My FH has an 8 yr old girl. I have been with him for 6 yrs and her and I have gotten along great. Lately when FH is affectionate with me she will do something to stop it. Or she will have a fit. We just got back from Disney and everytime he and I wanted to take a picture alone she sat on the side with an attitude or jumped in just before the picture was snapped. She also told me this week that she does not want us getting married. What should I do? I know she is just a kid and she is probably jealous that she is not the only female in his life anymore, but I should be angry or just ignore it?
BarbieGrl10
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Maybe she is jealous of all the attention you are getting with the wedding?
Maybe you can do something to make her feel extra special?
jbabidoll23
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
I do I include her in everything. She helped me pick the color scheme, she picked her dress and I asked what songs she wants played at the reception. I also told her before the wedding we are going to have a girls day out and go to get manis and pedis
fabulousmady
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
I'm sure it will pass. Its probably just jealousy that kids get when they feel the attention from their parent is being diverted elsewhere.
My future step son will go into a 'my mommy' rant whenever he's feeling left out. He'll go on and on about his mother. I'm guessing he thinks it makes me upset but it really doesnt.
littlepixie12
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Is she going to be your FG? Do you think that her mom is influencing this behavior?
jbabidoll23
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
So this is normal?
jbabidoll23
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
She is a junoir bridesmaid. I think so. When we first got engaged her mother told her that when we get married and have our kids we won't want her around anymore. Great parenting huh?
fabulousmady
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Posted by jbabidoll23
So this is normal?
VERY NORMAL
MrsDtoBe09
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Posted by jbabidoll23
So this is normal?
I think it's normal. She was your fh's number one girl at one point and now that she has to share the spotlight it must be hard. Definitely continue to do things as a 'family' but I'd also let her get some time alone with her dad too. Did they take any pictures just the two of them when you were in Disney? If not, I can't understand why she'd be jealous.
littlepixie12
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Posted by jbabidoll23
She is a junoir bridesmaid. I think so. When we first got engaged her mother told her that when we get married and have our kids we won't want her around anymore. Great parenting huh?
well thats probably it because now all the wedding planning and stuff is making her remember her moms words about not being wanted and she is acting out
MaggieLuvsJoe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Posted by jbabidoll23
She is a junoir bridesmaid. I think so. When we first got engaged her mother told her that when we get married and have our kids we won't want her around anymore. Great parenting huh?
OMG what a nice mother! Why would you say that to a child? Don't worry it seems that she is just jealous, that's normal, I'm sure it will pass.
jbabidoll23
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
She many pic with him alone. Ya her mom is not very nice. I never thought that she might be remembering her mother's words. Good point.
Autumnbride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Posted by jbabidoll23
She is a junoir bridesmaid. I think so. When we first got engaged her mother told her that when we get married and have our kids we won't want her around anymore. Great parenting huh?
i'm sure that isn't helping. I think it's normal. It's easy to forget that young kids don't have the understanding about life that we do.... she probably just feels like she'll be 'forgotten about'. Divorce is hard enough on young kids. If their's was messy, she might have trust issues.
I think it will pass, just keep including her, spending time together, and showing her affection as well. Reassuring words don't hurt either!
SeaMaiden
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
i was about 8 years old when my father remarried. From what i remember, i do not recall being upset or unhappy about it, but maybe i was. I know my mother was very depressed during this time and it was hard for me as a result. From what i have been told, i said something that made my stepmother upset, im not sure what exactly, but the end result was my stepmother being distant and angry at me my whole life. As I get older i realize how ridiculous this was to hold something an 8 year old says against them, so i have no desire to know this woman.
This is a very tough, confusing time for this little girl, keep her included as much as possible no matter how she behaves, reassure her. It will pass as soon as she realizes she is still daddy's girl and that you love her unconditionally as well.
,,,,whoops 08er crashing, didn't realize!
shell1879
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
it's the age ... is the mother in her life?
if not or if even if she is I would talk to FH and set some rules and limits. I know it sounds a little harsh but my daughter is 5 and we used to let her get away with murder now it's harder to reverse it. even though it's hard it still needs to be done or it will spiral out of control. On Oprah on yesterday i think that was a whole show on spoiled kids and I don't want to end up like that in a few years
I hope it works out for you
FutureMrsWildes
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Posted by littlepixie12
Posted by jbabidoll23
She is a junoir bridesmaid. I think so. When we first got engaged her mother told her that when we get married and have our kids we won't want her around anymore. Great parenting huh?
well thats probably it because now all the wedding planning and stuff is making her remember her moms words about not being wanted and she is acting out
I agree - that's definitely why she's probably acting that way. The mother must be saying things that make her feel upset. Maybe have FH talk to her about it?? I know she's only 8, but it might help...
Almostawife
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
It's totally normal
When my mom got remarried 32 years ago, my older sister was about 8 and when the officiant asked if anyone objects...she said I do...
little34
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
Maybe try to involve her more...like it is her day too... she is at a tough age so I would not take it personally but I would tell your FH to constantly reassure her that no one would ever take her place and how important she is to him.... maybe you can give her a job to do or something to be in charge of. ...that way she feels like you are caring about her and her opinions
Good luck
Sweeteey51
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
I say ignore it. I had a stepmother who really didnt like me only for the fact that she was jealous of the affection my father showed me. So i didnt like her either and really nothing she could do could make me. Its a phase, think about how you would feel if the situation was reversed. Just keep being nice to her no matter how she acts. Of course shes gonna say she doesnt want you to get married. you just have to ignore those hurtful comments, kids know what makes people tik. lol
KimiDanny1010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future Step Daughter Issues
have you talked to FH about this... i think this is something that he has to sit down and talk to her about before he brings you in...let her know that she will always be his little girl and that you aren't replacing her !!
