Brides Helping Brides ™ - ~*Friday, May 13th QOTD*~

Cloudy327 Posted: May 13, 2011 07:19 AM

~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

It's Friday the 13th!! Hopefully everyone has a great day despite that! I hope it doesn't rain the entire weekend.. it stinks that it's beautiful during the work week and gross when we are off!

Anyway... what, if anything, do you feel you need to sacrifice or compromise by being with your FH?

Since FH is a mechanical engineer, he has to live by a major city or urban area. I have always wanted to move either to upstate NY or completely out of state. However, this is not possible bc of FH's job. It is impossible for him to find work in any of the places I would love to live so when it's time to buy a house, I will be compromising for Suffolk County or Westchester area while he will be dealing with a longer commute to NYC.

Also I am not keen about some of FH's friends so that is another thing I 'sacrifice'. Maybe 'sacrifice' is the wrong word. I deal with it and don't give FH a hard time about it.

FutureMrsCat050412 Posted: May 13, 2011 08:15 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

FH's work hours :( He leaves the house at 7am and comes home between 10 and 11pm Monday through Friday. I guess that's why I take on so much & keep myself busy. I'm not missing anything at home bc FH isn't there so I try to get home around the same time as him. He also works saturdays in the summer which totally stinks bc we can't plan anything...

Sunday is our day together

S00n2beWifey Posted: May 13, 2011 08:45 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

I have to sacrafice my bathroom being clean after he gets done with it !!!

courtneydemarco12 Posted: May 13, 2011 08:54 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

What I have to sacrifice because of FH is the fact that he only works one job and I work two. I wish he was a little more ambious and willing to get a second job so we would I would feel like we are so strapped all the time and that we would have more money to save for the wedding and to buy a condo in the near future. So that bothers me the most. I think my FH scarifices a lot too in a way. I don't drive because I can't (eye sight being so poor). So I have to relie on him for rides or have to take public transportation and I need to live by a major city so I can get to places. We wanted to move down to FL and Boston we would be able to do Boston but I feel I am holding him back because he could be with some one who could take herself to work every day and not have to worry about him taking her.

FutureMrsGTL Posted: May 13, 2011 08:59 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

Not much... maybe closet space

foodgirl785 Posted: May 13, 2011 09:00 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

Posted by FutureMrsCat050412

FH's work hours :( He leaves the house at 7am and comes home between 10 and 11pm Monday through Friday. I guess that's why I take on so much & keep myself busy. I'm not missing anything at home bc FH isn't there so I try to get home around the same time as him. He also works saturdays in the summer which totally stinks bc we can't plan anything...

Sunday is our day together

This. FH is a cop so he doesn't have a normal work week. He only gets a full weekend off every 6 weeks (it really s*cks) and the time has has work is a total killer (during the week anywhere from 5 - 6am start). He works in the city and we live in suffolk so you can imagine what time he has to be up and leave in the morning

The only saving grace is that right now, his weekend work schedule starts a little later so we can still be out friday and saturday nights seeing our friends, but now that it's the summer and people are having BBQ's during the day, he completely misses out.

irisheyezrsmilen Posted: May 13, 2011 09:00 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

I will most likely have to change careers and get a more stable office type full time job, cause working in the salon isn't what it used to be. And I don't really see us being able to have a family with me making the salary that I make
but I would say that I had to sacrifice that for my FH tho, I guess that's one of those things that I just had to come to terms with for our future. Still upsetting tho......

1112bride Posted: May 13, 2011 09:08 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

Posted by S00n2beWifey

I have to sacrafice my bathroom being clean after he gets done with it !!!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shamrock212 Posted: May 13, 2011 09:13 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

I think the living situation will be what I have to sacrifice- FH is from Boston & all of his family is there- so he kind of wants to move to CT- which wiuld be right between our families...I want to stay on LI & get a job on LI- he hates LI but would consider Nassau county/queens border, that way his commute on the LIRR isnt too bad...

CaughtMyFish Posted: May 13, 2011 09:17 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

FH is a NYC teacher so we will always have to live somewhere not too far from Brooklyn. I am in Suffolk now and really like it out there (South Shore area) but we will likely move to busy and overcrowded Nassau. I grew up there but really dont want to move back.

Oh well, gotta compromise!

mara1017 Posted: May 13, 2011 09:21 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

Posted by foodgirl785

Posted by FutureMrsCat050412

FH's work hours :( He leaves the house at 7am and comes home between 10 and 11pm Monday through Friday. I guess that's why I take on so much & keep myself busy. I'm not missing anything at home bc FH isn't there so I try to get home around the same time as him. He also works saturdays in the summer which totally stinks bc we can't plan anything...

Sunday is our day together

This. FH is a cop so he doesn't have a normal work week. He only gets a full weekend off every 6 weeks (it really s*cks) and the time has has work is a total killer (during the week anywhere from 5 - 6am start). He works in the city and we live in suffolk so you can imagine what time he has to be up and leave in the morning

The only saving grace is that right now, his weekend work schedule starts a little later so we can still be out friday and saturday nights seeing our friends, but now that it's the summer and people are having BBQ's during the day, he completely misses out.

my FH is also a cop in the city.. where is your fiance? Mine is in queens.

mara1017 Posted: May 13, 2011 09:23 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

My response is similar to foodgirl... My fiance is NYPD and he does not have steady days off. He also only has weekends off every 6 weeks or so. Although he just went to midnights so I get to see him alot more and he does not miss as much as he did when he was working 4pm to midnight.
But it sucks sometimes to not be able to sleep in the same bed as him.

kjzimpel Posted: May 13, 2011 09:46 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

All of my friends and family are from Minnesota. So I have always dreamed of moving back home, but FH does not want to go. When I first realized things were getting serious with us, it was a huge decission for me to decide weather was I was going to take the chance and stay here or give it all up and move back home. I am glad I choose to stay. I miss my family and friends all the time, but have meet new friends here and he has a great family!

pixietina Posted: May 13, 2011 09:48 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

Posted by FutureMrsCat050412

Sunday is our day together

I can totally relate to you there Date Twin! FH owns a store and he refuses to move far away from it. I worry that I may have to live the rest of my life in the bronx or maybe we could move up north a little. Thinking about that gives me headaches when it comes down to where I want to really settle down and live the rest of our lives.

Also he works saturdays so we only get sunday to be together. Which is really annoying if his family wants to see him because then we get no time together.

His hours used to be really bad when his store closed at 9 and he wouldn't get home until 10. Over the last 4 years I have got him down to closing at 7. Then if he ever takes the day off his workers will call him alllllllll day with questions.

The only other sacrifice I make is dealing with some of his lowlife friends and brother.

MrsJPH2012 Posted: May 13, 2011 10:17 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

I think we both have to sacrifice a lot... FH more than me.

I'm in the military so my job requires me to move every 3-4 years and deploy for 6-12 months at a time every year. This summer I'm pulling him away from a place he's lived at with friends and family for the past 10 years to move across the country to someplace he's never been.

However, he just started a new career and although I think he'll be very successful its not a job where he can pull up and start over every 3 years (he is a financial advisor and although he can work anywhere, he would have to start over with his clients). So there is a chance I may have to leave my career.

It sucks because I knew eventually I may have to find something else, but I think FH isn't worried anymore because he knows he'll be making more money, but it wasn't the money I was worried about, I love my job and I'm super good at it so the idea of stopping is horrifying right now. At least I have some time :)

JRT5412 Posted: May 13, 2011 11:47 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

As of now what I have to sacrifice is FH's crazy schedule. Every week he schedule changes so I never really know when he's off unless he tells me. And if i need him to not work one day i have to let him know in advance so he can notify at his job not to give him to work that day. Thats about it for now.

One thing that I might have to sacrifice in the future is moving out of Brooklyn/NY. FH is set on leaving NY. But NY is where my family is and I have never lived apart from them. I'm very close with my family and FH isn't with his. So for him it's easier to get up and go but for me it will be really really hard. I told him that once he is my husband i will follow him wherever he goes b/c my kids and him will be my family but its something that does make me sad just thinking about. One thing he did agree on is taking my mother with us wherever we go so she can watch the kids

irisheyezrsmilen Posted: May 13, 2011 11:54 AM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

Posted by JRT5412

One thing that I might have to sacrifice in the future is moving out of Brooklyn/NY. FH is set on leaving NY. But NY is where my family is and I have never lived apart from them. I'm very close with my family and FH isn't with his. So for him it's easier to get up and go but for me it will be really really hard. I told him that once he is my husband I will follow him wherever he goes b/c my kids and him will be my family but its something that does make me sad just thinking about. One thing he did agree on is taking my mother with us wherever we go so she can watch the kids

I feel you!! born and raised in Brooklyn and my FH has his mind set that we will be getting a house as our next big step, after the wedding. But Brooklyn is too too expensive so we will prob need to venture out to S.I. and I'm not too happy about it, but I understand why...

Just can't imagine NOT living in Brooklyn and being more then 15 mins from my fam

Jill52787 Posted: May 13, 2011 12:06 PM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

FH is a journalist. He's in charge of supervising 12 daily news sites, so he is 'on the clock' 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's frustrating sometimes, but it also has its perks. he works from home unless he's covering something so when I'm off in the summer, he can come to the beach with me during the week. But on a Friday night if there's breaking news he has to work.

All of it is worth it!

Soon2BeABC Posted: May 13, 2011 12:08 PM

Re: ~Friday, May 13th QOTD~

My FH is a corrections officer so he has a cop schedule and only gets weekends off every 2-3 months. He rotates his hours every other week. 730am – 330pm, then 330pm – 1130pm. He also has taken on a 2nd job, which I am so grateful for. Ive adjusted to his schedule and we make do.

Other than that I havent and wont be sacrificing too much!