bed, not have to go home and shower, have all of my clothes in the same place etc.

basiaclly, i just cant wait to have 'our own' space! I think that I am most looking forward to 'our home' after the wedding (looks like we will be building a house in NC )

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yeah i cant wait for all that, def will be easier.

part of me is also having a hard time having to share a room i guess its an only child syndrome

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ahhh ya tell me about it, i am a twin and all of my life i shared a room until about 17 ... how in the world am I going to go back to sharing what was finally MINE and MINE alone PLUS fh is a packrat messy slobaroni ugh i can already feel my blood pressure rising with the anxiety of his mess

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hahaha i know, its funny bc fh has ALOT of stuff up in his room and im just like uhmmm are you bringing all of this with you? Its all his memorabilia, trophies, baseball things and stuff like that...i think im gonna have to set up his own shrine somewhere in the house bc i dont want things all over the bedroom...I am the opposite, i hardly have things around my room

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Posted by jteach711

I know some people who have really strict parents and are not allowed to sleep in the same bed w/ fh

they must be dying to get married

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thats me....
and plus in my room i have a twin bed.. we will fall off... during the dead summer me and FH will sleep in the living room on the fold out bed.. but with 2 different conforters...

at his house we sleep in his bed now... before he proposed he would have to sleep in his brothers room and i would be upstairs in his room.

we both live with our parents and only see eachother sat night until sun night i go home. its painful

the one night we are together its really special, so special that its one thing we both REALLy cant wait for.

FH has his own apartment but we are barely there. In the beginning of our relationship he felt funny staying at my parent's house where i have a small studio apartment in. So i slept over his apartment MANY nights. Practically lived there.

Now he sleeps over I would say most nights at my house. We sleep together - no issues since we are both older. We should be moving in together by the end of the summer.

i am not sure what your question is LOL but i will try to answer

FH and I each live with our parents.
When he comes over my house - I have to have the light on and the door open. . . we can't both lay on the bed either so usually he sits on the floor or in the comp chair and i lounge on the bed ( he he i am mean)

at his house we are allowed to close the door and everything B U T his parents respect that my parents are VERY strict so when they tell me i can sleep over ( after a party or whatever ) they say that FH has to sleep in the living room and I can stay in his room ( again, this is because of MY parents and not his )

when i DO sleep over FH's - i ONLY do if he has work at 6am because then we leave at 5:30 and both sets off parents are sleeping - i am sure my parents hear me come in but NO ONE has ever mentioned it.

we DO go away together - about once a year, at first. . . my parents would basically ruin my life for months before and after - they couldnt even look at me and were basically disgusted with me but now - they just pretend it isnt happening.

i am 26 and FH is 38 and if he stays over my parents dont let us sleep in the same room!!! lol I sleep on the couch in the living room and give him my bed. My dad said its a respect thing. lol and the fact that i am his little girl and he doesnt wanna even think about whats going on in my room at night!!

I went away with FH a few times and my parents would make my life miserable about it as well. I finally got so fed up with it I feel it just isn't worth it anymore. I figure I only have about a year to go. I think I can manage it. As I said he lives in the city, and I won't even bring up staying at his place. My mother would hit the roof I think. LoL! They both know that I would probably be living with him if it didn't bother them so much. But a part of me and FH too are happy that we are waiting until we're married to live together. Plus, I know what I am in store for....mess everywhere and pure laziness!!!

before we moved in together, FH gradually started sleeping over. The first three years he did not sleep over at all, mostly because of his parents but we did go on vacation together. the 4th year he slept over maybe once a month or every other month....the 5th year he slept over once a week. at 5.5 years, he stayed over about 3 nights/week.....and here we are now living together so its every night until i start working nights, then it becomes 4 night per week, lol. so you can see it was very gradual, we were hoping no one would notice!

since we've moved in together, not too much has changed other than me realizing that i have to 'remind' him to do his chores, somtimes more than once .....
So, we'll see how that progresses......(its only been a month!)

Plus i realize that hearing him blow his nose and clear his throat for 1 hours every morning actualy does bother me even though i swore it would never....lol...

AND...now i know his is a biotch for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours after he comes home for work....

....but i am glad to be having these expereinces now so at least after we are married certain routines will have hopefully smoothed out by then. newlywed stress is hard enough!

When FH and I started dating, he was allowed to sleep over my house, my dad never cared, hes italian as well.

From Jan-June of 2004 FH slept over everynite. His mom missed him i am sure, but never complained.
After June FH got us our own apartment!
Then we went to a house.

We are both grown adults, and even if our parents told us no you have to be apart at nite. I really think FH would laugh in their faces. and walk out. But that wasnt the case, when we got our first apartment, his parents, both of them went mattress shopping with us, and furniture shopping.

It was so funny how we were trying out the mattresses together.

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Posted by ant n tilde

i am not sure what your question is LOL but i will try to answer

FH and I each live with our parents.
When he comes over my house - I have to have the light on and the door open. . . we can't both lay on the bed either so usually he sits on the floor or in the comp chair and i lounge on the bed ( he he i am mean)

at his house we are allowed to close the door and everything B U T his parents respect that my parents are VERY strict so when they tell me i can sleep over ( after a party or whatever ) they say that FH has to sleep in the living room and I can stay in his room ( again, this is because of MY parents and not his )

when i DO sleep over FH's - i ONLY do if he has work at 6am because then we leave at 5:30 and both sets off parents are sleeping - i am sure my parents hear me come in but NO ONE has ever mentioned it.

we DO go away together - about once a year, at first. . . my parents would basically ruin my life for months before and after - they couldnt even look at me and were basically disgusted with me but now - they just pretend it isnt happening.

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hahaha you answered my question...i was wondering what the reasons were and the schedules people work out to see eachother when they don't sleep over eachothers house

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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It was so funny how we were trying out the mattresses together.

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Ewwww! Last night our power was out, so Fh called his dad to get the LIPA number....so his dad says, 'Have fun in the dark tonight!' Eeeeewww! that totally stops anything from happening that could have!

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Posted by SeaMaiden

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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It was so funny how we were trying out the mattresses together.

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Ewwww! Last night our power was out, so Fh called his dad to get the LIPA number....so his dad says, 'Have fun in the dark tonight!' Eeeeewww! that totally stops anything from happening that could have!

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Honestly me and FH can say anything in front of our parents, they are both the most open people in the world, we talk perverted all the time. Every time we hang out there is always some perverted inuendo one of us is making

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Posted by Espo22

hahaha you answered my question...i was wondering what the reasons were and the schedules people work out to see eachother when they don't sleep over eachothers house

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yeah one morning we woke up and his dad was up really early for some reason and i had to say 'good morning' and just bc of how i was raised - i was hysterically crying about it i was SO ashamed that he knew I slept over.

So i wanted FH to say something to him about it like pretend we just fell asleep and I would never do it again

So this is after I am crying all day and I never want to go to his house again and FH was like 'ok dad about seeing Matilde this morning .. . ' and his dad was like 'WT F are you talking about' he was still sleeping and didnt even remember it!

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

When FH and I started dating, he was allowed to sleep over my house, my dad never cared, hes italian as well.

From Jan-June of 2004 FH slept over everynite. His mom missed him i am sure, but never complained.
After June FH got us our own apartment!
Then we went to a house.

We are both grown adults, and even if our parents told us no you have to be apart at nite. I really think FH would laugh in their faces. and walk out. But that wasnt the case, when we got our first apartment, his parents, both of them went mattress shopping with us, and furniture shopping.

It was so funny how we were trying out the mattresses together.

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yeah i dont know how i would act either if we were told we couldn't lol. My dad is strict and my mom is more modern...I don't live with my dad anymore so dont have to deal with this...but my mom basically said listen i am not stupid i know they sleep together and she is in her mid twenties omg actually more like late 20's lol. She said whether its morning, afternoon or nighttime they can do the deed whenever its not just nighttime. If they couldnt sleep in the same house they would find other ways, and id rather her do it at home where she is comfortable rather than in cars or wherever hahahahaha. But its weird bc my dad comes over and late nights too and when FH is staying over and i know he knows hes sleeping over or at least i think and hes actually ok with it which shocks me, its never brought up but he has to know.

But i do understand strict parents too

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Posted by angl2001

i am 26 and FH is 38 and if he stays over my parents dont let us sleep in the same room!!! lol I sleep on the couch in the living room and give him my bed. My dad said its a respect thing. lol and the fact that i am his little girl and he doesnt wanna even think about whats going on in my room at night!!

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thats understandable lol

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Posted by SeaMaiden

before we moved in together, FH gradually started sleeping over. The first three years he did not sleep over at all, mostly because of his parents but we did go on vacation together. the 4th year he slept over maybe once a month or every other month....the 5th year he slept over once a week. at 5.5 years, he stayed over about 3 nights/week.....and here we are now living together so its every night until i start working nights, then it becomes 4 night per week, lol. so you can see it was very gradual, we were hoping no one would notice!

since we've moved in together, not too much has changed other than me realizing that i have to 'remind' him to do his chores, somtimes more than once .....
So, we'll see how that progresses......(its only been a month!)

Plus i realize that hearing him blow his nose and clear his throat for 1 hours every morning actualy does bother me even though i swore it would never....lol...

AND...now i know his is a biotch for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours after he comes home for work....

....but i am glad to be having these expereinces now so at least after we are married certain routines will have hopefully smoothed out by then. newlywed stress is hard enough!

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hahaha yes there are some things you realize that are like or some things that are not bad but def wouldnt know if we didnt always stay together or those who do live together.

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22

hahaha you answered my question...i was wondering what the reasons were and the schedules people work out to see eachother when they don't sleep over eachothers house

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yeah one morning we woke up and his dad was up really early for some reason and i had to say 'good morning' and just bc of how i was raised - i was hysterically crying about it i was SO ashamed that he knew I slept over.

So i wanted FH to say something to him about it like pretend we just fell asleep and I would never do it again

So this is after I am crying all day and I never want to go to his house again and FH was like 'ok dad about seeing Matilde this morning .. . ' and his dad was like 'WT F are you talking about' he was still sleeping and didnt even remember it!

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awww tilde see you had nothing to worry about.

its funny bc when we stay at FH's house, he has a routine on weekend mornings to wake up, go to the bagel shop by his house and buy breakfast...so he'll go and ill just wake up and he'll get for his family too, whoever is home and we'll eat breakfast together.

i still live w/ my parents and they're traditional in a lot of ways...they basically told me that if me and FH lived together before we got married, they wouldn't help pay for the wedding at all! i don't know how true that really is, but it made me nervous...when FH stays at my house, he's on the sofa in the den...but, when i stay at his place, which is usually on the weekends, we sleep together...at first my parents wouldn't allow it and i had to lie and say i was staying at a girlfriend's place...but, once they saw that we were really serious, they kind of just let it go....regardless, part of me wants to move in now and get my feet wet and part of me is okay w/ still being at home! hang in there, you're not alone!!