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Had to post under a different name - need your help

Original post by needurhelp

I'm a regular poster on the 08 board but I dont want to post under my real name.
This breaks my heart,
my sister and I had to tell my dad yesterday that we suspect my little 19 year old sister of a serious drug problem. I just feel like crying because this is the first time in our family that anyone has had a drug problem. I know this is breaking my parents heart, my sister and I think that they suspected it but I think they were in denial but the fact that we came straight out and said HEY YOU REALLY HAVE TO SEND HER FOR A DRUG TEST - they know they have to face the music.
My sister failed out of Boston University of her freshman year, my dad spent close to 40k paying for her year of a good time. She's daddy's little girl.
Anyway - they sent her for a drug test today - I saw her and I know she's flipping out - I don't know if there is anything you can drink or take to fool a drug test (coke) but I think if there is anything - she'd probably take it.
Ahhhhhh this is giving me knots in my stomache because if and when the test comes back positive - what then ---???? what do you do with a 19 year old? you lock her in the house? you send her off to rehab? what do you do???????
I know this is what my parents fear the most, what will they do next? I understand if you dont want to post here, but any advice (through FM) anyone could give me, my family & I would really appreciate it.
I know that the first thing is, she needs to want to stop. what to do?
needurhelp Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by Gigi08

Hopefully she's not far gone then and you can get her the help she needs. Aww, your poor father.

ETA: Ohh, I hope that's not true about your other sister's BF. If he has good reason to really believe that, maybe it needs to be brought to her attention and he needs to be confronted. That just adds to everything.


i know
its like can everyone just stop
drugs are sooooooooooooo bad
it ruins so many ppl

xXxNovember08xXx Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by needurhelp

Posted by Gigi08

Hopefully she's not far gone then and you can get her the help she needs. Aww, your poor father.


i know he had so much faith in her
she talked about med school
and he was so proud that she got into BU &
told everyone she was planning on pre med





and she STILL can...

talk about the future.. not what she could have....

there is tons of room for change.
needurhelp Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by jessnstu08

Posted by DeeluvsVinny

Please get her help. A year and a half ago we lost my cousin to drugs. He was 19 also. His parents and family knew he had a problem, and they tried to help him..but he resisted and they gave in. He promised he'd stop and said that he wanted to stop. He overdosed in his sleep one night. It was the saddest thing I've personally ever gone through. He was so talented..wrote music, sang, played guitar, an artist. I remember him just being such a bright happy kid and then something happened..and he couldn't get away from it. He started with drinking and it was the hard stuff too..and everyone was embarrased that he was always drunk at 17 years old..and no one dealt with the problem. Then he graduated to the drugs, pills and coke and heroin. The week he died..he'd gotten a tattoo on his arm to hide the needle marks. His dad regrets it every single day that he didn't do more to help him. He says 'I was never good at tough love, he was my son and I didn't know what to do and now he's gone' He wishes he would have been tougher and confronted the problem.

I don't want to upset you, but I've seen what his family went through. We were affected by it and it just is senseless. Such a beautiful life is gone. Oh, I'm tearing up now..

Please convince your parents to get her the help she needs.

ITA
I too lost a dear friend to drugs , I saw his family take him of life support because he was in a coma and brain dead from drugs . it was one of the worst things to ever go though , but addiction is that serious .


i am seriously having trouble reading all this
needurhelp Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

Posted by needurhelp

Posted by Gigi08

Hopefully she's not far gone then and you can get her the help she needs. Aww, your poor father.


i know he had so much faith in her
she talked about med school
and he was so proud that she got into BU &
told everyone she was planning on pre med





and she STILL can...

talk about the future.. not what she could have....

there is tons of room for change.


i know
Gigi08 Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by DeeluvsVinny

Posted by Gigi08

Posted by DeeluvsVinny

Please get her help. A year and a half ago we lost my cousin to drugs. He was 19 also. His parents and family knew he had a problem, and they tried to help him..but he resisted and they gave in. He promised he'd stop and said that he wanted to stop. He overdosed in his sleep one night. It was the saddest thing I've personally ever gone through. He was so talented..wrote music, sang, played guitar, an artist. I remember him just being such a bright happy kid and then something happened..and he couldn't get away from it. He started with drinking and it was the hard stuff too..and everyone was embarrased that he was always drunk at 17 years old..and no one dealt with the problem. Then he graduated to the drugs, pills and coke and heroin. The week he died..he'd gotten a tattoo on his arm to hide the needle marks. His dad regrets it every single day that he didn't do more to help him. He says 'I was never good at tough love, he was my son and I didn't know what to do and now he's gone' He wishes he would have been tougher and confronted the problem.

I don't want to upset you, but I've seen what his family went through. We were affected by it and it just is senseless. Such a beautiful life is gone. Oh, I'm tearing up now..

Please convince your parents to get her the help she needs.


OMG, that makes me want to cry...that is so hearbreaking. By any chance, was there an article in the NY Times about him?


No, he actually lived in PA with his parents.


Oh, okay. I remember reading an article about this guy maybe around the same age. He was a struggling artist, played in a band and was just starting to become recognized. He struggled with some emotional issues. He spent a lot of time in his room. But, he ended up killing himself...it was such a sad story. I'm sorry you had to experience this. It makes you feel so helpless.
Gigi08 Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by bluekat16

Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

bluekat... u are really persistant.


It's the site or computer one or the other..i get an error message and then it duplicates my post


The site seems to be running slow...at least on my end.
needurhelp Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by Gigi08

Posted by bluekat16

Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

bluekat... u are really persistant.


It's the site or computer one or the other..i get an error message and then it duplicates my post


The site seems to be running slow...at least on my end.

yes its slow on my end as well
wo0shply Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

I think going to family counseling will help. and definately rehab.

I'm sorry you have to go through this but now she can get the help she needs.
DeeluvsVinny Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by Gigi08

Posted by DeeluvsVinny

Posted by Gigi08

Posted by DeeluvsVinny

Please get her help. A year and a half ago we lost my cousin to drugs. He was 19 also. His parents and family knew he had a problem, and they tried to help him..but he resisted and they gave in. He promised he'd stop and said that he wanted to stop. He overdosed in his sleep one night. It was the saddest thing I've personally ever gone through. He was so talented..wrote music, sang, played guitar, an artist. I remember him just being such a bright happy kid and then something happened..and he couldn't get away from it. He started with drinking and it was the hard stuff too..and everyone was embarrased that he was always drunk at 17 years old..and no one dealt with the problem. Then he graduated to the drugs, pills and coke and heroin. The week he died..he'd gotten a tattoo on his arm to hide the needle marks. His dad regrets it every single day that he didn't do more to help him. He says 'I was never good at tough love, he was my son and I didn't know what to do and now he's gone' He wishes he would have been tougher and confronted the problem.

I don't want to upset you, but I've seen what his family went through. We were affected by it and it just is senseless. Such a beautiful life is gone. Oh, I'm tearing up now..

Please convince your parents to get her the help she needs.


OMG, that makes me want to cry...that is so hearbreaking. By any chance, was there an article in the NY Times about him?


No, he actually lived in PA with his parents.


Oh, okay. I remember reading an article about this guy maybe around the same age. He was a struggling artist, played in a band and was just starting to become recognized. He struggled with some emotional issues. He spent a lot of time in his room. But, he ended up killing himself...it was such a sad story. I'm sorry you had to experience this. It makes you feel so helpless.


Oh, thats sad too. I hate hearing this like this. But, my cousin didn't kill himself on purpose..he OD'd accidentally.
Gigi08 Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help


Oh, thats sad too. I hate hearing this like this. But, my cousin didn't kill himself on purpose..he OD'd accidentally.


I'm sorry. It's just so sad. I don't remember who just said it, but it's true, it affects everyone involved
betani Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

like i mentioned.. she may not have a 'drug' problem but may be usign the drug to mask symptoms of OTHER things that are trubling her..

its easier to get drugs then it is to see a doctor and go through a series of test.. its immidiate gratification of what is trubling her...

liek i said.. it may be something ELSE goign on that you need to get to the guts of...

anything done for 21 days becomes habit...

its best to break the cycle NOW.


i agree. and the fact that she was even willing to go for a drug test means that even she is recognizing (whether she admits it or not) that she needs/wants help. i think that's pretty hopeful in and of itself because many people in the same situation would adamantly refuse. i hope it all works out well - you're doing the right thing.
chrispar Posted:

Re: Had to post under a different name - need your help

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please feel free to FM me with any questions. I have worked with substance abusers for many many years. I am not sure where you live but I can certainly help to find services in your area for your sis. Good Luck

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