I am newly engaged and was so exicted. Yesterday, my FH and my parents went to reception hall to start checking things out. This was our first place we went to. My FH started freaking out. He was sweating and acting nasty. It was a side I haven't seen before. Afterwards, we talked it out and basically reality kind of set in for him. He got really nervous and scared. He says he is ok now. However, now my parens are upset and think we should wait it out. They are really concerned. I want him to call and apologize to them.
I am so upset and really don't know what to do. This is suppose to be 'happy times' for us.
Any suggestions???
purplerain
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I really feel for you, I think you just need to talk it through with him, only you two can decide on the right thing to do. Good luck x
jaep129
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I would let him know that your parents are upset and try to work things out.
kat124
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I would look at everything surrounding the person he is and the couple you are before making any harsh decisions.
Look at whether he has a fear of commitment (how long have you been dating? How long did it take him to propose?) Is his fear of commitment over all, or is it of committing to you?
It may be a sign that he is not ready for this yet, or simply that his pocket is not ready. Look at everything...then make a decision.
My FH is afraid of commitment of any kind (seeing the word contract on when he got his last cellphone made him sweat!) but that didnt mean he wasnt ready to commit to me.
Good luck
sweetdoublenn
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I would take 24 hrs for things to calm down! But he had a moment..I think you two should talk things out and then tell him that your parents are upset and take it from there. Personally, I would have him apologize to your parents!
stinenandy2010
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Thanks girls! I am just feeling so down. I don't think its a fear of committment because we live together and have been dating for 3 1/2 years now. I think he's just scared of what the future holds or something...
Thanks again, I just need a drink!
jonsgirl04
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Yeah i would sit down and talk to him. Just one word of advice, it may be better for just the two of you to go alone! It makes it a better experience. Sometime when parents are there it can get stressful or upsetting. Maybe thats what happened to your FH. When you find the right place then bring your parents. Good Luck!
ligirlz
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Posted by jonsgirl04
Yeah i would sit down and talk to him. Just one word of advice, it may be better for just the two of you to go alone! It makes it a better experience. Sometime when parents are there it can get stressful or upsetting. Maybe thats what happened to your FH. When you find the right place then bring your parents. Good Luck!
ITA when we were first engaged we went and looked at everything ourselves and then brought the parents to see ones we narrowed down.
He probably just had a moment and didn't mean for it to look the way it did. Try talking to him to see if you can calm his nerves down. He sounds nervous. Good luck with planning!!
Sharron70
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I think my FH is feeling a little hot under the collar as well. It's not because he doesn't want to commit to me, I think he's just nervous about 'Now we have to actually grow up!'
We've been living together for almost 3 years but I think a time like this is like 'this is it! no turning back'.
He could have just gotten a bit overwhelmed. There are some FH's that are really into the whole planning thing and there are some (like mine) who really only care about a few things and have NO concept of what all of this is going to cost.
CMS
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I really wouldn't sweat it...it may just be a 'Wow! We're really doing this' kind of moment and that's just the way he dealt with it.
When FH and me started looking at RH's I was the one who started getting chest pains and had trouble breathing.
it had nothing to do with not wanting to get married as much as it was, 'You expect to pay HOW much for a piece of chicken?'
Christine N Ralph
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I would talk to him...feel him out...He probably got nervous because of this huge decision you are both making...I have to tell you that fh and I bicker about a lot of things now, being engaged is a very happy time, but it is also stressful! I didnt expect it to be like this but this is reality...As long as he loves you and wants to get married...then you dont have any problems. I would also go to look at a few halls by yourselves...see how that works out
stinenandy2010
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Thanks so much everyone. We are going to a few halls ourselves but I feel like I am leaving out my parents. Does anyone else feel like that??
krisa1129
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I know I started freakinggg out at the prices at the RH halls, so I am not sure if that is what he is nervous about, or it is just it is hitting him that this is really happening. I would talk to him after things calm down, and tell him your fears. We went looking by ourselves, and when we narrowed it down we included the parents. It is our decision ultimately, but I wanted feed back from them. Good luck...and just communicate with him.
HamptonsBride
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Posted by cfriedrich23
Thanks so much everyone. We are going to a few halls ourselves but I feel like I am leaving out my parents. Does anyone else feel like that??
Why not take your parents to return to ones you really like and are considering if you feel you are leaving them out....as for your FH freaking out...there will be a variety of people acting 'out of the ordinary' during the process...it's not all fun...wish it was...but hang in there!
MrsLarrea2B
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What exactly did he do so bad that made your parents upset or that he should apologize for? Maybe he was overwhelmed at the price? I know FH was sweating balls when we signed our contractc, he kept saying...'you sure we could afford this???'
PreshusSmurf
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Posted by HamptonsBride
Posted by cfriedrich23
Thanks so much everyone. We are going to a few halls ourselves but I feel like I am leaving out my parents. Does anyone else feel like that??
Why not take your parents to return to ones you really like and are considering if you feel you are leaving them out....as for your FH freaking out...there will be a variety of people acting 'out of the ordinary' during the process...it's not all fun...wish it was...but hang in there!
This is what we did.
DH & I visited about 8 halls just the 2 of us, and narrowed it down to the top 2 choices.
We then brought both sets of parents back to see the top 2, and get their feedback.
But the final decision was made between DH & I, after talking it over with our parents.
PegaLega
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I know im not in the majority here-but I dont think there is any reason for him to apologize to your parents. The whole wedding planning process can really freak people out-its a natural response. I dont think it warrants an apology-unless there is something else going on. If he had a moment then he had a moment
ETA: I would go just the 2 of you to different halls, once you have decided on your top 3 or 4 or 5 then bring your parents along with you
FutureMrsCarrieri
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I think if this was out of character then he just had a 'moment'. He should however, apologize to your parents. Not for being human and feeling scared but for anything nasty he might have said. He may not feel like he has anything to apologize for but sometimes you have to suck it up, be mature and smooth those ruffled feathers.
good luck
PS my FH had sticker shock too, lol
stinenandy2010
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Thanks so much everyone! I realy love this website already because of all the support and advice. Its really great!
He apologized last night. We told my parents we are going to go by ourselves and then bring them back. I think they just want to be involved in everything since they are paying for everything. Which is understandable but it is overwhelming. Plus, I'm the first to be getting married. So everything is very new!!!
Thanks again!
roan126
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Just remember that this is a very emotional time for everyone involved. You just got engaged! I remember I was hysterical crying on the phone to my sister the day after I got engaged, because I was upset about something my mother said. So things seem magnified right now, but as you said, you already spoke to your FH about it and once things return to normal, everthing will be fine.
