Gift amount for a wedding...

I know this is mostly based on personal preference and your relationship with the bride and groom, but what would you say is an average amount to give as a gift for a good friend's wedding?

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

$250-$300.
I also like to get a small gift sometimes in addition to the money.

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

For a good friend, I would probably give about about $250-$300.

It all depends on your relationship with the person as well as your own financial situation.

I don't think I would go lower than $200, but that's just me. It's the thought that counts.

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

Sounds like I need a second job! I have been out of the Long Island loop for a while now I guess! Thanks for the input! It's funny how different the wedding thing is on LI...here in Texas and anywhere else people think I am crazy when I explain the LI wedding culture!

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

Depends on a lot of factors ... on average $250. But I also try to cover my plate. So the wedding I went to last month at $200 + /plate - we gave $400.

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

I would say between $300 and $400

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

I give between 200-300. I think some people give less especially those not planning a wedding because they have no clue how much it costs per plate.

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I usually give enough to cover my plate and then some. If they are really close, like family, I'll try to give as much as I can since it's their wedding.

And to add to this, I have heard from some friends where they paid almost $100 a head, that they only got gifts of $50 or $75 PER COUPLE! I just think people don't realize how much it costs these days, especially in NY. Isn't it proper etiquette to give the plate plus gift?

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I know I'll probably be in trouble for this, but, I just want to say - maybe the people who only gave 50-75 had no idea that the accepted gift was as high as it is. I will tell you - though this was a number of years ago- I truly had no idea what a wedding cost or how much to give. I gave $50-$75. When, a while later, someone was discussing how 'cheap' one of her husband's family member was for giving something similar, I felt very bad because I didn't mean to insult my friends by giving such a 'cheap' gift, but also, quite frankly, I felt so pissed off that these people were judged so harshly. Maybe it was all they could afford or maybe they truly just had no idea. Anyway, I do realize how much weddings cost now and have certainly increased my gifts, but I think that, if you can afford it, it's great to be so generous, but if not, I would hope that at least I wouldn't allow myself to get offended by someone not giving me what is considered the correct amount for a GIFT.

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I wouldn't expect people to cover their plate. Some people would not be able to afford to go to weddings if they had to cover their plate and a gift on top of it.

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I agree with Sonicstef on this one.. I try to cover me and my guest's plate and then throw in a little something extra...

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

I don't believe there is a correct amount to give. A guest who wishes to give money to a bride and groom should consider how much they can afford to give and their relationship with the couple. I don't belive that you must cover your plate and add something to it. I may very well be doing that when I give money, but I invariably have no idea, because I have never asked someone how much their wedding costs per person.

I personally have given anywhere from $100 to $300 to different people for different reasons. Even though I am giving you my opinion, I sort of think you shouldn't care what I do. Whether you give $50 or $500 is completely up to you and a gracious host will not think anything of it.

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I have mixed feelings about this. I also think that if you have the $$ than, definitely $200-$300. Some people use $100 pp as a general rule. However, I don't think it's fair to say that if a person only gave $50-75 that they are cheap (unless you KNOW they have lots of money) and should be thinking about how much weddings cost these days. Weddings are expensive, but we CHOOSE to spend money on things to make our day as nice as we can make it. That doesn't mean that our guests have to pay based on how much we spend. And, what if someone has several weddings to attend every year, that can add up! From the perspective of someone who just had a wedding, yes it would have been nice if everyone covered their plate and then some, but it didn't work that way. I think people gave us what they could afford, and now that I've planned a wedding, I hope to give what I can afford while keeping in mind the cost of the plate and my relationship to them.

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

I agree - it depends on what you can afford. We are both financially independent so the difference between a $200 gift and a $400 gift is not going to make a difference in our lives. We try to give as much as is appropriate and affordable for us at the time.

In the past 4 years, I try to cover my plate as a judge of how much to give but its not necessary and plays no part in etiquette. I have given less than $200 at weddings of people where I came alone or were in other states where i had to spend a great deal on travel or I just wasn't able to give that much.

If someone is on a fixed income or other circumstances - more modest gifts are fine too.

I think the 'insult' comes when the guests are able to give an appropriate gift and perhaps have even received a generous wedding gift from you - and you are still given a cheap one. There really is no excuse for that except cheapness since resources and ignorance can be ruled out

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Someone once told me that you will never believe how much or little people will give you until you open your gifts. Some of my friends had elderly great aunts on fixed SS incomes give more than a non-married working person making over $50K. It really depends on the person. There is never a hard and fast rule with gifts. I also NEVER change the amount I give someone based on where they hold their reception. So if my close friend has their wedding in a McDonalds I would give the same as if she had it at the Plaza. Again, my relationship with the person also changes my gift.
You should do what you can. Don't go into debt to give a wedding gift but don't also give $25 then go to a Day Spa the next day.

Re: Gift amount for a wedding...

I agree with Nina when she says that we choose what type of wedding we want. My FH and I went expensive with the hall because we really loved it, but I will keep in mind that if we don't get back from people what we payed out than that is fine too. You'll just end up upset at the end if you expect too much from everyone because not everyone could afford to give you the same. When I go to a wedding I usually always give enough to cover for our plate and of course if it's a close family member or friend I would give more.