getting pregnant

Original post by kmiller

Apr 01, 2009 10:52 AM

Anyone else worry about the time frame of when to try for a baby?

I am in school earning my Masters in teaching and working full time.

Yet, I don't want to wait until I am done with my Student teaching to get pregnant because I will be thirty by that time. But if I have a baby before my student teaching, I will need to take time off for baby (unpaid) and then leave of absence for student teaching (also unpaid).

Anyone else in the same type of predicament?

flairforfashion Posted: Apr 01, 2009 12:31 PM

Re: getting pregnant

Posted by MrsCastanedain09

Posted by flairforfashion

I am not worried about getting pregnant within a certain time frame. My Mom had me at 38 so the thought of having one later doesn't bother me. I have a lot of goals that I want to accomplish before having children.[/QUOTE)

ITA.

I am really doing well in my career and I know pregnancy/maternity leave would bring this to a halt....also priorities shift after children and I'm not at the point where I want this. FH and I still have to travel the world- our dogs and us are enough for now. I say this and I'm 30, 31 when we're married....we're living abroad next year and wont be back in the States until I'm 34.

We'll probably wait until then. I still have oats to sow....that being said- If I got preganant on 9/19 I would be excited. Can't plan everything !

Exactly. I have BIG goals- one to go to Northern Europe with FH and another Carribean cruise before we have children. I want to be settled in our home and possibly have own another house to rent. I need to be 100% financially sound before having children. Money in the bank and a rental is very important to me.

KittyGags Posted: Apr 01, 2009 12:59 PM

Re: getting pregnant

Posted by gbrwneyez1581

I am also in school for my Masters in Teaching. FH wants me to get off the pill now and wants to get me pregnant asap, but I really want to wait till I am 30 to get pregnant, I am 27 now b/c of student teaching and I want to work as a teacher @ least a yr. before getting pregnant. The problem is that almost every wk FH brings it up that he want a baby now, he's only 30 going on 31 on October.

This sounds just like my FH, except hes a year older, he'll turn 32 a week after our wedding, and 2 weeks after that I'll be 29. I'd like to have at least a year of earning extra moolah and getting settled in our house before I get prego...

debzy Posted: Apr 01, 2009 01:28 PM

Re: getting pregnant

Omg, some people make it sound like 30 is ancient! We'd like to have at least a solid year of being married and settling into that before we start trying. We'll prob be around 32 when we have our first.

LousBride09 Posted: Apr 01, 2009 02:29 PM

Re: getting pregnant

I definitely know where everyone is coming from. I am starting a masters degree in September full time for 2 years. I am 30 already and will be 32 by the time I get my degree...we plan on trying right before I am done so the soonest we will have a baby is when I'm 33!

shell1879 Posted: Apr 01, 2009 02:44 PM

Re: getting pregnant

i already have a daughter (she is 6 now) but we want another 1 possibly 2
if it was up to FH i would already be preggo
he thinks we will have twin boys god help me if we do.....

i can see it now i come home from the OB hey hun guess what it is twin boys....
FH...'oh lookie here i got orders to go to Gremany'

grrrrrrrrrr Army

tonysbride09 Posted: Apr 01, 2009 02:48 PM

Re: getting pregnant

I think you're NEVER prepared to have a baby. You can have a house and lots of $$ and still not be ready. I think its more important to be emotionally ready. You're going to need alot of patience, be selfless and must have alot of love to give. So I don't think you can put a # on when is the best time. I will say that my father was 46y/o when I was born (I'm the last of 9) and now he's 72. I feel like I don't have as much time with him as my siblings did. Even growing up he was older and didn't have the energy to play with us. So I guess thats something to think about.

KittyGags Posted: Apr 01, 2009 02:50 PM

Re: getting pregnant

Posted by debzy

Omg, some people make it sound like 30 is ancient! We'd like to have at least a solid year of being married and settling into that before we start trying. We'll prob be around 32 when we have our first.

Its not ancient, there is just a short time frame for women to be their 'most fertile' whereas, that doesn't happen to men...so you have to get pregnant while you can. Its a blessing if it happens at 30 or 50, as long as its not OCTOMOM!

GT143EA Posted: Apr 01, 2009 02:50 PM

Re: getting pregnant

We are going to wait a year or two before we start trying.

BeLissa Posted: Apr 01, 2009 03:06 PM

Re: getting pregnant

I'm not sure when we'll have kids, we both really want them, but we both DO NOT want to be in our apt when we have our first baby. We want to buy a house, but at the same time we dont know where (like which side of the country where, not like what part of LI) so its hard to envision a solid plan right now. Either way, we will be married for at least a year before we try. Ideally, we'd time it so that i can be home for a few months when the baby is born and when i have to go back to work FH will have the summer off (he's a teacher). Again, that would be ideal, but we'll see how things actuall pan out!

Celeste617 Posted: Apr 01, 2009 03:09 PM

Re: getting pregnant

I'll almost be 31 and FH will be 29 when we get married, but having a baby is not one of our top priorities. We actually don't even know if we have any plans to have children. It may sound selfish, but we just want to take time to finally live our lives - come and go as we please. We've been together for 10 years and yet we feel like we've only started to enjoy life. We'll see how we feel in a few years - maybe the clock will really start ticking then!

DonnaPWhite1124 Posted: Apr 01, 2009 04:15 PM

Re: getting pregnant

Not sure. Sometimes Im like yeah I want to get pregnant as soon as we're married.

Other times, Im like ugh babies are annoying and loud.

Half my BP is pregnant. I think their experiences will help me decide if we want to try immediately or wait a little while.

slickynic Posted: Apr 01, 2009 04:21 PM

Re: getting pregnant

im also marrying a military guy and have been doing the long distance thing. im 26 now and dont want to even think about kids until im at least 30. im just graduating from grad school this year and want to start my career. but more importantly i want to enjoy married life as husband and wife. we have never lived together and i was to enjoy every moment i get with him and make our relationship even stronger.

unfortunately my parents had me out of wedlock, married, and then divorced about 10 years later. ive seen soo many marriages fail (i guess its just my luck) when the couple either gets pregnant before they are married, or gets pregnant soon after. as i said, maybe the people around me were just unlucky. but my experience has definitely driven me to take a few years to create a stronger bond with my fiance, and soon to be husband. we are obviously very close now, but im sure we will bond more after we are married and living together, and for the time being, seeing eachother every day.

just my opinion, but birth control all the way... and baby talk years down the line for me. id like to have kids when im around 32, and have the second soon after that.

Felice917 Posted: Apr 01, 2009 05:35 PM

Re: getting pregnant

Posted by Celeste617

I'll almost be 31 and FH will be 29 when we get married, but having a baby is not one of our top priorities. We actually don't even know if we have any plans to have children. It may sound selfish, but we just want to take time to finally live our lives - come and go as we please. We've been together for 10 years and yet we feel like we've only started to enjoy life. We'll see how we feel in a few years - maybe the clock will really start ticking then!

We are both 30, and this is how we both feel too. I feel like it is just us that think this way at times, so I am glad to hear this from someone else. We will see how it goes in the next few years. Don't tell that to Grandma though, she would have a heart attack knowing that we aren't going to try to pop one out asap.

MLAngelo Posted: Apr 01, 2009 05:59 PM

Re: getting pregnant

I am very concerned because I am student teaching now and with jobs so hard to come by I have no idea what the future holds. FH doesn't want kids until I am working and we are financially stable. But I am also really concerned because I have some fertility issues to deal with and the younger I deal with them the better.

So I am right there with you.

I am 29 by the way.

Celeste617 Posted: Apr 01, 2009 06:09 PM

Re: getting pregnant

Posted by Felice917

Posted by Celeste617

I'll almost be 31 and FH will be 29 when we get married, but having a baby is not one of our top priorities. We actually don't even know if we have any plans to have children. It may sound selfish, but we just want to take time to finally live our lives - come and go as we please. We've been together for 10 years and yet we feel like we've only started to enjoy life. We'll see how we feel in a few years - maybe the clock will really start ticking then!

We are both 30, and this is how we both feel too. I feel like it is just us that think this way at times, so I am glad to hear this from someone else. We will see how it goes in the next few years. Don't tell that to Grandma though, she would have a heart attack knowing that we aren't going to try to pop one out asap.

HAHAHA when we talk to Grandma about this we say 'one day when we have kids' only to keep her from jumping out the window

More and more people that I know seem to share the same sentiment. It's a personal decision and as long as you and FH/DH are on the same page it can work. Hey, I love spending time with my nieces and nephews but at the end of the day we get to say goodbye.

MirabellaNYC Posted: Apr 01, 2009 08:29 PM

Re: getting pregnant

I'm 30, and FH is turning 34 this summer. We are going to wait around 2 years to get pregnant. There's definitely a lot of traveling we want to do together, plus we each have to sell our apartments we each own and buy a house and get it all together before we get preggo.

My obgyn said that because I'm having babies 'later' (LOL) that I'm going to start pre natal vitamins next year and get myself ready.

I didn't realize your 30's were considered 'later' to have kids...I think I'm right on time!

MrsDR2010 Posted: Apr 05, 2009 05:14 AM

Re: getting pregnant

Its always a good idea to wait and enjoy time together first before you have a baby. My FH and I moved in together last yr and it took us like a mth....not planned to get pregnant....but I definately suggest waiting so that u all can get quality time together...it also helps alot too when the baby come and things run a lil smoother

but sometimes things happen for a reason.....we rented at the time and when I got pregnant ...it seemed like everything stated falling into place......we got a house by the time I was 5 mths preg and 2 cars after baby was born and got engaged...so sometimes things seem a lil backwards for God knows why and sometimes blessings come from it.....I am proof

Posted by coldasice217

Initially I wanted kids right away, but now I don't. Luckily, I'm still rethings tuns a lil ally young, and knock on wood, healthy, so I do have the luxury of time. We'll probably end up trying to wait at least 1-2 years before trying, because we want to be a little selfish and enjoy finally being able to have privacy and time for ourselves and we'd like to go to Europe at least twice. Plus, I don't think FH is ready to be a father yet, and needs to mature a bit first. I'd like to see how he's able to handle being 'on his own' first before having him be responsible for another life.

Ann 52409 Posted: Apr 05, 2009 07:24 AM

Re: getting pregnant

I would love to wait until September but whatever God's will is....

MrsInglima Posted: Apr 05, 2009 07:46 AM

Re: getting pregnant

Our plan is to wait until I'm almost done with my PhD and I can take the time to write my dissertation to be with the first baby. It will be unpaid time off, but I already won't be getting paid, and I'd rather take those months to be with the baby because once you get a job you're on their time table and you get a month or two off at best. At least for the first kid I'd like a little bit more.

Dreemer107 Posted: Apr 05, 2009 07:49 AM

Re: getting pregnant

FH & I want to wait about 5 years...ill probably crack before then and beg him for sooner.
But since 24 & 25 when we get married - we feel that closer to our 30s is better. Especially since we want to spend time together (travel and all)first before we add children to the picture.