Well..if the subject didn't get your attention maybe the rest of the story will!!!
My wedding date: 5/9/14. It has been on FB since my engagement in November, 2012. We have a wedding website that has also been posted numerous times on FB with over 3,000 hits.
My moms first cousins son just got engaged THREE WEEKS AGO..and picked the SAME WEDDING DATE 5/9/14 There will be an overlap of people who will be invited to both weddings.
People from that side of the family have known about my wedding date. Engagement gifts were purchased and sent/personally dropped off at my house. My mom has discussed with her cousin the venue, date etc. My aunt has also discussed with family members the date. I cannot imagine that NOONE from that side of the family had NO idea...
It is a very big deal because of the fact that this is also MY FAMILY who will be invited to MY wedding. My mom is so upset because these are her first cousins. Its disrespectful and rude.
They JUST booked their venue last night. I found out through FB -- and basically I have gotten NO WHERE except responses from the groom like this: 'had no idea it was your wedding date - let the drama begin!' he is also saying that its 'just his immediate family' aka his aunts/uncles/cousins that will be invited. UM HELLO? I know we may not be FIRST COUSINS - but this is still my FAMILY who will be invited! I am close with them! I call his aunt 'Aunt' also! How the hell could this even happen!!
So, I bascially in the nicest way I could politely asked him to change his date. They just booked it yesterday. This should be a NO BRAINER! He never addressed the situation and now the families are feuding.
If it was the reverse situation I would 100% be on the phone and doing everything in my power to change my date so that the families could attend both weddings.
WHAT THE HECK DO I DO?
Chaz
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Omg I'm so sorry! That seriously sounds so awful and no offense but your cousin is an idiot if he doesn't change the date. You definitely went about it in a respectful way, and I really hope he changes it! If he doesn't, the only advice I can think of is send out your invitations earlier than him!
meejack1110
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Wow I can't believe they did that! It's for sure a sticky situation. I think nicely asking them to change the date is ok, but be careful not to push any buttons in an already tense situation. It would be a shame for something as silly as picking a new day to cause a rift in the family. Maybe go straight to his mom (or have your mom talk to his) I know going to the moms may seem a little childish, but sometimes it takes the wisdom and intervention of the older generation to sort this out. lol Best of luck either way, and keep us posted!
meejack1110
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Re: Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Posted by Chaz
Omg I'm so sorry! That seriously sounds so awful and no offense but your cousin is an idiot if he doesn't change the date. You definitely went about it in a respectful way, and I really hope he changes it! If he doesn't, the only advice I can think of is send out your invitations earlier than him!
lol yes! send the STDs Now!! haha
Soon2BeMrsMango
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
There is nothing YOU can do. Hopefully they change the date. This situation totally sucks & to be honest, I would hate to be in your shoes right now. Technically your family should go to yours since you booked first but you never know what people will do. I hope they change the date & realize they are wrong.
StephanieXO
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
wow, sorry! this is nuts! because not only does it affect the actual wedding day, but think: rehearsal dinner and all the other events leading up to that point. I think you did the right thing! they have 364 other days to choose from.
cmonaco10
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
My moms sisters and brothers will obviously come to my wedding - but its my moms first cousins who will have to make the decision, which is terrible!!!! I tried to explain this to the groom - my mom's cousins son - but i don't know if he understands or is just playing 'dumb'
my mom DID speak with his mom last night and she was saying how she had 'no idea' which is RIDICULOUS!!
My engagement photos arent until june 24 and IDK if i am able to change it d/t our work schedules. that means STD won't be until July! I don't feel like I should RUSH right now to send them out so its like 'tit for tat' oh 'I sent my STD out before yours HAHA' kind of thing..I'm not like that - PLUS - our engagement photos are SO PERFECT for how we are going to send out the STD that everything would be ruined and I am not willing to compromist my STD or ANY PART of my wedding!
this is so upsetting! this is supposed to be the happiest day of someones life! WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE WHO IS PART OF THE SAME FAMILY!!!!!!!!??????????
violet0711
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
oh no!! that totally sucks. Sorry to hear.
cmonaco10
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Re: Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Posted by StephanieXO
wow, sorry! this is nuts! because not only does it affect the actual wedding day, but think: rehearsal dinner and all the other events leading up to that point. I think you did the right thing! they have 364 other days to choose from.
omg didn't even think about that...i am going to cry - again. I am exhausted and haven't slept all night over this
Soon2BeMrsPy
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Ugh I am SOOOO sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, if they aren't willing to change the date there isn't much you can do. I think it definitely is a crappy situation and a crappy thing to do because I am SURE they knew when your wedding is. I think all you can do is go about your planning and enjoy this time and it will stink but some people may have to split their time, you don't know if they are doing an earlier or later wedding so it may not be so terrible. Again, this is YOUR experience and you should be enjoying it, try not to let this get to you. The family members will have to work it out and figure what they are going to do and I am sure will do their best to be there for you in whatever capacity they can.
Serenalee13
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Ugh I would be so annoyed! I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully enough family members that are invited to both will let the other couple know they will be attending yours(since you did book the date first!) and hopefully that will make them change the date.
cets1290
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Since this was your mom's cousin's son, do you think that maybe it was his fiance that chose the wedding date and wouldn't budge on it? I don't know them, but your mom's cousin could have told her son and future daughter-in-law that your wedding date was on the 9th, and maybe her daughter-in-law really wanted that day and didn't listen to her.
I know that my FH didn't really care about what date we chose, nor would he have remembered if it fell on any other important dates because he never keeps track of his schedule lol- So the girl could have picked just picked the 9th without discussing with anyone haha
Chaz
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Re: Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Posted by cets1290
Since this was your mom's cousin's son, do you think that maybe it was his fiance that chose the wedding date and wouldn't budge on it? I don't know them, but your mom's cousin could have told her son and future daughter-in-law that your wedding date was on the 9th, and maybe her daughter-in-law really wanted that day and didn't listen to her.
I know that my FH didn't really care about what date we chose, nor would he have remembered if it fell on any other important dates because he never keeps track of his schedule lol- So the girl could have picked just picked the 9th without discussing with anyone haha
This! I definitely agree - there's a good chance he might've not known it was your date, or remembered at the time. I'm literally my FH's personal calender, he won't remember a date he made plans for 5 minutes ago.
Maybe once they see the trouble this will cause, they'll talk it over and change the date. If they just booked it shouldn't be too difficult as long as they don't have all their vendors lined up.
cmonaco10
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Re: Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Posted by cets1290
Since this was your mom's cousin's son, do you think that maybe it was his fiance that chose the wedding date and wouldn't budge on it? I don't know them, but your mom's cousin could have told her son and future daughter-in-law that your wedding date was on the 9th, and maybe her daughter-in-law really wanted that day and didn't listen to her.
I know that my FH didn't really care about what date we chose, nor would he have remembered if it fell on any other important dates because he never keeps track of his schedule lol- So the girl could have picked just picked the 9th without discussing with anyone haha
true - she made some remarks on FB about that she didn't care but honestly its my wedding, too.
cmonaco10
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
update: he said he emailed the venue to see if they can make it the week earlier... my mom is pissed its around the same time - but beggers can't be choosers...
now lets hope the bridal shower isn't the same time...
crossing my fingers!!
Soon2BeMrsPy
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Re: Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Hoping everything works out!!
Brunettelizzie29
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Ooh no! So sorry that you have to go thru that! It was wrong on their part to book the same day as you, knowing you had it booked since last year. It's your day and you can't let that stress you, everyone should know the right thing to do and that is to go to your wedding. I'm sure its a lot on stress on your mom which isn't right, because this should be the happiest time of your life! Best scenario would be they change the date, some halls let you change that..when I booked mine, I put 2 dates on hold to make sure the church was available and then I called them back to confirm what date I wanted booked. I hope they get to change it.. :/
luckyerialc
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Jeez, this is awful! I'm glad they emailed to see if they can move the wedding - although it's kind of annoying they will be doing it RIGHT BEFORE yours now. But like you said, it's better than the former situation!
Teampuppy
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Frist wedding breakdown: same wedding date!
Wow that was very inconsiderate of them. To read this it hurts me and makes me want to cry. I feel bad for you and FH. Really what is the significance of that date to them? It's different if they didn't know but you said everyone clearly knew. If I was in their shoes I would of changed my date without any questions asked knowing that is your date.
