Frustrated

Ok so I need to vent and I don't think anyone will understand except you girls!!

It seems that everyone involved in my wedding is attempting to bring me down! First- my 'friend' of 12 yrs and BM backs out of the wedding and my life. Why? apparently 'no reason'. Then my FSIL (who is also a BM) continues to say how she wants to buy Louboutins and wear them to the wedding, how she knows how she wants her hair done so I better no make them do it a certain way, and how only certain shades of makeup look good on her so she's getting it done her way. She also TOLD ME quite seriously she's going to be my bridesmaid. I was going to ask her anyway her but uhhh rude? Then my cousin held up ordering the BM dresses by only paying half of the deposit, which knowing her was done intentionally. Now she's starting drama within the bridal party because she thinks she shouldn't be chipping in for the bridal shower but obv my girls (now one short) can't afford it without her input. I'm getting to the point where I want no bridesmaids!!! My only saving grace has been my incredible MOH who is my best friend.

It just sucks that people who are supposed to be closest to you can't be happy for you during the most exciting time in your life and want to make it about them!!

Frustrated

UGH! I am so sorry. My Bridal Party has been pretty good. I haven't asked them to do too much just yet but I've got a bunch of DIY projects coming up (that they've already told me sound pretty ridiculous like cry packs), all but my amazing best friend and MOH who is in Arizona so it's not like I can sit on my couch sipping a glass of wine with her. My mom, sister, cousin and father keep giving me a hard time about having a full mass, which I chose thinking I was doing the right thing by our families. If one more person asks me to reconsider that I'm going to lose it. Also my cousin and sister (BM and MOH2) keep telling me that we're not opening gifts at my shower cause they think it's boring. My shower is a surprise (date, time, place) but some of the other details I know about. It really is starting to annoy me but I'm trying to keep myself from blowing up. UGH! Sorry, this was supposed to be a response to your vent and instead I took the time to vent myself.
Did your cousin have any explanation as to why she didn't feel she should contribute to your shower?

Re: Frustrated

The sad thing about weddings is that, to me you realize who genuinely cares about you. A wedding is seriously all about the couple, and more about the bride. And I truly believe only great friends can realize that, and show it. And everyone else is mediocre or non existing. Sorry didn't mean to go so far but, I'm sick and tired too of the selfish BS. ' I aint got time for that'
Refocus on you, and what you need to do. This too shall pass.

Re: Frustrated

No it's good to vent! It's also good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. My cousin didn't give a reason except she feels too many people are invited to my shower and the moms should be paying. She asked my MOH for my guest list just so she could try to cut people off of it. It's not her wedding!!! We are having a bigger wedding because of big family and friend groups, but who we choose to invite is not her business. And also she got divorced in the last year so I think she's a little jealous. It just really sucks because I always thought we were close and that she would be supportive.

Re: Frustrated

Pretty in pink you couldn't have said it better

Re: Frustrated

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Posted by agilbe23

Pretty in pink you couldn't have said it better

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thanks!!!

Frustrated

ARG! I also think that people who have 'been there, done that' try to give you 'advice' even when it's not requested. I've had some married people in my life try to help me cut back on things I simply don't want to cut back on. They tell me it's just one day and it's not worth it. That's awesome, they had their big giant over the top wedding and no one said boo to them, or they did say something and she just didn't care. This is driving me nuts. can't wait till the planning is over and it's all party til the wedding day! AND HONEYMOON!

Re: Frustrated

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Posted by Pretty_In_Pink

The sad thing about weddings is that, to me you realize who genuinely cares about you. A wedding is seriously all about the couple, and more about the bride. And I truly believe only great friends can realize that, and show it. And everyone else is mediocre or non existing. Sorry didn't mean to go so far but, I'm sick and tired too of the selfish BS. ' I aint got time for that'
Refocus on you, and what you need to do. This too shall pass.

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I agree. I'm a very accommodating person, I believe, when it comes to this wedding and besides my one MOH I haven't asked much of my girls. So when one of the girls started creating issues a few weeks ago I was enraged. This is MY day and one day you'll get your own and be able to do whatever the heck you want. But until then just go along with whatever I say. I've been in weddings before and will be in one this summer. My goal is always to be available to help and just do whatever the bride wants us to do in terms of what to wear, where to go for a bach party, etc etc. When you say yes to being in a wedding I think this is the agreement you make.

So to the OP...don't stress too much. We all go through bumps in the road like this. Focus on the positive!

Re: Frustrated

Oh yeah a lot of us understand all of this

Every time we get together with our families, there's one family member who keeps asking me the SAME questions over and over and they are about things that I've already told her I DO NOT want.
Like I think she wishes we had the big wedding with all the lights, and videos, etc, but sorry, it's not in the budget and it isn't even what I want for myself. I have a blast at big weddings too but it wasn't in the cards for me so it drives me CRAZY to have her rehash all the details that are not in my control.
It's crazy how these things become all about what other people want. You either get involved to help or just stay out of it and show up and be happy for us!!