I wanted to know how you limit/specify no kids at the wedding (except for wedding party). I'm talking little kids (under 12). If i allowed kids, we'd have about 20 kids under 15....not something I'd really want.
I also then have 2nd cousin triplets that are 22, but another one is only 11. Do I invite him?
Lastly...sticky issue: one of my bm's has been hinting how her kids (2 sons)have asked if they will be in the wedding party (they're not) & how they are looking so forward to the wedding & cannot wait to dance, etc. etc.
UMMMMMM, they are not invited. Yet I'm afraid when I mention this, that it is going to be major hard feelings. I'm also very close with the kids, but if I invited them, it would cause an awkward situation w/ certain 'family' members & kids. Also she lives far away & babysitting/etc. may be a concern.
What should I do?
janet
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Re: Handling Kids...? STicky situation
i would ket the child come, and if someone has a problem tell them she is paying for for her childs plate or something like that or someone cancelled at the last moment(babysitter) and had no choise but keep it quiet till the day of the wedding.... people will be so into you and might not even realize the child is there. good luck
BlondeJD
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Re: Handling Kids...? STicky situation
It's definitely a sticky situation because I know that you're not *supposed* to put 'no kids' or 'adults only' on the invite. So, here's what we're doing--we sent out STDs and gave a link to our website. On the section that talks about the ceremony and reception, we say something like 'unfortunately, due to space limitations, we will not be able to accomodate any children at the wedding. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.'
Next. on the invitation, it's only addressed to the people invited. Hopefully, they'll KNOW that only the people on the invite are the people invited, but just in case...we're doing the RSVP cards where people have to put the names of people attending. If we get back cards with any names of the kids, we'll just have to call them and explain that we're not having any children at the wedding.
When people hear that not even my 3 year old nephew is invited, they really can't get upset that my 10 year old 2nd cousin twice removed isn't invited, you know ?
This is certainly a lot of effort to keep children from the wedding isn't it?
MrsJ
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Re: Handling Kids...? STicky situation
We only had kids 12 and over. On our invitations we put the wording 'Please join us for an adult reception' and everyone understood, we didn't have any problems. I would invite the 11 yr old cousin becuase its so close to 12, but if anyone asks...the cousin is 12 LOL
I would say have the BMs kids come to the church only but if they live far away that's not really an option.
janet
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Re: Handling Kids...? STicky situation
forgot to add i had alot of kids at my wedding most where in the bp but i did have a few others, what i did was had a kids table and the really did stay out of the way the whole night, i also had 2 kids that worked with me at my daycamp who sat with them so they had someone there to watch over them and help them if they needed it! good luck!
Goldi1021
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Re: Handling Kids...? STicky situation
I am not a fan of having many young children at a formal function. I would also put 'adult reception to follow' on a response card. OR at least make sure you address your invitations specifically to include only your intended guests.
Tjay
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Re: Handling Kids...? STicky situation
I ran into problems with kids too. It is tough and you'll have to approach it very delicately and individually. The way you may handle one situation, may not be the same way you handle the next. I started talking about the Kid Factor way before the invites went out. I spoke about it openly with family and friends. I explained my feelings and left it at that. I mailed out the invites (without kids) and still ran into problems. I will say that single parents that are not married are harder to discuss the situation with, but, it is your wedding. The only reason why your friend is already impling for her kids to come is because she is afraid that you won't invite them, so, get it out in the open before the invite goes out. Plainly say ' I am sorry, but I am not inviting children and I know you are mad, but.......' Yes, people are not coming to my wedding because of the children and then others are because I gave them enough notice to get sitters. Either way it's tough. Trust your instincts and your FH's. As long as you guys feel the same way and are united in the decision it will be okay. GOOD LUCK (sorry for the long reply '
