HELP!

I have no idea what to do...we went to see the Watermill on Sunday and instantly fell in love and decided to have the ceremony and reception there.
Monday morning my FH tells me that he wants to get married in a church. I am not opposed to a church but I had always said that if I got married in a church it has to be my church (which is in Brooklyn)
The Watermill is in Smithtown which is about an hour and 15 mins from my church (assuming there is no traffic...but there is always traffic)

I am not sure how much time will be in between the ceremony and reception yet.

My concerns are...
is this too far for guests to travel?
how much time do I need in between the ceremony and reception?
do you think I am being unreasonable, wanting to have the ceremony in my church instead on a random one near the Watermill?

Another major concern is that I get the feeling his sudden change of heart was somehow influenced by my FMIL.

WHAT DO I DO?!?

Anything is possible!!! If you want to get married in your church and that means something to you, than do it!!!

I was in a wedding and the church was in Brooklyn and the hall was JT... we were stuck in traffic for an hour, and we still made it for pictures and the whole cocktail hour... you just have to plan accordingly. Make sure there is at least 2 hours between your church and cocktail hour....do not worry about everyone else, just worry about yourself... ITS YOUR DAY!!!!!

I am going to go completely opposite here and say....

Are you crazy? You're guests will not be very happy if they have to travel all that distance in between. Put yourself in their shoes. Unless you are comfy with a ton of no shows at the ceremony, then have it at your church. If that bother you, then I suggest you have it close to the watermill.

Yes, it is your day, you do what you want, blah blah blah... BUT you have to consider your guests too... Otherwise, I see that as extremely selfish!

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I am going to go completely opposite here and say....

Are you crazy? You're guests will not be very happy if they have to travel all that distance in between. Put yourself in their shoes. Unless you are comfy with a ton of no shows at the ceremony, then have it at your church. If that bother you, then I suggest you have it close to the watermill.

Yes, it is your day, you do what you want, blah blah blah... BUT you have to consider your guests too... Otherwise, I see that as extremely selfish!

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i have to agree with you here mazz my dear.

if you are that in love with the watermill, you need to prioritize. Which is more important to you? Is FHs church closer to the watermill than yours? If so...you may have to sacrifice it. You were willing to sacrifice the church to get married at the hall... i know that its 'YOUR DAY' and stuff.. but a big thing for me, especially since im having my wedding in a different state, i really need to make the trip as comfortable for my guests as possible... i KNOW they wouldnt want to drive that long to get from the ceremony to the reception... and then home again. Where are all the people coming from?

I dont think its a good idea to have the ceremony and reception that far apart, even if there is plenty of time in between, but its true, it is YOUR day..

Sorry If I sound like a b*tch, but 1 cannot always be thinking of just oneself. You're planning a party for 100, 150, 200 guests. You want to try to accomodate *most* of them (you cant please everyone of course)

In my case, I have hardly any LI fam, but I wanted the wedding out there. I loveeeee some of the places out in suffolk, but I'm not going to make my guests travel so far. To me that's inconsiderate... So I narrowed it down to RH's that are really at the beginning of Nassau. I wanted to look at CLM sooooo badly, but it's 45 mins from my house alone which semed too far for both me & all my traveling guests

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Posted by mdawg

i have to agree with you here mazz my dear.

if you are that in love with the watermill, you need to prioritize. Which is more important to you? Is FHs church closer to the watermill than yours? If so...you may have to sacrifice it. You were willing to sacrifice the church to get married at the hall... i know that its 'YOUR DAY' and stuff.. but a big thing for me, especially since im having my wedding in a different state, i really need to make the trip as comfortable for my guests as possible... i KNOW they wouldnt want to drive that long to get from the ceremony to the reception... and then home again. Where are all the people coming from?

I dont think its a good idea to have the ceremony and reception that far apart, even if there is plenty of time in between, but its true, it is YOUR day..

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I agree with the prioritizing!!!! Def ask yourself which is more important to you... Or maybe talk it over with FH and maybe you can go back to a simple life where the church is out of the equation again

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

Sorry If I sound like a b*tch, but 1 cannot always be thinking of just oneself. You're planning a party for 100, 150, 200 guests. You want to try to accomodate *most* of them (you cant please everyone of course)

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You do not sound like a b*tch at all.... it is very nice of you to be so considerate to your guests.

No matter what you chose to do, someone will still complain and have something to say. I have a problem that I try to make everyone else happy and I am the one that is miserable, so for my wedding I am taking a different approach and I am going to do what makes me happy... i know that is selfish, but this is the one day that really is my day, ya know? Now I don't mean to sound like a b*tch....

I agree with conviencing the guests...thats why we planned to have it at the RH. The only reason why we concidered the Watermill is because we decided to take the church ceremony out of the equation.
Originally we had planned on the ceremony being in my church and the reception being somewhere much closer (like Queens/Nassau area)

I am willing to change our plans so that we can both be happy but my FH doesn't want to change the RH (we haven't signed the contract or made the deposit yet...its due Saturday)

Thanks for your advise girls! (But I am still so confused!)

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Posted by FinallyEngaged

You do not sound like a b*tch at all.... it is very nice of you to be so considerate to your guests.

No matter what you chose to do, someone will still complain and have something to say. I have a problem that I try to make everyone else happy and I am the one that is miserable, so for my wedding I am taking a different approach and I am going to do what makes me happy... i know that is selfish, but this is the one day that really is my day, ya know? Now I don't mean to sound like a b*tch....

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Of course... someone always has something to say... Like I said you cant please everyone. I am sure some people arent going to be happy that I chose a sunday wedding, but at least i'm considerate enough to have it end in the middle of the day so people have enough time to get back home and relax so then can get to work the next day. So I tried to find a middle ground... I think thats very important factor in making both you and your guests happy!!

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by FinallyEngaged

You do not sound like a b*tch at all.... it is very nice of you to be so considerate to your guests.

No matter what you chose to do, someone will still complain and have something to say. I have a problem that I try to make everyone else happy and I am the one that is miserable, so for my wedding I am taking a different approach and I am going to do what makes me happy... i know that is selfish, but this is the one day that really is my day, ya know? Now I don't mean to sound like a b*tch....

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Of course... someone always has something to say... Like I said you cant please everyone. I am sure some people arent going to be happy that I chose a sunday wedding, but at least i'm considerate enough to have it end in the middle of the day so people have enough time to get back home and relax so then can get to work the next day. So I tried to find a middle ground... I think thats very important factor in making both you and your guests happy!!

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Yes, that is true on having a middle ground..

I would not be upset at all about a Sunday wedding... no matter how late it ran... u having an after party for people like me who like to party!?!?!?!

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Posted by FinallyEngaged

Yes, that is true on having a middle ground..

I would not be upset at all about a Sunday wedding... no matter how late it ran... u having an after party for people like me who like to party!?!?!?!

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I figured whoever wants to leave after its over, can just go... And theres plenty of time after for those that want to continue the party... Def have to have an after party

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by FinallyEngaged

Yes, that is true on having a middle ground..

I would not be upset at all about a Sunday wedding... no matter how late it ran... u having an after party for people like me who like to party!?!?!?!

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I figured whoever wants to leave after its over, can just go... And theres plenty of time after for those that want to continue the party... Def have to have an after party

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I went to a Sunday wedding a couple of years ago, and we all went to a bar that was down the block from the hall, and it was right on the water, it was beautiful.... the funniest thing was the fact that the bride stayed in her dress at the Bar!!! I wish I had some pictures to show you, but the Bar pictures came out better than the ones at the hall!!!

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Posted by mdawg

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I am going to go completely opposite here and say....

Are you crazy? You're guests will not be very happy if they have to travel all that distance in between. Put yourself in their shoes. Unless you are comfy with a ton of no shows at the ceremony, then have it at your church. If that bother you, then I suggest you have it close to the watermill.

Yes, it is your day, you do what you want, blah blah blah... BUT you have to consider your guests too... Otherwise, I see that as extremely selfish!

---

i have to agree with you here mazz my dear.

if you are that in love with the watermill, you need to prioritize. Which is more important to you? Is FHs church closer to the watermill than yours? If so...you may have to sacrifice it. You were willing to sacrifice the church to get married at the hall... i know that its 'YOUR DAY' and stuff.. but a big thing for me, especially since im having my wedding in a different state, i really need to make the trip as comfortable for my guests as possible... i KNOW they wouldnt want to drive that long to get from the ceremony to the reception... and then home again. Where are all the people coming from?

I dont think its a good idea to have the ceremony and reception that far apart, even if there is plenty of time in between, but its true, it is YOUR day..

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I totally agree with them