Are you sure FH's parents are not willing to help? Has anyone asked them? Can FH say something casually like 'so we were trying to do the wedding budget and we would like to know if we can count on any help form you.'
If they are not going to help, and FH doesn't care, then you are under no obligation to put their names on the invite.
The problem I am having is that my parents are giving way more than FH's family can afford. So, It's basically my parents, plus FH and I, with a small contribution from his parents. So, I'm torn with how to word it, simply because his mom is so wonderful and there is a lot more than just who is paying for it to take into consideration.
If my FH's parents were sweethearts and meant well and simply couldn't contribute then trust me it wouldn't come down to this. But the fact is, they spend so much money on their other kids but for some reason when it comes to my FH, they never want to pay for anything and I think they just sort of rely on my parents because they know my parents will be there if I need them and that they will come through. And I have asked him to casually bring it up and he says he will but he hasn't and that also annoys me. But at the same time, they aren't kids, like shouldn't they offer themselves? Does it take an idiot to figure out that your son is getting married and you should contribute? I mean I'm not even asking for a lot- anything would help even if it was just the RD or the DJ or one thing out of a million things which in the grand scheme of a wedding is nothing. I'm just annoyed- as you can see I'm rambling again.
JoanneAndJustin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help!
Posted by mohajeriny
Posted by TheLadyJ
Are you sure FH's parents are not willing to help? Has anyone asked them? Can FH say something casually like 'so we were trying to do the wedding budget and we would like to know if we can count on any help form you.'
If they are not going to help, and FH doesn't care, then you are under no obligation to put their names on the invite.
The problem I am having is that my parents are giving way more than FH's family can afford. So, It's basically my parents, plus FH and I, with a small contribution from his parents. So, I'm torn with how to word it, simply because his mom is so wonderful and there is a lot more than just who is paying for it to take into consideration.
If my FH's parents were sweethearts and meant well and simply couldn't contribute then trust me it wouldn't come down to this. But the fact is, they spend so much money on their other kids but for some reason when it comes to my FH, they never want to pay for anything and I think they just sort of rely on my parents because they know my parents will be there if I need them and that they will come through. And I have asked him to casually bring it up and he says he will but he hasn't and that also annoys me. But at the same time, they aren't kids, like shouldn't they offer themselves? Does it take an idiot to figure out that your son is getting married and you should contribute? I mean I'm not even asking for a lot- anything would help even if it was just the RD or the DJ or one thing out of a million things which in the grand scheme of a wedding is nothing. I'm just annoyed- as you can see I'm rambling again.
You are in fact, living my life. FH has two younger brothers that get a lot more than FH does. I did bring it up... but it wasn't worth the struggle and the disappointment it caused FH. His father 'doesn't believe in big weddings' and mom lives in FL, so I cut her some slack on the planning...
It's not really about the money it's about offering to contribute your time, your thoughts, etc. FH and I are busting our azzes to pay for this wedding ... and all they do is complain.... just shut up!!
mohajeriny
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help!
Posted by JoanneAndJustin
Posted by mohajeriny
Posted by TheLadyJ
Are you sure FH's parents are not willing to help? Has anyone asked them? Can FH say something casually like 'so we were trying to do the wedding budget and we would like to know if we can count on any help form you.'
If they are not going to help, and FH doesn't care, then you are under no obligation to put their names on the invite.
The problem I am having is that my parents are giving way more than FH's family can afford. So, It's basically my parents, plus FH and I, with a small contribution from his parents. So, I'm torn with how to word it, simply because his mom is so wonderful and there is a lot more than just who is paying for it to take into consideration.
If my FH's parents were sweethearts and meant well and simply couldn't contribute then trust me it wouldn't come down to this. But the fact is, they spend so much money on their other kids but for some reason when it comes to my FH, they never want to pay for anything and I think they just sort of rely on my parents because they know my parents will be there if I need them and that they will come through. And I have asked him to casually bring it up and he says he will but he hasn't and that also annoys me. But at the same time, they aren't kids, like shouldn't they offer themselves? Does it take an idiot to figure out that your son is getting married and you should contribute? I mean I'm not even asking for a lot- anything would help even if it was just the RD or the DJ or one thing out of a million things which in the grand scheme of a wedding is nothing. I'm just annoyed- as you can see I'm rambling again.
You are in fact, living my life. FH has two younger brothers that get a lot more than FH does. I did bring it up... but it wasn't worth the struggle and the disappointment it caused FH. His father 'doesn't believe in big weddings' and mom lives in FL, so I cut her some slack on the planning...
It's not really about the money it's about offering to contribute your time, your thoughts, etc. FH and I are busting our azzes to pay for this wedding ... and all they do is complain.... just shut up!!
Could not agree more! It's ok i'm not letting anyone ruin my day and neither should you! Just look at the bigger picture- you're getting married, that's what I keep telling myself when I get upset.
