Girls - I just need to talk...I got horrible news from the Doc. today...

I went back to my doctor today (she is the best) to see abou the pneumonia and my heart and see how things were going. So now I am on both work and school leave until they find out what else is wrong with me. By the end of the week ill probably be in the hospital.

I went for blood work to see about the pneumonia...I have to go for more xrays and to go see the pulmonologist. He/She will determine whether to admit me to the hospital. Too bad the one my doc told me to go to wont see me till march. She said shed call them to get me in or get me in somewhere else asap. I keep coughing, so bad i was presribed a cough suppressant full of hydrocodone just to relax me, bc id burst into tears from the pain. To make matters worse, i had such severe back pain sat night that FH gave me a pain killer that i had from some oral surgery to make it stop...even then it didnt.

So I have been on anitbiotics for a while now. The one I am is so strong that I am dizzy all day long. Well, from all the antibiotics I now have NO more good bactieria in my intestines.. Its all bad bacteria which could poison me. Im going for further blood work and testing on that alone...let alone the tests on my lungs and my heart.

I have been tacky cardic on and off for a while now. thats when Yourh Heart rate is high. My normal HR right now is 110....after walking down a 20ft hallway and back...its 125+....however....ekg and echocardiogram have come back normal....soooo now what? More tests??

Im just restless and stressing bc Now Im losing money...FH is giving all he can, but my 1200 a month is now 0 a month. I havent worked since early JAN!!! Everyone tells me not to worry, but my parents dont need the burden of picking up after me and my wedding decisions...i need to be responsible. I cant ask them for the money im losing - even tho i know my mom will come thru. I want to go for a hair trial....I cant even do that!

The depression from all of this is killing me. I cant drive. At all. I cant go out to a mall, incase i catch somethignn else. Even a cold will do some damage. I call my Bms, but its hard to get in touch with them... they are married, pregnant, and not here. They live in different states and have lives. Jason has been remarkable - hes with me alot...i told him to go to Johns (best man) to get out, because i know its getting to him, and hes scared esp with the bride who .died on her wedding day in Jan. I keep telling him its not going to happen to me ill be fine...but hes a nervous wreck.

Im not feeling sorry for myself... i want to get out and go back to work and see people. I miss people. Honestly, you guys have given me alot...i love staying up late and playing post games with Mary (debismom) and anyone whos up (now i have to get to bed early). I feel like im in good company when I post....no need for the drama llama.....great people. There is not ONE person on the boards I wouldnt love to just go grab coffee and hang with....that i dont love to talk to. NOT ONE! ♥

That was really long. I just feel like I can open up to you guys. Im so lonely and depressed that I cant go hang out and go to school and that FH is a nervous wreck. I am A NERVOUS WRECK. I just find joy here.

Thanks.

omgim so sorry that you are going through all this!!!!! if theres anything we can do let us know!!! but as for you just get as much rest as possible and dont stress about money..that you will all figure out later when u are better!!

aww first, i hope u feel better soon and everything clears up so there'll be no need for u to go to the hospital. Sounds like you have a great and supportive FH and family.
Feel better soon! we're all here for you

Lindsay I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. I know it must be really tough on you. Please try and hang in there. We are all praying that you get better real soon. If you need to talk you can certainly FM me anytime.

oh my. I know you alluded to some medical problems earlier but I didn't know what it was about b/c I guess I wasn't on the site when you originally posted about it....I am so sorry to hear about all of this, but I know you are strong and you will pull through this, and be even stronger. Your FH is supporting you but you know that your LIW ladies will support you as well!!




....it seemed like you might need those

I am so sorry you are going through all of this but you really need to try and stay positive. I suggest you pick up the book 'The Secret' it may change your entire outlook and you could see yourself feeling better.

Other than that I just think you need to relax. I know the money thing is stressful but it will all work itself out. And your fh loves you no matter what so don't stress about how he is feeling, he is just worried about you.

So concentrate on getting better and looking to the future when your health will be back to 100%.

Keep us posted and good luck

You know what they say - 'this too, shall pass.' You're going to be OK, you just have to give it time. AND, take it easy - don't worry about the money. You will never get better without rest - so focus on RESTING. It sounds like your parents will help you with $, and if you really feel bad about it, you can always pay them back later with wedding gifts or other money when you head back to work.

I will pray for you!

thanks...it feels like im spending an afternoon just gossipin with the girls i love it here

I'm so sorry to hear all this, I can't even imagine what you are going through I that they find what is wrong and get all the toxins out of your body so you can start enjoying your life again! Good luck, in the mean time

Wow i am sooo sorry to hear all this happening to you. Hopefully this will clear up soon for you. I can imagine sitting still is just agony because i was out of work for three weeks I wanted to bash my brains in from bordeom since i couldn't drive or anything because i had no money.

I really hope they find the correct medication to put you on to clear everything up.

OMG i'm sooooo sorry to hear this!!! Pneumonia is the worst and I feel so bad that the meds are not working!!!
i've had pneumonia 3 times in my life and twice it landed me in the hospital. im surprised, honestly, that if its not getting better and you are having heart rate issues, that they haven't admitted you yet. It sounds sh*tty but maybe thats your best bet. So you can get the attention and care you need.
I was rushed to the hospital a few years ago with 105 fever!! and pneumonia. I was there for almost 6 days, they pumped me with meds, gave me all these breathing contraptions and when i left it was like I was never even sick...

You better get to another doc like tomorrow. how dare they say you need to wait months to get an appt..thats not right

omg i can't believe this!! why isn't it getting better??? you poor thing, i'm sorry. but definitely stay positive I know it's hard but try to enjoy the time off - read some good books and just have some time to yourself. Think good things and good things will happen.

my friend swears by The Secret also; i've never read it but she says it's amazing.

oh my god i feel so bad.... i hope everything will turn out good, i will pray for you, dont give up we are all with you ...

you girls are all the best....seriously you are....im sitting here in tears...good tears...bc i feel like i have a friend in each of you...

as CORNY as that sounds...I know u girls are the most supportive bunch around...u know i will return the favor i you EVER need it!

OMG...my heart is breaking. I know this sounds odd, because I've never 'met' you, but I really like you (you know based solely on TV and music preferences) Please, please, please FM me. I will come and hang with you. I'm off all next week.

Seriously

oh my, i am sooooo sorry to hear about this. i guess i missed the post when you said you were sick ... bad me.

i am so glad you get comfort from us. it sounds like you need that. but you do hav a great fh and great family from what it sounds like. i am not sure what else to tell you - i just hope you get better real fast and hope that you know that we are all here to chat whenever you need to. hell, i'll even give you my phone number if you want!!

I'm sooo sorry to hear you are not doing well. The most important thing is that you rest and try to take it easy. You will only make yourself more sick if you stress. Everything will work out...your family and FH sound very supportive. Just concentrate on getting better and spending the rest of your life with the person you love!

Sending you lots of

oh i am sooo sorry ...just Remember that we ar all given trials in our life....we need to work through them....

I hope everything works out and that you are feeling better soon...
I will say a little pray for you...