Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Have you ever considered breaking it off?

There are so many of these posts now, and I'm just wondering how many of us have had these same feelings/problems?

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

I have had doubts about the Wedding but not about marrying him.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

It would be abnormal to not question such a commitment during the engagement stage, and is a healthy process...but cold feet is not the same as a full-on red flag sick feeling in the gut that something is not right.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

I guess I am abnormal because I never questioned the commitment part or any other part for that matter. My FI get's nervous but about all the money this is costing not about the marriage. I never once even considered breaking it off!

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

I have never had any doubts about marrying my FH, however the FIL's are another story.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

we have had our ups and downs during teh engagement but i didnt think we would ever call it off.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

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Posted by julz33

I have had doubts about the Wedding but not about marrying him.

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DITTO! Sometimes we think we should have run off with 10 of our close friends & family to an island. There's so much pressure & $$$ that gets in the way of a wedding day. We just try to stay focused & remember that no matter how much $, stress, or nervousness there is - at the end of the day we'll be married just the same.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

I have never questioned anything about the wedding or the commitment. But I can see where people may.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Just for the record is is COMPLETlY normal to have your doubts and to second guess things. For those who havent, thats AWESOME, but for those who have, dont feel bad you are very normal. I did alot during my engagement..I had cold feet, second thoughts, called it off, freaked out, but it wasnt dh I was concerned with, I had issues with marriage as a whole, so I asked around. I asked professional marriage counselors, I asked PHD;s and the advice I received was that its normal to second guess..its a lifelong commitment, of course you are going to wonder if you will grow apart, of course wyou will wonder if one of you will cheat. The reality is 50% of marriages end in divorce, its NORMAL to wonder if you will be one of those 50%. Its also normal to have fights during your engagment, some couples handle stress better than others and some are more into the whole wedding than others. Some's parents are paying for the weddng and they dont have to work three jobs to pay for it, so those couples may not have the same stress as another couple. EVERY couple is different. I had people tell me if you arent 100% sure, then dont do it...its ********..Thats the worst advice you can give..because it simply isnt true. believeing that is not allowing concerns into your relationship, when it is totally normal to have concerns. Each couple is at a different place in their relationship too, some live together, some have only been together a short time, it ALL plays a factor in your concerns and second thoughts. All of the cold feet I experienced was painful I scared teh crap out of DH, but now that we are married..its GREAT again, I m so glad we are married and our relationship is wonderful and back to nornal again.
I have to stress this becausewhen I was freaking out I received so so so many FM's from women on here who are nervous,...people just dont talk about it ..BUT ITS NORMAL!!!!

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Yes but not because I dont love him, it is because I do. His job keeps him away ALOT and I can handle it but I think to the future about the parent/teacher conferences, dance recitals, sports games, etc. that I will attend for the kids ALONE. That part breaks my heart but not enough to break up.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

I have the basic doubts, but the only time I seriously considered calling it off was a few months ago when my sister was in the hospital. He wasn't nearly as supportive as he should have been. The first night she went into the hospital was his twin brother's e-party. I told him to go to the party (that was from 6-9:30 pm) and I would go to the hospital (all the way in New Haven, Ct.). He stopped answering his cell after 11 and I knew he was out drinking with his friends. I got home at 6am and he still wasn't home. That behavior was, and is, unacceptable. That's the only time I couldn't picture myself marrying this man and it took me a good couple of weeks to get past it.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

yeah, we've had doubts...but they were always caused by the financial burden of the wedding...like if we put off the wedding for another year or eloped, we could move with less stress....and granted, although fh and i drive each other nuts, we adore each other, so doubts about the wedding or marriage even, are normal. but as i said, it usually falls into the money category that would cause doubts. if it weren't for the wedding, we could be buying a condo, perhaps.

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

No, I have never questioned FH ...I did have a moment when I wanted to elope!!!

Re: Have you ever considered breaking it off?

I think it's totally normal to have doubts. If you haven't consider yourself very lucky, but it all depends on the person and what is it that you have doubts about. Personally speaking I haven't had doubts in my feelings of love for my fiancee, but I'm a very practical person and sometimes other people in your family effect your thoughts. issues such as - is this person going to be a good provider for me and a family in the future? Sometimes parents or older siblings cast judgement and feel that you have to find someone that is already financially secure now who can get you a big house etc. now rather than later. But you have to priortize whats right for you, not what someone else feels is right for.