Furious! My ex won't let DD come to MY wedding!

I just received an email from my ex-husband saying that he will not allow DD to come to my wedding where she is a FG b/c it's his weekend and even though this year I get to pick my vaca time with her and I gave him well advance notice we are not technically taking a 'vacation' so he will not let me have her! Does he really need to be a d-ick? He said it was OK months ago when I abooked the day and now he says he has the right to decline based on me not taking her 'away' as our stipulation states! I AM SO ANGRY!

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Posted by 2ndstar

I just received an email from my ex-husband saying that he will not allow DD to come to my wedding where she is a FG b/c it's his weekend and even though this year I get to pick my vaca time with her and I gave him well advance notice we are not technically taking a 'vacation' so he will not let me have her! Does he really need to be a d-ick? He said it was OK months ago when I abooked the day and now he says he has the right to decline based on me not taking her 'away' as our stipulation states! I AM SO ANGRY!

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UMMM.....call ur lawyer now and have him/her send something to him driectly or his lawyer. If it were me I would go as far as taking him to court to make sure she was there!!! So sorry you have to deal with such BS!!

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Posted by Karrie D

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Posted by 2ndstar

I just received an email from my ex-husband saying that he will not allow DD to come to my wedding where she is a FG b/c it's his weekend and even though this year I get to pick my vaca time with her and I gave him well advance notice we are not technically taking a 'vacation' so he will not let me have her! Does he really need to be a d-ick? He said it was OK months ago when I abooked the day and now he says he has the right to decline based on me not taking her 'away' as our stipulation states! I AM SO ANGRY!

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UMMM.....call ur lawyer now and have him/her send something to him driectly or his lawyer. If it were me I would go as far as taking him to court to make sure she was there!!! So sorry you have to deal with such BS!!

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This....I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!!! Wow, talk about bitter.

I hope you can work it out!!!

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Posted by 2ndstar

I just received an email from my ex-husband saying that he will not allow DD to come to my wedding where she is a FG b/c it's his weekend and even though this year I get to pick my vaca time with her and I gave him well advance notice we are not technically taking a 'vacation' so he will not let me have her! Does he really need to be a d-ick? He said it was OK months ago when I abooked the day and now he says he has the right to decline based on me not taking her 'away' as our stipulation states! I AM SO ANGRY!

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Wow that is horrible!!! You should definitely get the courts involved. He has his rights as a parent but you have your rights to have your child at your wedding. I am so sorry you have to deal with this BS. Maybe he is bitter that you are getting remarried.

Thanks ladies- I forwarded the email I got from my ex to my lawyer. My lawyer will write him a letter and I have planned to do a 'staycation' and do 'mini trips' each day.

As for bitter- I have NO idea why he would be since he just got married to his live in GF on v-day. He didn't even tell his friends until the night before and only had his and her immediate family. They got married at their house and went out to dinner after. I got the info from my DD and a 'mutual' friend. BTW- no, they weren't engaged before this. He had been introducing her as his GF up until the wedding day and still has not come out and announced he's married (a friend of mine works with him and said he hasn't said a word)

I just want to scream:

I'VE MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE AND SO SHOULD YOU! YOU WANTED THE DIVORCE NOW FACE UP TO IT!

I am so sorry you're going through this!

Having direct experience with things like this... maybe you need to look at your part and not focus at all on what he is doing. It sounds like it didnt end well and you seem to be a little too interested in the details of his new wedding. A little girl is not a hostage and in my opinion shouldnt be asked to discuss any details of her fathers wedding. The child will suffer, so its great that you moved on and he moved on... dont know what your circumstances were, but you created life together... At the moment she sounds like a pawn in a chess game, not a great place for a little kid. Thankfully you have a few mths to work this out and I believe it will work out if you dont do anything to react and create more conflict. It's harmful for her to not be at your wedding, hopefully someone can get that through to him. She'll look back on that when shes older and prob never forgive him if he doesnt let her.

For now its great to pass on paperwork to your lawyer but I'd suggest maybe talking to a professional-therapist not lawyer. I dont know him but if he's looking to cause a problem, then its best you do what you can to not passive aggressively or negatively feed into it.

And, I know nothing. Im just trying to be helpful based on my own experiences. Also, public forum so just be mindful of what you write bc everyone is able to see this searchable forum.

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Posted by linda_art

Having direct experience with things like this... maybe you need to look at your part and not focus at all on what he is doing. It sounds like it didnt end well and you seem to be a little too interested in the details of his new wedding. A little girl is not a hostage and in my opinion shouldnt be asked to discuss any details of her fathers wedding. The child will suffer, so its great that you moved on and he moved on... dont know what your circumstances were, but you created life together... At the moment she sounds like a pawn in a chess game, not a great place for a little kid. Thankfully you have a few mths to work this out and I believe it will work out if you dont do anything to react and create more conflict. It's harmful for her to not be at your wedding, hopefully someone can get that through to him. She'll look back on that when shes older and prob never forgive him if he doesnt let her.

For now its great to pass on paperwork to your lawyer but I'd suggest maybe talking to a professional-therapist not lawyer. I dont know him but if he's looking to cause a problem, then its best you do what you can to not passive aggressively or negatively feed into it.

And, I know nothing. Im just trying to be helpful based on my own experiences. Also, public forum so just be mindful of what you write bc everyone is able to see this searchable forum.

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Thank you for you advice and while I find most of what you have to give is true and a way to live by. I do want you to know that I never asked my DD about details about his wedding and she was the one to offer. Whenever she wants to talk about her daddy I never dismiss her or tell her that I don't want to hear it, not b/c I'm nosey but b/c it's important to her and I do not want her to feel like her daddy is a bad guy. I listen and say polite things when I can. I was not harping on their wedding and details. I was making the point of he continues to meddle whenever he can in my life and not focus on his. I've moved on so why can't he? I don't care that he's married, I just wish that was the end instead of him trying to mess things up for me. He was and still is a controlling person. The one to help is my lawyer. This is right now a legal thing and a therapist can only help me not waste too much energy in his 'stuff'. As for this being a public forum, I know the dangers and have posted little about my life because of this. I weighed this before I actualy hit 'post'. I do appreciate your advice but wanted to clear some things up.

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Posted by LIbridey88

He is probably still bitter even though hes married ,, what a jerk!Some people just like to bust peoples b@lls Sorry you and your dd have to deal with this. Keep us posted on how it works out!

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thanks. I needed that. He just did a di@k thing and made my DD cry on her birthday party day. I don't want to get into details now about it but I and my whole family is in tears for my DD. He is doing anythig he can to make things difficult. Maybe when I get through my anger/sadness/frustration of today I will post what happened. Right now I'f beyond furious.