As i've said before, the Fiance and I are on a tight budget. We started at $8,000 and without even booking anything, discussed upping it to $9,000, because we were starting to get ****** into wanting all of the things that make up the weddings we've been to before. But when it comes down to it, I don't know that that's what would make us happy.
I don't think I want a DJ. I know that's kind of controversial, but there are just so many things I don't want to do: The Father-Daughter Dance, the Garter Toss, the bouquet toss... etc.
We have a weird family dynamic going and just getting everyone in the room together is stressing me out. So, I guess I was trying to go with a less orchestrated thing, without a DJ telling everyone who to dance with, when to dance, when to sit and eat, etc. I can totally see the upside to having someone at the wedding to do all that, but I feel like I'm starting to stray from what it is that we want.
I originally wanted a Cocktail Party after the ceremony to celebrate the wedding. I wanted food, drinks, cake at the end and maybe nothing over 3 hours. But, I wasn't finding a lot of places that offered it, or at least not for a price that was much less than that of a full 5-hour affair.
Here's the thing... I wanted everyone to be in a room, able to mingle with one another, eat, drink, make some toasts/speeches. I can do without the dancing. But I'm worried that people will be wondering what happened to the DJ. I would even be open to a string orchestra or pianist in the background while we're eating and being served butler-style.
Do you think that would be awful for a Sunday afternoon in January? I've never been to a wedding reception like the one I want to try to do, which is making me nervous, but I'm also trying to do something different - and I guess that always involves taking a risk.
Advice? Words of wisdom?
lisam1113
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
DJs do have the option of not doing all the traditions of Father/daughter dance, garter & bouquet toss. You can have them just there for some music & tell them you want it low key type of deal. You can also look into bands, I'm not sure pricing of them & how much they run tho. January is a very off peak time & pricing should be good at most halls. Just price around & see what they can give you & negotiate!!! What is an estimate number of people you plan to have? ..Not sure if you checked out Mill Pond Country Club in Medford, or West Sayville Country Club both had a reasonable price when we checked them out & I'm sure they could work with your budget. Our RH is Timber Point Country Club, try there too! I think if you have the food, drinks & some sort of music to be played along can't be bad at all!! Remember, it's your wedding, plan it how you dream it!
BklynBabe1624
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
Hello,
Like you, I tossed EVERY option out there for our wedding. Your wedding can be ANYTHING that you want. Having your wedding in January, and on a Sunday, you will save a lot on your vendors. I wanted a cocktail party and some places do this, but sometimes the cost for it was more expensive because of the quanity of the foods that you choose. Call up the reception halls and ask them about their cocktail parties. Even restaurants do these too.
As far as your DJ thought. If you had a DJ you can tell them what you want. If you do not want to do specific dances, traditional things - that is fine and they will honor that request. Again, this is your wedding so anything that you want is doable.
Other options you can do is do a cocktail party, and have some chaffing dishes to bring the cost done. You can also do a dessert party too which would be later in the evening if you wanted. You can also do a brunch which would be cheaper (much cheaper). See, there are endless possibilities. (Papa Razzi in Westbury has a great, affordable brunch menu and it is DELICIOUS, I think it was in the mid 20's a person for this). Check their website out. And for a brunch you can limit the drinks to beer, wine, soda, mimosas, juices, coffees and teas.
Your budget is doable, just take your time and make a list, between brunch, and dinner receptions. Between buffet, sit down. Price out the cocktail party and see what is affordable to you and your FH.
I hope this helps.
sjr385
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Chanwich
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
Have you thought about doing a brunch reception? I know Bridgeview offers a brunch package for around 50pp (or at least thats what it was when we were looking for my shower). That way people won't expect a full blow out party, and you can include the things that you want, but not have to do anything you don't want! Its your day, you should have it the way YOU want it, not what tradition dictates!
Bree71584
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
i think you can absolutely pull off the type of wedding you want. there are no rules for wedding planning it can be whatever the couple wants to do. so i say go for it. my only suggestion would be to have some type of music playing throughout. even if you just make a playlist on an ipod and hook it up to speakers. i personally think it would make for akward conversation if the room as no music, especially if there is already a strained family dynamic.
also if your guest list is small i would look at actual restaurants as opposed to catering halls. you could probably really save doing that, especially if you go the buffet or passed apps route.
or another option that might be really fun is a dessert reception. have your ceremony and then have everyone at the restuarnt or hall after for passed desserts. i bet that would definitely save money and if i were a guest i would love to eat cake and cookies all night
csteen85
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
I should have added, we have an invitation list of about 110 (including some kids) and we don't expect more than 90 to show up, because of OOT'ers.
I just don't see how we can afford 90 guests at $72 pp (including tax + service) PLUS a DJ for four or five hours. It pretty much will put us out of our budget, I think. And it's a lot of money to pay for a DJ when it isn't even something I feel strongly about having. :(
I guess I would like a room that does not have a dance floor, so that people aren't looking around wondering, 'where is the DJ going to go?'
I feel like I'm almost looking for the Rehearsal Dinner atmosphere, just a little bit more formal, and with more guests. I would also love a pianist in the background for some ambiance music.
I will take all of your suggestions and keep looking until we find what we are happy with!
Thank you! Christine
chilly313
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
Posted by BklynBabe1624
Hello,
Like you, I tossed EVERY option out there for our wedding. Your wedding can be ANYTHING that you want. Having your wedding in January, and on a Sunday, you will save a lot on your vendors. I wanted a cocktail party and some places do this, but sometimes the cost for it was more expensive because of the quanity of the foods that you choose. Call up the reception halls and ask them about their cocktail parties. Even restaurants do these too.
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We're doing the cocktail reception party - but with a regular cocktail hour first and then the reception. Our RH offers either one, but the price is the same for sit down dinner or cocktail reception. We just wanted everyone to be up and mingling and dancing whenever they want, without having to stop the party for dinner, etc. But definitely talk to the halls you look into- most of the ones we looked at were willing to work with us and do whatever we wanted
Yankeeelove
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
You should really look into doing a brunch reception, Bridgeview offers a really nice one and they are much more affordable than regular receptions
csteen85
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
We saw two places today, who after speaking to them on the phone, were willing to do what we were looking for: a Cocktail Wedding Reception.
The Thatched Cottage - Jan-March 2012: $60 pp + 18% service, + tax, plus $2-$3 Matred' tip per person. 75 person minimum. 3.5 hrs long (incl. ceremony, which is an additional $450). I was really unimpressed with Tonianne's customer service. She hardly seemed like she even wanted us to book. We were there for maybe 10 minutes and I have no idea why she scheduled our appointment at the same time that she had a wedding going on, because I wasn't even able to see the Cocktail room. She was very business-like and I left very disappointed. She also wouldn't book us for this package in Jan-March of 2013. She said she could only offer it for 2012. We're not sure we'd be ready to book then, so we told her we'd get back to her.
The Coral House - Pricing was much more reasonable, but you got considerably less than we would have gotten at the Thatched Cottage for really only $5 more pp. We did a taste test there and we were SO underwhelmed with the food. The room she sat us in was the room where the ceremony would have taken place and neither my fiance or I could see ourselves getting married there. :( However, Laurie was considerably nicer and much easier to talk to.
Next weekend I'm meeting Rich at Smithtown Landing... which I'm very excited for.
IrishAli
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
I think a brunch wedding would be nice, and you could pipe in your own iPod music!
We started off wanting that at Sans Souci, and ended up changing a few things. We are not doing bouquet toss or garter toss.
We opted for a 4 hour buffet laid back style daytime reception with a DJ ( no extra people, just one DJ) it is not costing us too much, and we ended up upgrading a few things, so you could easily cut it back. For 113 people and feeding vendors and the DJ, we ar just over $10,000
Then flowers and photog will be another $4500
You could easily find a smaller photography package and DIY centerpieces or something
csteen85
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
Sans Souci is definitely on my list. I actually think we'll be more like 90 people, but I like your laid-back approach. I have a feeling we're going to have to do SOME sort of DJ package, but I don't necessarily want the Electric Slide part.
I'm definitely intending to do Invitations, centerpieces myself and photography will be very basic. I'm finding it hard to stay under $8,000 at this point and we've yet to spend a dime.
I don't know if we could do a brunch, but I will definitely consider it. One of my other relatives does a Christmas brunch every year for the whole family as his gift to everyone (he's wealthy) at the Garden City Hotel and I feel like my wedding would basically be a repeat of that, which I don't want.
But something will have to give, I suppose.
lindseynaggle
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
Posted by csteen85
Sans Souci is definitely on my list. I actually think we'll be more like 90 people, but I like your laid-back approach. I have a feeling we're going to have to do SOME sort of DJ package, but I don't necessarily want the Electric Slide part.
I'm definitely intending to do Invitations, centerpieces myself and photography will be very basic. I'm finding it hard to stay under $8,000 at this point and we've yet to spend a dime.
I don't know if we could do a brunch, but I will definitely consider it. One of my other relatives does a Christmas brunch every year for the whole family as his gift to everyone (he's wealthy) at the Garden City Hotel and I feel like my wedding would basically be a repeat of that, which I don't want.
But something will have to give, I suppose.
You don't have to hire a wedding DJ at all. Why not hire a local DJ from a club? Or even a student from Five Towns College? By the way, if my DJ plays the Electric Slide, I will fire him on the spot!
foodgirl785
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
Your wedding should be the way that you want it, not the way others expect it to be.
And if you wanted to pre-warn people as to what to expect the day of, you could re-word the invitation to say 'cocktail party to follow' instead of 'reception to follow'. That may give them a heads up.
IrishAli
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
Sans Souci has a minimum of 50 and can seat up to 140, but I think keeping it under 120 is right for the space
GoldsGirl
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Re: Full Reception vs. Cocktail Wedding Reception
This past May I had my wedding at Sans Souci and it was AMAZING!!! I highly recommend for the smaller wedding. My final count was 135 and we fit perfectly. The food was out of this world, service impeccable, James and Meryl were awesome! I can't say enough great things about Sans Souci!!!
