so we just went over the guest list with my future inlaws....and of course over the amount of people I wanted and paid for to invite but they assured me that they would pick up for the extra people(fingers crossed they come through)....I paid my share the rest is on them and when the bill comes in i'm deferring it to them for their 'extra guests'!
anyone else going over from what they wanted due to inlaws and their friends?
mab30
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Our list is way over the number we originally wanted! Our venue is pretty small so it's stressing me out. We both have large families so it's hard to cut people out. FH isn't any help, he wants to invite a ton of people from grad school that he rarely speaks to anymore! Luckily we have about 80% of our guest list traveling, so that may cut back a lot on the people that actually come. We also had an argument with his mother last night because she doesn't want to invite her own cousins. They all live far away and she says they won't come so it's a waste. However, we see them almost every year at Thanksgiving and I think it would be embarrassing to not extend the invite to them and will ultimately reflect on us. She would rather just send them a wedding announcement, which I think is incredibly gift grabby. If they aren't going to make the trip out anyway, I don't see the harm in sending them invites to make them feel welcome.
xBudgetBridex
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We have to guarantee 175 im so scared we r going to come in at like 200!! We can't afford to be over 175!!
Kimberley2015
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I wanted a small wedding however FH has a big family. Because I wanted a small wedding FMIL told FH he just has to cut his lists because she did not want more friends than family. That being said I did not want to step on FMIL's toes but did not think it was fair for FH to have to cut his lists especially since he is the other person getting married. So we sat down and gave all parties involved the same number of seats. 50 butts for 50 seats. I understood where she was coming from not wanting more friends than family however my only family member coming is my father and I consider my guests are my family. We finally came to an agreement - thank God!!! Keeping my fingers crossed that this plan still stands.
okellies
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I'm just hoping we make 80 ppl. LOL. Luckily, I don't have a minimum, but we promised our venue 80 ppl. FH and I sat down with his parents and we came up with our list. FFIL used to be in a wedding band years and years ago and he had a couple of things to say about some venues and other wedding related things lol.
But, keep in mind, there will be people who say no, which is why you have a B list, C list, etc.
summerbridejen2015
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We were planning on 50-60 people In a resturaunt, Its now 145-150 invited in a hall....I don't know what happened.My mom has a lot of friends going and I told her she can have 4 couples and the rest she has to pay for....family everyone I am paying for ....I don't know how this got so much bigger then planned lol
Holly87
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thanks!<3 I know how ya'll feel. we are both like well if you want your friends you can pay for them... then his mom told us 'well at my wedding it was mostly my parents friends'.....but heres the thing her parents paid for her wedding!!!...FH and I are paying for ours so we want our friends. I could go on and on about other things too but I will spare your lives lol
does anyone know the percentage of people who usually say no to the invites?
Sarahg9
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I think when I was originally looking at venues they said to plan around 20% of people would say no. I have a relatively small guest list right now around 130 and have to guarantee 100. We are hoping to keep it as close to 100 as possible but I'm sure when we really look at the list again there are people we will need to add.
Kimberley2015
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I think the percentage of those that do not attend is about 15-20% However with my FMIL she is making sure ALL of her guests are attending. Lol
okellies
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I have the opposite of everyone lol. My FFIL has experience in all this and he said to keep it simple and only have who you want there, essentially.
Kimberley2015
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Re: Guest list
Posted by okellies
I have the opposite of everyone lol. My FFIL has experience in all this and he said to keep it simple and only have who you want there, essentially.
So true and as it should be
gberti
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Our room at JT holds 240-250 max & when we had my parents, his parents and us write up our list of people to invite we were over 300! We expected to have a huge wedding but I was so stressed about cutting people off and putting them on a B list (theres another room at JT that holds many more people but I didnt like it as much as dome :) ).. now we are down to Inviting 235 on the A list and hoping there are a good handful of nos to invite from B
laa328
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Right now we have 130 on the list and have to guarantee 100. I made a rough draft of who I thought my parents would want to invite and ended up taking some off the list because they didn't have them on the list they had talked about and made. I was very happy to hit the delete button on my computer! As far as the future in-laws, FH is telling FMIL who of her friends is invited. She will want to invite every person from her prayer group and their whole family and FH isn't having that. His parents aren't giving us any money towards the wedding and his mother has made it clear that they can't because in her words they are poor. So, if she says anything about adding to the guest list, FH will put his foot down and tell her no.
Djswedding
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We started at 100 when we got engaged, went to 200 when we booked the venue... Now we are at 250... I didn't even know I could know this many people!!! Ladies, we should have eloped!! Hahah
DebOst
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we started at 160, our list is now at 210. It is ridiculous. My mother keeps adding people. I finally told her enough is enough. We told each side we would pay for 50 of their guests if they go over they have to pay. My mother went over by a good 15, FMIL stayed at a nice solid 50. I will take it.
I am sure your in laws will come through. I would just remind them when that first payment comes up for the catering hall....
Nellabella
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I totally hear ya! The guest list is the worst part about planning! It actually gives me so much anxiety. I just want the minimum granted # to show! Are any of you girls following the 20% won't go rule? Sometimes I feel everyone will come and then I feel no one will come lol plus FH and his parents don't help! FMIL wants to invite every person she has ever talked to! Mind you, no one is helping us with $. FH says we have to let them invite who they want out of respect..but I feel they aren't respecting our budget! How is everyone approaching this situation without calling off the wedding??? lolol jk.
Kimberley2015
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FH and I put our foot down. I know how excited FMIL is but at the same time she has to understand this is our wedding and we just wanted to be fair. So we came up with a number and said these are the amounts of seats each of us have to invite. No more no less and stuck with it. We will definitely meet out minimum and should everyone we invite come that is fine too as we still get to have our guests who we wanted. Truthfully at the end of the day FH and I decided it all came down to numbers. Everyone getting the same amount. Trust me this was the hardest part when it came to wedding planning. The next hardest part is seating arrangements. I am going to let FMIL have fill reign with that one in regards of sitting family together. Our friends seating arrangements is going to be easy.
Kimberley2015
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FH and I put our foot down. I know how excited FMIL is but at the same time she has to understand this is our wedding and we just wanted to be fair. So we came up with a number and said these are the amounts of seats each of us have to invite. No more no less and stuck with it. We will definitely meet out minimum and should everyone we invite come that is fine too as we still get to have our guests who we wanted. Truthfully at the end of the day FH and I decided it all came down to numbers. Everyone getting the same amount. Trust me this was the hardest part when it came to wedding planning. The next hardest part is seating arrangements. I am going to let FMIL have fill reign with that one in regards of sitting family together. Our friends seating arrangements is going to be easy.
okellies
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I believe the majority of people on my list will make it (I think there may be 5 who won't because they are long shots). I think I'm just glad to be involved with frugal in laws; they know that we are keeping it to a minimum and they agree with it as well. They can only contribute a small amount, as well as my dad, so we are on our own and they respect that.
HesLIgirl
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Ugh, I wish I could get our list to 250. We guaranteed 250 to the venue, but our invite list is around 345 (with As, Bs, and Cs). We all have too many friends and family-- a good problem to have!
