SO i have a rather small bridal party. I have my Man of Honor (who just moved to FL), and 2 bridesmaids (one who just moved to Ohio). One of my bridesmaids got married about a yr ago and she has been super supportive about my decisions, offered advice, been excited for me when i accomplish checks and been a genuinely great BM/friend. The other one... has been nothing but a pain in my ***. She is constantly complaining about money, not being supportive, not offering to help... nothing! I am getting really fed up... When my one BM is back on the Island in December we are going BM dress shopping. I told this to my pain in the *** friend and she was like.. well i am not going to have the money in Dec... bla bla bla... i tried explaining that should wouldn't have to put down a lot of money but she just kept bitching. I'm not looking at expensive dresses... 150 tops. I am also paying for their hair, makeup and what ever shoes they choose to get. Part of what is bugging me is she can piss money away on stupid **** like it's water. She is always out at bars, going to wineries, basically wasting money. If she saved 5 to 10 bucks a week from now till December, her dress would be paid for. I seriously am starting to feel like she doesn't even want to be in the wedding party. I don't have a lot of close friends. And this is really eating away at me.
Rob and Robin
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Re: Getting Frustrated... (long)
Maybe you should ask her if it is too much for her? It seems like it might be more of a burden to her than a joy. She should not be complaining about the cost of a $150 dollar dress!! That is ludicrous!
I am so sorry you are going through this.
Ker1398
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Re: Getting Frustrated... (long)
I know its annoying, but I would just try to be understanding. December is s tough month for people money-wise with the holidays and all...depending on when your wedding is, maybe she can participate in the dress search but then hold off on puchasing under january or febraury when there is less financial stress?
gaby12886
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Re: Getting Frustrated... (long)
Posted by Ker1398
I know its annoying, but I would just try to be understanding. December is s tough month for people money-wise with the holidays and all...depending on when your wedding is, maybe she can participate in the dress search but then hold off on puchasing under january or febraury when there is less financial stress?
iknow. I am trying to be. I haven't confronted her about my concern. I've kinda just come with the flow. I am trying to cut her as much slack as i can. It's just frustrating...
gmcamp
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Re: Getting Frustrated... (long)
Maybe consider giving her the option to back out? You would be better off having this happen now than closer to the wedding.
pjt212301
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So sorry that you are going through this....
connied
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You have FM
jassy119
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Crashing...
If your BM has been like this all along then it sounds like she doesnt want to be bothered. I can understand Dec is a bad month given holidays BUT you are giving her notice. Plus to me, from what you have said.. no matter when you go dress shopping she will probably have a some sort of issue.
I think you def need to have a talk to her. Maybe shes going through stuff and being a BM is too much right now or maybe shes just jealous.. whatever her reasons you shouldnt have to deal with someone whos going to act this way with u at such an important time of your life. Its better to know asap if shes not going to be in your wedding.
Good luck.
cedarcove4
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Re: Getting Frustrated... (long)
Hmmm....this sounds really upsetting. I agree with some of the previous posts. December is a tough month, but if she is your friend---she should be so psyched for you! Talk to her....let her know that if she's resenting her participation in your special day--then you'd be perfectly understanding if she' d prefer to back out. Hopefully, she will change her tune and get the hint that you need her to be more optimistic. If not---well, it sounds like it will be less of a headache for you.
Good luck!
pixietina
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Re: Getting Frustrated... (long)
Give it some time. Some BM's take longer to be helpful and considerate when the wedding is really far away. She might clean up her act eventually.
JNB818
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I say ask her to see if she wants to be part of the wedding and if this would be too much for her....the last thing I would want is someone in my wedding that feels like my whole wedding is a burden. I think you gave her enough time to save some money if you are going dress shopping in December, and omg you are already paying for hair and makeup and shoes
gaby12886
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Re: Getting Frustrated... (long)
Thanks girls. You have all helped! I think i am going to talk to her... She is going through a lot right now and i want to cut her some slack. But i think bringing it up in a casual way will get me the answers i need without causing more unneeded drama...
And yes, i do plan on paying for their hair, makeup, and shoes. I only have 2 girl in my BP so the cost would be terrible. I want to do something nice for them to help keep their costs down too. I am a really good bargain hunter and so is my BM that lives in Ohio. So i am positive we can find a great shoe deal. Our makeup is being done for free by a friend/college of my father. And our hair, well... shouldnt be too expensive, i hope! lol
