Gift Giving Etiquette

Original post by werock0709

Feb 02, 2007 10:14 AM

Ok so we have 4 weddings to attend this year. So if someone gives us like 300 bucks as our gift at our wedding, are we obligated to give the same amount to them as well? I don't know how this works. What I do know is that you should atleast cover your the plate cost for the both of you.

bettybcafe Posted: Feb 02, 2007 12:54 PM

Re: Gift Giving Etiquette

Posted by MJDoc12

yikes! this issue can be a bit of a touchy subject!

like i said, i think we try and give what someone gave us...but if we can't..i'd give what i can and maybe take them out to dinner or something another nite. ppl should understand if you just can't afford it!

I agree.

Future Mrs. Posted: Feb 02, 2007 01:06 PM

Re: Gift Giving Etiquette

I think that giving what you got, yourself is a great rule of thumb. If you cannot afford that amt, then you give the best you can.

I also think that the 'pay per plate' is rediculous since you have NO IDEA what people are actually paying per plate. And what if the couple chose to have a wedding that was $500 per plate?
Can you afford a $1000 gift? And likewise if a couple is having a low budget wedding b/c they can't afford it, shouldn't they still get a nice gift?

I think the best rule of thumb is $100 per guest ($200 per couple) and if you are really close to the people, and can afford it, you give more.

hunnybunnyxoxo Posted: Feb 02, 2007 02:01 PM

Re: Gift Giving Etiquette

i dont know what the proper etiquette is but i would try to match the amount.
but if someone gave me $300 i would either give $250 or$300 depending how close i am to the person and where i am in finances.

honestly, if you dont match the amount they gave you, what are they going to do? not talk to you?
people undestand that if you could you would, but just b/c they did doesnt mean you have to..
not sure if that makes sense but in otherwords do whats best for your wallet without totally jipping the couple...

TnOiOnL Posted: Feb 02, 2007 02:03 PM

Re: Gift Giving Etiquette

yea, we will give back what was given to us... Luckily we're the 1st to get married

as for paying per plate... we just had a wedding at oheka castle.. theres NO WAY we wouldve been able to give that much so we did what we could...

NinaChris07 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 02:43 PM

Re: Gift Giving Etiquette

Mel - I would reciprocate with the same amount of money.

I know others say money is tight, but we are basically just giving that money back to the person, and I think that would be etiquette.

It might also be etiquette to cover the plate, but I don't really necessarily agree with that, because its not the guests 'fault' (if they are strapped for cash) that their friend is having an extravagent wedding...

in a perfect world, if I had unlimited resources, then I would do the cover the plate rule.... but otherwise, either what they gave me and if they haven't gotten married yet, what we feel is appropriate. (but also keeping in mind that people usually give at least $100 per peson... that might play a factor)

Hope that helps!

werock0709 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 03:23 PM

Re: Gift Giving Etiquette

Posted by NinaChris07

Mel - I would reciprocate with the same amount of money.

I know others say money is tight, but we are basically just giving that money back to the person, and I think that would be etiquette.

It might also be etiquette to cover the plate, but I don't really necessarily agree with that, because its not the guests 'fault' (if they are strapped for cash) that their friend is having an extravagent wedding...

in a perfect world, if I had unlimited resources, then I would do the cover the plate rule.... but otherwise, either what they gave me and if they haven't gotten married yet, what we feel is appropriate. (but also keeping in mind that people usually give at least $100 per peson... that might play a factor)

Hope that helps!

Nina, I love when you put things into perspective

NinaChris07 Posted: Feb 04, 2007 10:49 PM

Re: Gift Giving Etiquette

Posted by werock0709

Posted by NinaChris07

Mel - I would reciprocate with the same amount of money.

I know others say money is tight, but we are basically just giving that money back to the person, and I think that would be etiquette.

It might also be etiquette to cover the plate, but I don't really necessarily agree with that, because its not the guests 'fault' (if they are strapped for cash) that their friend is having an extravagent wedding...

in a perfect world, if I had unlimited resources, then I would do the cover the plate rule.... but otherwise, either what they gave me and if they haven't gotten married yet, what we feel is appropriate. (but also keeping in mind that people usually give at least $100 per peson... that might play a factor)

Hope that helps!
Nina, I love when you put things into perspective