Honestly, FH and I were NOT on the same page when we first started talking about this. He wanted four kids and I wanted two. He also wanted to start much sooner than I did. We've since talked and compromised, and I think we are on the same page now. Just keep talking about it!!
I know eventually he will give in an do what i want - he always does - but it shouldn;t be that way when it comes to babies
I just wish for once in our lives we were on the same page
I think it's not really about him just doing what you want, but you guys legitimately compromising. If he wants to wait until thirty and you want to be done by then, maybe you compromise by starting at 28 or 29. If you really want the option of two, then ask him to not close that door until you have your first baby. Just see what you can do to have a conversation about it. I know it's a big deal, and it's stressful, but you will make it work!
iceprincess
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Re: Having Babies
My fh and i talked about it alotttttt mostly because hi mother was on major baby mode and was up his butt about having one that was all his sister , me and my fh heard lol ,plus it didnt help that alll my gfs were popping kids out left and right.
. I got preg a week after my fiance proposed to me ....lol we think it was cause my mind went from all my friends who were having babies to my wedding mode ...go figure. Well not to be a downer i lost the baby and now he wants one more then ever he is gonna be 37 this may and i just turned 30...so we are going to try until july authen holding out till after the wedding I so dont want to be a preg bride ....Fingers crossed it all works out.
LaurenJosh
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Re: Having Babies
Posted by 20mrsc10
i want babies now realistically im aware i should wait until i get a job, and get tenured..so prob 2 years after we get married. that time frame were on the same page
I feel the same way. I don't want to wait too long but I'm 30 and just finishing grad school right before the wedding. I should really wait to find a teaching job and get tenured first but who knows how old I'll be by then. I guess whatever is meant to be will happen.
MikesBride2B
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Re: Having Babies
We are on the same page. We both definitely want them, but FH has one already and he has sole custody so there's not as much of a rush. I want to finish my masters and we want to buy a house first. Probably in 3 or 4 years we'll start trying.
I sure hope I can wait for our plans to fall into place because I want to have his babies NOWWWWWW. I really want a little boy!!
iHeartMoogle
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Re: Having Babies
I go back and forth. FH is completely okay with waiting until he's 30 for kids (4 years from now), but doesn't want to be much older when we start. I go through phases. I want a baby sooooo badly, but at the same time, I'm very selfish. I like afternoon naps and doing things when I want to do them...I know as soon as I get preggers that will change. Still...not planning on it for at least 3 years!
JillandJoe
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Re: Having Babies
Joe and I want them yesterday... we have agreed to wait until at least a year after the wedding and he be settled into either a house or a two bedroom apartment before the first is born. If I had all then money in the world we would have had one before the wedding... we are head over heels about having kids!!
MrsC2010
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Re: Having Babies
we always say we dont wanna start till we are 30 (so about 3 1/2 - 4 years after the wedding) but ever since my sister had her baby i have gotten a little baby itch...fh has not! lol...i may have to push to start trying at 28
stinenandy2010
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Re: Having Babies
Yes and No....if I told FH I want a baby today, he would say DEFINITELY!!! He wants babies alot quicker then me. But we discussed it and we want to wait a few years, finish our home...save for a bigger home, our home is only big enough for one child.
The thing we disagree most on is who will watch our children. FH wants me to stay home, but I've spent too much on education and have worked so hard to get promotions, that I refuse to throw it all away. I would prefer to get a nanny, but FH thinks thats stupid....so its gonna have to be daycare, I just hope I can find a daycare that is small and personable....even something like a woman who watches a few kids in her house.
mzmahagony
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Re: Having Babies
yep..we are on the same page...we both are loving our freedom and are in no hurry....
NanandEric08
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Re: Having Babies
I think we are both on the same page, we want to wait until about 2 years after the wedding. We want to be able to travel and enjoy being newlyweds for a bit.
Ask me if we agree on the amount of kids we will be having and my answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT! He wants ATLEAST 5 kids and i think he is out of his mind. I want 3 TOPS! I love kids but they are expensive!
JenBill61210
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Re: Having Babies
FH and I want to wait at least a year before we start trying. We want to enjoy our newlywed bliss for a little bit at least!
Dean Bean
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Re: Having Babies
I just replied to a similar post...
My FH wants them right away, and I don't. We both still live with our parents and we're not moving in together until a few months before the wedding. I keep saying that I want to enjoy being married and living together for at least 2 years. I don't think he realizes that it is OVER after you have kids. We like to travel and we go out to dinner a few times a week, we will not be able to do that if I start having kids right away. I know that we will be starting a new chapter so please take the 'over' comment lightly, but I think you guys know what I mean. I'm just not in the mindframe to have a baby yet. If I follow the 2 years after marriage plan, I'll be about 28. I think that's a good age. I really don't think he has a choice in the matter though, I'm not coming off the pill LOL
Its2Snappy
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Re: Having Babies
FH and I are not really on the same page. I'm on the fence about having kids. FH wants them. I think that eventually I will too, but definitely not right now. I'm going to be 25 and going back to school for my PhD after the wedding. I don't even want to consider kids until I'm done with school and in a secure job. So, definitely not until my early 30s. I must be the oddball. LOL.
Sandradv121
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Re: Having Babies
We are totally on the same page. Which I am so happy about. Knock out the babies, get my body back before 32! Thats my goal lol!
cateydee
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Re: Having Babies
we both agree that we want them and neither of us can decide on when. we want them right away but we also want to travel a little bit. but since we'll be 30 by the time we're married, we dont wanna wait too long.
we disagreee on the number. he wants 2 and i want 3 or 4.
lol he takes a while to come around (it took him forever to propose!) so he told me 'when you're ready to have a baby just give me about 3 months notice so i can get used to the idea!'
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: Having Babies
We don't live together, and won't be until we're married...so we definitely want a few years of living together before we start trying. IF we do. We're both on the fence about it; we both have the same pros and cons in our minds when it comes to this. Not to mention my absolute terror at the thought of giving birth.
I'll be 28 and he's be 30 when we get married, so I think it's safe to say we're alright with waiting a few years.
soontobecruz
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Re: Having Babies
FH and I are somtimes on the same page and sometimes not. He always wanted like a million kids... I was thinking lets just have one or 2.... Then timing he wanted them right away... I was thinking maybe about 3-4years after we are married....
Recetly he has changed though he realizes 2 kids is obviously more reasonable. Also now he is putting it off longer. I am fine with it, however he doesn't totally get that the older you are the harder it is and more risk invilved.
So like I said we are kind of on the same page. I wouldn't panic just talk about it together calmly and compromise you will work it out.
beebs341
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Re: Having Babies
Posted by emc282rjm
Honestly, FH and I were NOT on the same page when we first started talking about this. He wanted four kids and I wanted two. He also wanted to start much sooner than I did. We've since talked and compromised, and I think we are on the same page now. Just keep talking about it!!
Same here. He wants to concieve on the HM and I'm like Hell No!!! But now we got it all figured out.
bridezilla2b
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Re: Having Babies
We are having them right away ... I ain't no spring chicken!
LMAO!
MayBride2010
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Re: Having Babies
Posted by JenBill61210
FH and I want to wait at least a year before we start trying. We want to enjoy our newlywed bliss for a little bit at least!
Agreed - and we both want 2. I will be 31 when we get married, and he will be 28. I do not want to wait any longer to start having children because at this rate I will be 33 with baby #1. He didnt get the whole age thing at first - but now he does!
