Had a breakdown last night...

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

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Posted by Michelleypie

Don't feel like you're being ridiculous; I know countless girls who feel the same way, and it's understandable. That's YOUR fiance; you don't like the idea of the typical stripper prototype giving him a lap dance.

However, the idea of lap dances don't really bother me, and maybe if I share why it'll make you feel a little better .

For one thing, I think of everyone's real motivation. The women are doing it for money; they're likely not getting a thing out of it except a ton of singles in their underwear. The men are doing it for laughs and testosterone induced fun time; I know lots of guys who have gone and, like someone said earlier up, it's just a good time for them; according to the ones I've asked about it, it's more about the male bonding and comradery than it is about getting turned on or anything.

For another, I just lay a comparison in front of me - in the process of getting married, a guy who has a wild bachelor party gets two things - a lap dance from some random girl who's getting nothing out of it for a few minutes for the amusement of his friends, and, then, a lifetime of happiness (and, incidentally, FAR more than a SINGLE lap dance ) from a woman that he LOVES and has specifically chosen to spend the rest of his life with. Any old girl could go to the gym and work out enough to make a ton of singles at this place, but a man picks ONE WOMAN to be his wife, and he sees something in her that he doesn't see in anyone else...INCLUDING those women!!!

I know it's more the principle than anything else, but, if I just have to say, judging from your B-pics, your future hubby's a lucky man, and I don't think those strippers could hold a candle to you! You've got NOTHING to worry about!!

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THAT was awesome. You have just made me feel a ton better about my FH possibly getting lap dances on his bach party. And I am sure you've made Marisa feel a ton better too.

THANK YOU.

You, my dear, need to post more!

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Posted by kslmbuggie

i wouldnt be upset about this. i dont think any women would like their man getting a lap dance by another woman, but it is apart of the strip club experience for men, especially at a bachelor party, and at least he told you. There are many other things to be upset about, just L.I.G.

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Posted by mmckinnon

So sorry to hear that you had to go to work with puffy eyes. I know the feeling. I found out that my FH went to a strip club in the city from the internet. I was so upset with him for not telling me what they did, well 'we just went to dinner and a bar'. he just so happened to leave out the fact that the bar was in a strip joint. My aunt put it the best way she said that in a way you are being cheated on before the wedding
I dont' like strip joints. I have been to a guy strip joint, and it was gross. Never been back. I'm 26 and I went when I was 18.

So, I feel that you are right for being upset.

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Posted by RisiLeigh

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Posted by kslmbuggie

i wouldnt be upset about this. i dont think any women would like their man getting a lap dance by another woman, but it is apart of the strip club experience for men, especially at a bachelor party, and at least he told you. There are many other things to be upset about, just L.I.G.

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What does LIG mean? I am not up on that chat lingo LOL!

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And what a sweetheart you are for saying what you did about me I agree with Jen - you def need to post more LOL! Thank you!!!

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Posted by RisiLeigh

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Posted by Bride908

i feel the same way as you. If FH wants to go to a strip club fine. I trust him and thats that. BUT the thought of some cheap thing throwing herself on him - or him touching her (YUCK) makes me sick. I dont want to know anything about this stuff when FH goes.

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I am with you... I probably would've been better off not knowing but knowing me, my mind would've gone off even worse!!! FH did clarify for me that the girls are not allowed to touch the men (other than their butts/vajayjays for the lap dance which is NOT ok) and the men are NOT allowed to touch the ladies at all. My bro was trying to make me feel better by saying that those things are never as erotic as we think they are, that its usually more funny and stupid than anything else. I hope thats true.

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Posted by anamaree77

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Posted by emomma17

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Posted by RisiLeigh

Wow - this is a new record for me - first coming onto LIW for the day at 1:15pm! I am training a temp who will take over when I am off for the wedding and HM so I can't very well sit online with her right next to me LOL!

Anyway... so, FH had his bachelor party in AC all weekend as you all know. I had told him weeks ago to please be honest with me if they end up going to a strip club or whatever, and at the time he told me they would be doing so. Fine, no big deal. So last night I am talking to him, and he says they went to the strip club and the guys all bought him a few lap dances... WELL... I got SO upset I felt like I was gonna throw up! I actually had to hang up with him b/c I knew I was gonna loose it if I stayed on the phone.


Now, let me clarify... it has NOTHING to do w/ trust at ALL. What got to me more than anything else was the thought of him getting aroused by this gross woman shaking her you-knows in his face, and sitting on his lap, etc. I cannot even handle the thought of that... obviously, I don't have a choice, it happened and it's over and I need to get over it but WOW... I had a serious breakdown last night.

Eventually I called him back to talk to him about it b/c obviously I can't hold it all in. I think that with 17 days to go, the stress of everything has finally hit me (AND I am PMSing this week) so it's a BAD combo!!! Anyway... I look like a bullfrog today b/c my eyes are so puffy from crying before bed last night - it's very cute lemme tell you

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I feel your pain. I told FH to be honest with me when he went to his brother in law's bachelore party...he came home and told me he got a lap dance, I was boiling inside..more so because I thought he wasn't into those from what he said. Butttttt I had to remember I asked him to be honest with me and he was so I couldn't crusify him for being honest! Although I threw out a few digs and comments, and the fact that I couldn't look at him without thinking of a woman's breasts rubbing all over him for a few days, I had to let it go!!! Not without first venting it out to my therapist!!! It stinks and boys are stupid but I was also trying ot think of it in reverse...if it was a girl's party and they had guys up there dancing i would probably be the first one after a few cocktails running up there and laughing my arse off thinking it was hysterical and dancing with them...

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EXACTLY...that's a perfect point...you'd be running up there dancing with them and thinking it's hysterical. I don't think it's really a sexual thing..it's just fun and funny....

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Posted by missK

Oh I m sorry that you are so upset.
Guys go to these things and I think alot of times the guys know that the girls (sorry dont mean to offend any dancers) are just in it for the money and really dont want anything from them physically.
Most guys dont go to get off they go to be teased.

It hit me when you said you felt 'inadequate' as if they were having sex with eachother. Its just a show and sweetie hes marrying you for you. Have some confidence in yourself and just allow yourself the right to be 'you'.
You dont have to be a porn star. You could go take pole dancing classes if you want to add that into the bedroom. There are a bunch of places that do that now.

I just re-read and hope this didnt offend I meant to give you a boost.

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