Greek weddings and best men

My husand is a best man at a greek orthodox wedding. The groom said that he has to have a 2nd best man because of religious complications.

Can anyone fill me in on what the complication may be

Re: Greek weddings and best men

Hi Jenny...

My FH is Greek Orthodox, so I sort of know some of the traditions...

It's my understanding that in order for someone to be a Best Man or Godfather during a ceremony in a Greek Orthodox Church, they must be Greek Orthodox (baptised as such).

We are having issues right now with his family because I'm Roman Catholic and we will be married in my Church. According to his family, if he is not married in a Greek Orthodox Church, he will be banished from the religion! And I thought Catholics were strict!!!

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask and I'll try to find out the answers from my FH.

Jessica

Re: Greek weddings and best men

I am Greek Orthodox and my FH is Catholic. We are getting married in a Catholic Church. According to the Catholic Priest, they are recognized as basically the same religion. You don't need to convert or do anything special.

Re: Greek weddings and best men

Hi: I'm Catholic and my FH is Greek Orthodox and we're getting married in the Greek Orthodox Church. The reason your FH's friend needs a 2nd best man is b/c the GO Church will not allow a non Greek Orthodox person to do the crowning ceremony. Only one person (either your Bestman or MOH)has to be GO. At our wedding, my MOH is Catholic and the bestman is FH's brother who is GO. Hope this helps!

Re: Greek weddings and best men

This is an explanation of the crowning ceremony.I took this from a Greek Orthodox Wedding Program:

The Crowning is the wedding prayer. The crowns are symbols of victory of life over death and signs of glory and honor with which God crowns Bride and Groom are crowned as the queen and king of their own little kingdom, their home, which they will rule with wisdom, justice and integrity. The crowns are joined together with a ribbon as another symbol that the two are now one. The ceremony reaches its climax when the crowns are placed upon the heads of the newlyweds. At that moment the couple becomes man and wife. Through these crowns, the Church extends its blessing upon the newlyweds. It bestows upon them the rights, privileges and responsibilities of a Christian marriage. Some interpret the crowns used in the Orthodox wedding ceremony to refer to the crowns of martyrdom, since every true marriage involves immeasurable self-sacrifice on both sides

Re: Greek weddings and best men

J&A: The Greek Orthodox and Catholic Churches both recongize each others sacraments. The history of both churches essentially stems from a single one which is the primary reason for very similiar customs and mutual recognition.

Re: Greek weddings and best men

This happened to my friend...she was the MOH at her sisters wedding to someone who was Greek Orthodox...His sister had to sign something, b/c my firned wasn't Greek, but in all other ways she was the MOH...

Re: Greek weddings and best men

The GO church does not recognize the marriage of a GO person if it is not performed in the the GO church by a GO priest. The Catholic Church on the otherhand does as long as you get a dispensation. So, before I marry in the GO church I need to obtain a dispensation from the Catholic Church, which is like a permission slip, stating that they recognize my marriage in the Catholic Church. If, however, we had decided to get married in a Catholic Church, my FH would no longer be considered a 'member in good standing' with the GO church.

This is taken from the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese Interfaith Website: http://interfaith.goarch.org/guidelines.html

'In order to remain in proper canonical and spiritual standing with the Orthodox Church, Orthodox Christians must be married by an Orthodox priest, in an Orthodox Church, and in the manner prescribed by the priest's service book, i.e., the Euchologion'.

'Orthodox partners should be made aware that if their marriage is not blessed by the Orthodox Church, they no longer are in good standing and are not permitted to receive the sacraments or participate in the sacraments as a sponsor'

Hope this helps to clarify.

Re: Marcela1654 & Sonicstef....

Marcela1654...You are absolutely correct. If my FH and I are not married in the GO church by a GO Priest, he will no longer be considered by the GO church to be a parish member. This upsets me because he has two Brothers and I know that he would have been asked to be at least one of their BM if and when they get married in the GO church. The problem is that his church is in Rockland County and my church is on Long Island, where we plan on living. Do you know if we would be able to have just the ceremony in the Go church eventually? I heard from his family that we can but only if it is after the RC ceremony. Have you encountered any problems with your FH family about this? Thanks for your help!


Sonicstef...That is actually incorrect. I thought the same thing originally, that our religions recognize each other. The RC church is fine with it, as long as he is a Christian and baptized as such. The Greek Orthodox church on the otherhand, does not recognize a marriage performed outside of the GO church (See Marcela1654's post). Thanks anyway!

Re: Marcela1654 & Sonicstef....

Hey J&A: This is the only thing I found on the GO Archdiocese website:

'Double performances of the wedding service, in both the Orthodox Church and another Church are not encouraged. This guideline is relaxed when an Orthodox Christian has been married outside of the Orthodox Church and wishes to become canonically and spiritually in good standing with the Orthodox Church. In this case, after the Orthodox priest receives permission from his bishop, the Sacrament of Marriage is performed'.

I think it just means that they do not encourage people to plan 2 ceremonies (one in the Catholic church and one in the GO church) but that they do allow GO members to have their marriage blessed by them after they have married outside the GO church. So I think your FH's family is right. You should have FH or his mom call their priest in Rockland, just to double check.

As far as encountering any problems with FH's family, I haven't so far. Before we even knew about the 'not being in good standing if you don't marry in the GO church ' rule, we had already decided to get married in the GO church. We made a compromise..We would get married at his church and our kids would be baptized Catholic and his and my parents are ok with that. But just b/c our kids will be Catholic doesn't mean we won't celebrate both and the kids won't learn about both. The religions are very similar, so I don't anticipate any problems.

Well I hope this helps. Good Luck with everything!

Re: Marcela1654 & Sonicstef....

My SIL is Greek Orthodox & for the crowning part her sister (MOH) did it. My younger brother was the best man. He just followed them around the alter!

Re: Marcela1654 & Sonicstef....

sorry for the misinformation... I just assumed that if the catholic church (who hates everyone) would be okay with it, the GO church would reciprocate.

Re: Greek weddings and best men

Hi... I just got married in a greek church. it doesn't matter who does the crowning as long as they are greek orthodox. they don't even need to be in the bridal party. they can sit in a pew and wait until they are needed in the ceremony. i had my moh do the crowning because she's greek but it doesn't have to be a male it really can be anyone!

Re: Greek weddings and best men

bump for J&A

Re: Greek weddings and best men

Steph,
Yikes that was harsh.. Maybe you need a new parish. My parish has bent over backwards for us ever since we came in 140 days before our orginal date and wanted to plan, they were awesome after we solved our precana problem and we did it down in philly at another awesome parish. And even yesterday we were just there being penciled in for a date in early fall of this year. There amazing!
I know it isn't just because my fiance and I are catholic either, b/c I know that fr. Lisante who I believe runs the interfaith marriage office is by far one of the coolest priests I have ever meet.
Yes, if your of a different faith they are sticklers with the chalice during communion and I have seen a lutheran bride in a catholic mass have to take her wine from a dixie cup about 15 years ago.. but hey, if you enter into any faith's church or temple you have to obey with there rules. And I know our church gave us a list a rules before we booked (no tripods, no saber arch inside the church.. yadda yadda)
I was just wondering has your church been harsh with you and your fiance? I just found that topic hard to take from other bride marrying in a Catholic Church.

I just hate when priest are bad ones and shouldn't be dealing with engaged couples.. I mean the point of a marriage from the church's pov is welcoming your new family.. I hope you feel welcomed in yours.