Ok, so I have always thought that if I decline an invitation, and send something (typically less than what I would spend if I attended the wedding), that the couple would be happy because they still got a gift (a decent one) and did not have to pay for me to be at their wedding.
My best friend asked me this the other day, and he said that my thought process made sense, but his other friend that just got married told him that he should spend MORE than if he attended, since he didn't have to pay for his hotel, etc, and was saving money by not attending.
Like my last two acquaintances that got married (not good good friends) got sent gift cards from me for like $80-$100. I thought this was good for only having to pay for my invitation?
Am I totally wrong?
0216bahama
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
I completely agree with you. If there is a wedding that my fiance and I can not make it to for whatever reason, I send a gift usually between 100-150.
IrishAli
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
Oh- and if it was a LI wedding, I would have sent more....these were weddings in Omaha, Nebraska and Portland, Oregon. Different mindset on weddings out there!
anszusterman
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
I usually would give about $100. FH told me you don't have to give a gift if you don't go! WTH!!!
JessNicole7EM
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
honestly - over 90% of people declining the wedding day are not going to send you a gift.
if you send anything - people should be happy.
Thar1127
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
Posted by JessNicole7EM
honestly - over 90% of people declining the wedding day are not going to send you a gift.
if you send anything - people should be happy.
ha totally agree, i usually give something, but less then I would give if I went
IrishAli
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Ok, I thought 'other bride' was just being crazy and selfish (kinda)!
Feeling confident in my answer, then!
leesah85
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
if i don't attend a wedding, i usually send a $50-100 gift depending on how close i am with the person. usually just something off the registry. iTA with you. you're fine.
jettahot
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
i would prob send a gift betweeen $75 - $100 in cost!
hth!
evita2781
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
Posted by JessNicole7EM
honestly - over 90% of people declining the wedding day are not going to send you a gift.
if you send anything - people should be happy.
this! i've had families and friends that never got anything from declines. i guess a lot of ppl don't know about this
ACD8
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I think you should always send a gift when you are invited to any tupe of event and cant make it...it's the right thing to do. Typically I would spend less than if I went tothe event...in thinking that I dont have to 'cover my plate'
mybabylovesmoi
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I think it makes more sense to send less, not more if you're not attending Even if you aren't spending money for travel, accommodations, etc, it doesn't mean the bride and groom are entitled to that 'extra' cash.
I had to decline a OOT wedding last summer and I sent 150 with a note of regret. If I had gone, I would have given them 300. HTH
FutureJOC
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
Posted by JessNicole7EM
honestly - over 90% of people declining the wedding day are not going to send you a gift.
if you send anything - people should be happy.
I completely agree. Unless it's family or an extremely close friend, if I have to decline an invite to a wedding, I am not sending a gift - sorry. And vice versa - if people decline to our wedding I am not expecting any sort of gift from them because I'm not even paying for their seat or favor or anything.
HSsweethearts
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RIDICULOUS!
You should spend the same or less. Not more. That's insane.
ETA: By that logic, I guess every wedding I don't go to should get like a HUGE gfift... I should factor in my dress, FH's dry cleaning on his suit, and hair and nails...do I also give te bride and groom the tip I would give my hairdresser?
I had to get my dress altered for a wedding I'm going to this weekend. I guess I should take that $50 out of the envelope
HeatherLynna
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I always send a gift when declining an invite. The amount given always depends on the person IMO.
Chanwich
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Re: Gift question when you don't attend a wedding
I honestly do the same thing as you. I don't spend as much as if I was there, unless it is a family member or close friend.
