Are you and FH on the same page about when you are going to have them.
FH and I had a convo today about this and we are not at all - not even close - this really scares me that this is going to cause major problems in the future.
Is anyone else with me?
CloudNine
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
babies was something we spoke about before even getting engaged. i felt it was important to know where we stood before moving with our future. John already has 2 kids so i needed to be sure he wanted more since i want kids. he told me its up to me on the timing and that he is fine with whatever i decide.
DnT2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
we're both on the same page but we have had many conversations about it. i would say keep talking about it and hopefully you will come to a common ground.
20mrsc10
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
i want babies now realistically im aware i should wait until i get a job, and get tenured..so prob 2 years after we get married. that time frame were on the same page
depoc1011
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
we havent set a time frame per say...he knows i want to be aat a certain place in my career...and that i want to be a certain place financially...as well as having time to travel and what not...
RitasEngaged
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Member since
Re: Having Babies
Posted by CloudNine
babies was something we spoke about before even getting engaged. i felt it was important to know where we stood before moving with our future. John already has 2 kids so i needed to be sure he wanted more since i want kids. he told me its up to me on the timing and that he is fine with whatever i decide.
I kind of feel stupid that we really didn't discuss this more and i didn't know where we stood. It was such a struggle to get an engagement out of him i guess that is where most of our talks were about if he didn't want to here about the m word i sure as heck wasn't going to bring up the b word you know?
DnT2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
Posted by 20mrsc10
i want babies now realistically im aware i should wait until i get a job, and get tenured..so prob 2 years after we get married. that time frame were on the same page
i want babies now too.. and i should also wait til i get a job and tenure too. booooo
RitasEngaged
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
Posted by DnT2010
Posted by 20mrsc10
i want babies now realistically im aware i should wait until i get a job, and get tenured..so prob 2 years after we get married. that time frame were on the same page
i want babies now too.. and i should also wait til i get a job and tenure too. booooo
I want babies now too and only because i get this way every time i go to babies r us - i had to go there today
DnT2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
Posted by RitasEngaged
Posted by DnT2010
Posted by 20mrsc10
i want babies now realistically im aware i should wait until i get a job, and get tenured..so prob 2 years after we get married. that time frame were on the same page
i want babies now too.. and i should also wait til i get a job and tenure too. booooo
I want babies now too and only because i get this way every time i go to babies r us - i had to go there today
haha my sister is 6 months pregnant and i told her im going to steal her baby. and i keep buying sooo much stuff for him!!
emc282rjm
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
Honestly, FH and I were NOT on the same page when we first started talking about this. He wanted four kids and I wanted two. He also wanted to start much sooner than I did. We've since talked and compromised, and I think we are on the same page now. Just keep talking about it!!
RitasEngaged
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
Posted by emc282rjm
Honestly, FH and I were NOT on the same page when we first started talking about this. He wanted four kids and I wanted two. He also wanted to start much sooner than I did. We've since talked and compromised, and I think we are on the same page now. Just keep talking about it!!
I know eventually he will give in an do what i want - he always does - but it shouldn;t be that way when it comes to babies
I just wish for once in our lives we were on the same page
MarjorieFrank
Posted:
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Re: Having Babies
We are on the same page! I LOVE talking about babies
CloudNine
Posted:
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Re: Having Babies
rita dont feel stupid. babies are a big deal and its scary...especially for guys. you said it took some talk to get the marriage thing going so do the wedding thing first..let him see how great it is, nothing to be afraid of or worried about and then take on the baby talk. guys can get overwhelmed quickly ya know and be turned off by ideas.
he'll come around i think, especially if you wait it out a bit
Future Mrs H
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
We had a conversation that lasted all of 5 min. Do you want them?- no Do you want them? no Totally agreed upon.
For those of you who dont know- its not that we are being selfish- its just that I am 46 yrs old- when I get married I will be almost 48. i am afraid at that age, its very risky and I cant see me dealing with a teenager at 65 yrs old.
LadyC23
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
Posted by DnT2010
Posted by 20mrsc10
i want babies now realistically im aware i should wait until i get a job, and get tenured..so prob 2 years after we get married. that time frame were on the same page
i want babies now too.. and i should also wait til i get a job and tenure too. booooo
All of three of us are in the same boat. However, FH and I are on the same page when it comes to babies. We both can not wait to become parents.
RitasEngaged
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
Posted by CloudNine
rita dont feel stupid. babies are a big deal and its scary...especially for guys. you said it took some talk to get the marriage thing going so do the wedding thing first..let him see how great it is, nothing to be afraid of or worried about and then take on the baby talk. guys can get overwhelmed quickly ya know and be turned off by ideas.
he'll come around i think, especially if you wait it out a bit
Yeah that is very true and i understand completely what you are saying
I just makes me upset that we are so far off from each other
CloudNine
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
Posted by RitasEngaged
Posted by CloudNine
rita dont feel stupid. babies are a big deal and its scary...especially for guys. you said it took some talk to get the marriage thing going so do the wedding thing first..let him see how great it is, nothing to be afraid of or worried about and then take on the baby talk. guys can get overwhelmed quickly ya know and be turned off by ideas.
he'll come around i think, especially if you wait it out a bit
Yeah that is very true and i understand completely what you are saying
I just makes me upset that we are so far off from each other
whats far off? what kinda time frame are you two discussing?
Alexandra17
Posted:
Member since
Re: Having Babies
We talk about them more and more but then I am like well...I want one now! the mood passes and we get back to the same page. I think I just get pangs of want bc my friends are having them. I want to be pregnant at 29 so that I can have the wedding chaos behind me for a full year.
SummerBride10
Posted:
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Re: Having Babies
For the most part we're on the same page. I think I'd rather have them a little sooner than him...but I'm willing to wait.
Lsorrent
Posted:
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Re: Having Babies
We're on the same page. We're going to wait probably a year or two before we start.
I told him I'd like to be done having children by the time I'm 33. Just my personal preference. That will give me 5 years after we get married to have 2 or 3 children. Probably 2.