Both of my sister in laws are pregnant. They are due a month a part from one another. One of them is having her second child and the other is having her third. I was not part of the family during the other births. My first sister in law chose my dh and sister in law #2 as godparents to her first. She has told us that hersecond childs godparents will be her husbands brother and a friend of hers. Sister in law #2 chose dh and sister in law #1 as godparents to baby#1. For baby #2 she chose two close cousins and now for baby #3 she has chosen 2 friends to be godparents. Maybe I am being selfish, but what am I chopped liver? I am hurt. I thought that since I am a family member now, I would have been chosen as a godparent. My dh said it is not important who they choose. So does that mean I don't have to choose them when I have a baby? If I didn't choose them, my husband would have a fit. I need advice.
Jenn524
Posted:
Member since
Re: godparent question
Personally I could see not picking a sister in law, especially if your husband is not being picked this time. My brother chose me and his wife's brother for my niece and for my nephew it's his wife's sister and my brother's best friend. He didn't pick my husband-even though we were engaged at the time of my nephew. I didn't have any problems with it at all. These are people that they are close with and will always be close with. IMO just because you're married that doesn't make them feel close to you.
If DH's sister ever has kids I would not at all be upset if she didn't choose me as a GP. We're not overly close and she has friends that she's known all of her life. I don't see anything wrong with it.
karen32
Posted:
Member since
Re: godparent question
honestly, i don't think a lot of people pick 'in-laws' as godparents. there is always the risk that something will happen and the person won't be around for the child. that is exactly what happened to me - my mom picked her only brother and his wife. well guess what? when i was 6 they divorced and she hasn't been heard from since!!! personally - i will probably not pick an 'in-law' when the time comes.
Elizabeth
Posted:
Member since
Re: godparent question
While I can understand your feelings, I have to agree with the other responses. I would not pick an in law separate from their husband or wife. And it's not b/c I dont like any of mine, I do. With my son, we had my brother & DH's sister. With the new baby we are going to have my DH's brother and his wife. Even if, God forbid, she & my BIL divorced some day, she is quite immersed in the family and knowing her, I know she would maintain ties to my child. Plus, she has a child who is my child's cousin, just stuff like that binds you more to people if that makes sense. I'm, sure they didnt mean to insult you.
gabrielle
Posted:
Member since
Re: godparent question
I can understand where you are all coming from. Does this also mean that because i am not super close to either one of dh's sisters that i don't have to choose either as godparent. If dh and i ever divorced, why would i want his sisters as godparents. since i am closer to my friends then i should choose them first correct
Jenn524
Posted:
Member since
Re: godparent question
No because it's his sisters, not their husband's that he's asking you to pick. It's his immediate family. I wouldn't be thinking hey if we ever divorced who would I want to be in the child's life. I think everyone's refering to the godparents that you choose and their relationship, not your relationship with your DH.
Elizabeth
Posted:
Member since
Re: godparent question
Posted by gabrielle
I can understand where you are all coming from. Does this also mean that because i am not super close to either one of dh's sisters that i don't have to choose either as godparent. If dh and i ever divorced, why would i want his sisters as godparents. since i am closer to my friends then i should choose them first correct
If you & your DH ever divorced, he would still be the child's father and so therefore his sisters would still be in your child's life. In regards to them asking you, you are the in law and if you and your DH divorced, you're generally out of the family's life. So there's a difference between you being the godparent to their kids vs. them being godparent to your kids.
But that doesnt mean you have the choose them either. That's between you & your DH. There's nothing wrong with choosing your friends, if that's what you prefer. Alot of times couples will say, you pick one of the godparents and I'll pick the other one.
Of course nothing is a sure thing. Plenty of siblings stop talking to each other and godparents end up being non-existent in a child's life. Blood relations do not guarantee a more solid relationship.
You're not preggo now, are you? I would try not to worry about what you might do in the future and see how you feel when the time comes.
HTH
karen32
Posted:
Member since
Re: godparent question
you do not have to pick either of his sisters when your time comes, but if you decide to go that route, you will probably have a battle ahead of you, so be prepared!!
don't worry too much about it!! like liz said - a lot of things can change between now and then.
