A gift is a gift. It isn't required. My FH's parents are very nice to me. I get along with them. I think I'm looking for them to accept me as family. I don't want them to just get along with me because I'm marrying their son, I want a family bond with them. FH's parents give their son 5 times the money amount what they gave me as a birthday present. A gift is a gift, and it's very nice to get any gift. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I do appreciate that they thought of giving me a gift. But I guess it communicates, this is their son, and I'm not their daughter. My parents give the same amount to their children and their significant others. I am very thankful that I get along with them. It's really not the money, I just want to know I'm accepted as family by them. I was just wondering for everyone else....do your FH's parents give you the same level of gift?
Thanks girls.
AngnShaun
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
FH's parents have never given me a gift.
My parents and siblings have given FH and his younger brother gifts for their bdays and Christmas every year...
ETA: I lied, FMIL had me in their family Kris Kringle this year so i did get a gift... BUT, FH paid for it...
Cookie De La Devine
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
All of us (significant others) are given the same amount or equal and sometimes the same gifts. Their kids (FH- his sister and brother) are given more. I will be the first one marrying in so hopefully they will just give to us instead of seperate from then on.
allornil
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
my MIL buys me stuff all the time so I cant complain. My parents are cheap so if they buy FH anything its like ehhh.
Id sorta be upset though too. Its hurtful.
Cacarina
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
Never really thought about it before. I think they probably spend more on DH for his birthday than on me for my birthday. But I don't really care. I mean yes, we are family now, but he is their SON, and I am their DIL. It is a different relationship, imo.
pjc92980
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
i def understand where you are coming from. I dont get bday gifts from FH family but my family always give FH a gift. FH family does give christmas/hanukkah gifts to us both, but not once have i received a bday present...or a card...or a call for that matter. So i think you are fortunate that you get something, but i kinda think that you are family and should be treated the same even though you arent a daughter by blood so to speak.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
Posted by quirkybride
A gift is a gift. It isn't required. My FH's parents are very nice to me. I get along with them. I think I'm looking for them to accept me as family. I don't want them to just get along with me because I'm marrying their son, I want a family bond with them. FH's parents give their son 5 times the money amount what they gave me as a birthday present. A gift is a gift, and it's very nice to get any gift. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I do appreciate that they thought of giving me a gift. But I guess it communicates, this is their son, and I'm not their daughter. My parents give the same amount to their children and their significant others. I am very thankful that I get along with them. It's really not the money, I just want to know I'm accepted as family by them. I was just wondering for everyone else....do your FH's parents give you the same level of gift?
Thanks girls.
no offense but your FH is their son, you're not. I wouldn't expect the same level of gifts they give him that they give me. I also can't relate because I'm not looking for the whole 'bond' thing with them..
mybabylovesmoi
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
My first christmas with FIL's, FIL gave FH, FBIL, FSIL, and me a gift.
I wasn't expecting anything because our relationship was relatively new but they gave us each the same monetary amount. It was really sweet and it DID make me feel part of the family.
Maybe after you guys get married, they'll give you a joined gift??
My parents gave FH and I a bunch of gifts this past christmas including a $500 home depot card and additional money. It was meant for both of us...
IrinaBNY
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
I usually get more and better gifts from them then their son
halfbaked
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
Posted by Cacarina
Never really thought about it before. I think they probably spend more on DH for his birthday than on me for my birthday. But I don't really care. I mean yes, we are family now, but he is their SON, and I am their DIL. It is a different relationship, imo.
ITA. I'm certain they spend more on FH than they do on me. But my parents spend more on me for Christmas/birthdays than they do on FH. I don't think it's a concious thing to exclude him or belittle their relationship, I just think they know me and what I like better.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
FH is very close with my family and i'm happy about that, but he will never be treated EXACTLY like my parents' son ... he will always be my fiance / husband ... he won't ever get the same gift values as my brother and i will. but that doesn't mean he's not accepted and loved.
ElovesJ117
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
Honestly I would expect to receive the same amount. My FH's parents have always given me a gift but I know not to the same caliber as what they give FH. I'm ok with it though my parents done give him the same amount as me either lol I guess its fair in the end.
FutureJOC
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
FH's parents are very generous with the gifts they give for holidays/birthdays but they def. give FH more which is totally understandable. My mother is the same way with FH, she buys him a lot of stuff for birthdays/holidays but she def. spends more on me.
quirkybride
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
Thanks for your responses.
I love my own parents but I don't feel like they're as supportive and into me as his parents are of him. Mostly I feel this way about my dad. I think I was hoping to gain a sort of parent relationship with his parents especially because of this. Maybe I wouldn't be thinking of this stuff if this wasn't the situation. I know I'll have to accept whatever the situation is and they didnt do anything wrong.
itbroi805
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
FH's father aren't big on gifts. FH wil always get a little more than me. My parents are very good about being equal to us all, although FH gets more now than say he did 3 years ago.
I wouldn't take offense, it's probably just the way they are. FH's mom doesn't even gift her own children equally!
IrinaBNY
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
Oh and P.S. My parents def get my FH more gifts then they get me!!!!!
I don't remember last time I got a birthday/new years gift.. MEANWHILEEEEEEEE..... FH gets gifts from them ALLLLL the time lol
(they're suckin' up to him.. I know it and I'm on to them'
Lsorrent
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
FIL's always buy us gifts as do my parents. But I would never expect FIL's to spend the same on me as they would on FH, nor would I expect my parents to spend the same on FH as they do on me. I have no problem with it, in fact I kind of think that's normal.
FutureMcBride
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
My FILs have always been very generous with me... I have always gotten along with them so well and they usually give me the same amount of gifts that they do their own kids.
My parents are pretty generous with FH too, but they spend more on me than they do him, for sure!!!! I think it's a different relationship, my parents have always been very generous with myself and my siblings, I just think that maybe they don't feel obligated to spend as much on him.
Either way I wouldn't take it personally, think about it this way, would you spend as much on them as you would on your own parents? It doesn't mean that you care about them any less, it's just different when it's your own parents, KWIM?
Moonmist09
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
i must say FIL always give us all the same amount, or buy us things that come up to the same amount.
My parents do the same for my FH and sister's husband
FutureMrsG
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Re: Gifts from FH's parents
No!! Dhs parent's give me the worst gifts. Last year for christmas MIL gave me a tacky piggy bank with a saying about saving for a wedding. It suxs b/c my parent's treat DH the same as their own kids.
