Our best man decided to book his wedding one week before ours! we are getting married in Rome, and he will be on honeymoon and informed us tonight he will not be able to attend our wedding. Getting married Rome Italy October 12 2008.
We have had our date booked for 7 months now, sent our save the dates and all. We have been engaged for 1 year.
BM just got engaged 3 weeks ago, and decided to book his wedding one week before our in NY.
Needless to say many of our guest are not going to attend our wedding because monetarily they can not afford 2 weddings in one week, and 2 weddings in one week and travel expenses can be pricey.
Help! We do not know how to approach the situation. (The BM told everyone elses of his plans last week, we found out through the grapevine..... and now after confronting him, he is not offering an explaination).
We are upset obviously, do we save the freindship. Or do we confront the situation and clear the air to try and save this 25 year long friendship?
Please post any advise. We are so confused?!
bemyyoko
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Re: Friend getting married same day
honestly... while i am well aware that brides do not 'own' any day at all.... this is a totally ******** situation for you to be in. who the hell books their wedding and honeymoon at a time that would make them miss the wedding of someone they were supposed to be the 'best man' for.
to me... that shows a sign of a major problem. seriously... i just can't imagine how you and your FH must be feeling right now. I would be sooooo po'd that i'm not sure what i would do. i am shaking with anger just reading your post!
I wish i had some wise words or something to offer you... I don't. I just wanted to offer any support i can, and to let you know that if you are angry it is totally justified and valid and you should not let someone tell you that you're being selfish or anything.
He KNEW when your wedding was!!
beachbum05
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Re: Friend getting married same day
Wow. Im annoyed just reading this. Man, I wish I could say that I would be the 'better person' in this situation, but honestly, I'm so PO'ed just reading that and I know its not possible.
At the end of the day - despite the bullcrapola, the people who want to be at your wedding will be there....I guess I'd focus on that.
Ooh, but it makes me so mad hearing that.
CNC4eva3402
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Re: Friend getting married same day
What a sh*tty thing to do!! I can't even imagine what went thorugh his head when he deceided that was the right thing to do. Hello..theres 52 weeks in year..he couldn't have picked a different one??
I wish I knew what to tell you, but I really don't have any advice. I give you credit for not blowing up on him already!
Well, if it comes down to people choosing between going to your wedding or his, I think they'll pick yours..he doesn't seem like such a great 'friend'...
Kimbalina
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Re: Friend getting married same day
Wow! What a tough situation. However being that he and everyone else knew that your wedding was the week after and a destination wedding,, you would think SOMEONE would have already spoke up for you. (that is if you have a lot of the same friends). Destination weddings are expensive and ofcorse less people would attend then if you were having it in NY, but being that he already said he was going to be your best man... I am wondering why he would agree to that date. Plus why would someone sooo close (to be considered a Best Man) put your guest in the situation of choosing,, and why would he choose to take HIMSELF out of your wedding? If he is not offering any explanations,, maybe his future Bride was the one who made the decsion Good luck and I am sorry that you are going through this-
DNS91308
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Re: Friend getting married same day
Posted by Kimbalina
Wow! What a tough situation. However being that he and everyone else knew that your wedding was the week after and a destination wedding,, you would think SOMEONE would have already spoke up for you. (that is if you have a lot of the same friends). Destination weddings are expensive and ofcorse less people would attend then if you were having it in NY, but being that he already said he was going to be your best man... I am wondering why he would agree to that date. Plus why would someone sooo close (to be considered a Best Man) put your guest in the situation of choosing,, and why would he choose to take HIMSELF out of your wedding? If he is not offering any explanations,, maybe his future Bride was the one who made the decsion Good luck and I am sorry that you are going through this-
I was thinking the same thing. Its probably the future bride. Not that it is any excuse.... but i think when it comes to what we want for our wedding we all know how determined a bride can be
Im sorry for your situatiion but i think your true friends and the people who love will be at your wedding and that is whats important.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Friend getting married same day
Whoa......I dont know what to say either.......This was supposed to be the BEST MAN!?!??! WOW is all I have to say......I think your FH needs to speak with him about this - how could someone say yes to being the Best Man and then drop out because he planned his honeymoon during your wedding? That is the WORST part of it all to me......that is BALLS......if I were your FH i would never speak to him again - I would feel totally disrespected BUT I am evil and spiteful so don't listen to me for advice but seriously, i hurt for you and your FH when I read this post.....I hope everything can be worked out
Espo22
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Re: Friend getting married same day
WOW that is terrible, the first thing i thought about is the fact that someone you two are so close with would not attend your wedding. And you say he was the best man wow, i know if my closest friend was getting married i would make sure i am there no matter what...obviously when he booked his honeymoon he knew that he would miss your wedding.
mariaobride
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Re: Friend getting married same day
Eww what a messed up situation you are in- sorry to hear this. I would confront them and be completely honest with how you feel- I'm sure they would not be so happy if they situation was reversed . It is up to them to react to what you have to say and then you will have an idea of how you want to pursue your friendship. So sorry .
Espo22
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Re: Friend getting married same day
I would confront him and say first that you are very hurt that he is missing your wedding and that you would never have expected him to do this and that as a good friend you thought he would do anything to be there.
empressdani
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Re: Friend getting married same day
this is highly scandalous. I wouldn't want to schedule my wedding anywhere near a good friend's much less the week before. If he was the best man I assume that you all were pretty close so yes, you should talk to him. I question what the motivation for his decision to book so close to your date was....
Fall Bride 2008
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Re: Friend getting married same day
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I think that is totally uncalled for and your BM should of never done that knowing about your plans already. I would definatley say something about it and let it be known to them that that was 100% totally wrong and uncalled for.
zoe282
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Re: Friend getting married same day
Wow! I probably would've flipped out right as he told me...but I am rather hot headed. It's good that you have had some time to think the situation over. Personally I think it's best to always tell someone how you feel when they've hurt you because no matter what happens with your relationship with this guy you will always hold it inside that he did this to you at such a special time. If it was his FW it's still not an excuse. I know if I did that to my FH he wouldn't have it. He wouldn't have allowed me to book it. I think you need to get to the bottom of it, you'll feel better in the end to get it all out.
JimmysPants
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Re: Friend getting married same day
Posted by bemyyoko
honestly... while i am well aware that brides do not 'own' any day at all.... this is a totally ******** situation for you to be in. who the hell books their wedding and honeymoon at a time that would make them miss the wedding of someone they were supposed to be the 'best man' for.
to me... that shows a sign of a major problem. seriously... i just can't imagine how you and your FH must be feeling right now. I would be sooooo po'd that i'm not sure what i would do. i am shaking with anger just reading your post!
I wish i had some wise words or something to offer you... I don't. I just wanted to offer any support i can, and to let you know that if you are angry it is totally justified and valid and you should not let someone tell you that you're being selfish or anything.
He KNEW when your wedding was!!
Wow I have to agree!! I would confront it.
jennandrolo
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Re: Friend getting married same day
that is insane. i know you would hate to lose a friendship over this but obviously he wasnt a real friend in the first place to do something like that.
AmandaLynn04
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Re: Friend getting married same day
That really stinks.
I'd change mine to a week before his, but not tell him. But, I'm pretty b1tchy.
Future Mulligan
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Posted by AmandaLynn04
That really stinks.
I'd change mine to a week before his, but not tell him. But, I'm pretty b1tchy.
LOVE IT!
DNS91308
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Re: Friend getting married same day
Posted by Future Mulligan
Posted by AmandaLynn04
That really stinks.
I'd change mine to a week before his, but not tell him. But, I'm pretty b1tchy.
LOVE IT!
Note to self:
Dont pi$$ off future mulligan or amandalynn...
Mici n KC
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That is f*cked up! I would be fuming and tell him he is no friend at all. Did they actually book their RH and HM yet?
futuremrsfab
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Re: Friend getting married same day
omg that's horrible- I am so sorry to hear that. I think that your fh and the bm should really talk about this- its really unfair, plus with your own wedding in Rome- you probably wont be able to go to his wedding- maybe he will feel different when he realizes that.
