Help!

Hey everyone! OK so I'm kind of having a little problem. Me and FH and my parent's are basically splitting the cost for the whole wedding while FH's family isn't paying for sh*t. They didn't even offer anything at all and they are the kind of people that just basically will show up, have a good time like strangers and leave as if they were any other guest. SO my question is: When writing my invitations, do I put their names on there too? I really don't want to unless a miracle happens and they decide to pay for something (highly doubt it). I know if I even think of putting their names my mom will get annoyed and I really don't blame her because it is an annoying situation when someone sees their son getting married (which is supposed to be the biggest day of your life) and doesn't offer even a penny!

OK so this turned to be more like a rant rather than a question but it's getting on my nerves so I just had to know if I'm being ridiculous or if I have a right to lash out this way? Thanks guyss!

I would do something like

Mr. and Mrs. XXXX
are proud to anounce the marriage of their daughter
(((( your hot *** self here)
to
(your hot *** fiance!)

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Posted by Kimbalina

I would do something like

Mr. and Mrs. XXXX
are proud to anounce the marriage of their daughter
(((( your hot *** self here)
to
(your hot *** fiance!)

---

I agree. I would this as well.

I was in the same situation as you, but I did put their names on it. Funny thing is I didn't want to put their names on it, but my mom said it wouldn't be right not to so I did. Mine looked like this:


Mr. and Mrs. (my parents)
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter

(my name)
to
(DH's name)

son of Mr. and Mrs. (DH's parents)

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Posted by Kimbalina

I would do something like

Mr. and Mrs. XXXX
are proud to anounce the marriage of their daughter
(((( your hot *** self here)
to
(your hot *** fiance!)

---

I agree too. I'm pretty sure the 'rule' on invitation wording is that you're only supposed to mention parents by name if they are paying/throwing the party. I'm in the same boat as your are. No way are my FH's parents getting mentioned on our invites if they're not paying for squat!

I am more or less in the same boat as you. They really didn't offer any help,but FH dad did say that if we ever need any help to let them know. But, I have a feeling that we may have to end up paying them back. Theymay not accept the money back, but we still need to offer it... which I don't think we should have to do at all.
We are still up in the air about if we will put their names on the invite... FH wants to either way, but I don't since they aren't offering...

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Posted by Dani777

I am more or less in the same boat as you. They really didn't offer any help,but FH dad did say that if we ever need any help to let them know. But, I have a feeling that we may have to end up paying them back. Theymay not accept the money back, but we still need to offer it... which I don't think we should have to do at all.
We are still up in the air about if we will put their names on the invite... FH wants to either way, but I don't since they aren't offering...

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i know how you feel- like why should you have to ask? their son is getting married- shouldn't they wanna contribute?? UGH so annoying!

I think the main reason that I wouldn't want to put my FH's parents on our invite is that I want my parents to get recognition for all that they're doing because they certainly didn't have to give us anything.

We're a long way off from invites though so who knows what kind of drama will arise by then!

What does FH say? Will he be mad if his parents are left off of the invite?

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Posted by mmm117

I think the main reason that I wouldn't want to put my FH's parents on our invite is that I want my parents to get recognition for all that they're doing because they certainly didn't have to give us anything.

We're a long way off from invites though so who knows what kind of drama will arise by then!

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ITA, but ended up putting it on as I stated in pp.

we paid for our wedding ourselves & i still listed our parents names...

Bride &
Groom
along with their parents
Mr & Mrs Jones
and
Ms. Smith
and
Mr. Smith (divorced)
wish to invite you to share in their joy as they marry one another

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Posted by TheLadyJ

What does FH say? Will he be mad if his parents are left off of the invite?

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He doesn't care because he understands where I'm coming from because as another girl said on here- I want my parents to get recognition for all the things they've done and I told him that and I think it's unfair to just list his parents too who did nothing because then they will be getting recognition from people who will think they did so much for us when they did nothing and that bothers me. He was like that's fine do whatever you want- he's really laid back but I still feel kinda bad. At the same time- I'm furious at the situation- that they wouldn't even offer anything and I guess that I feel like my only way to get back is to keep them out of the invites haha.

What would I do in this situation:

Bride's Mom: Contributing
Bride's Dad: Deceased
Groom's Mom & Groom's Stepdad: Not Contributing
Groom's Dad& Groom's Stepmom: Also Not Contributing

We're pretty much paying for it ourselves since I FEEL HORRIBLE HORRIBLE that my mom is the only one offering a gift, so I'm trying to refuse it until after the wedding.

Don't even get me started that FH has 4 parents that aren't doing anything and my mom is breaking her back to help. Coming with us to appointments, etc. I've resigned myself to putting their names on the invitation but I want my mom to get top billing and I want my dad to be mentioned on there without being morbid.

Thank God it's so far away... I just want an idea of how to handle this drama when it comes up.

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Posted by dimples092907

I was in the same situation as you, but I did put their names on it. Funny thing is I didn't want to put their names on it, but my mom said it wouldn't be right not to so I did. Mine looked like this:


Mr. and Mrs. (my parents)
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter

(my name)
to
(DH's name)

son of Mr. and Mrs. (DH's parents)

---

That's what I would do if I were you. Even though my parents paid for almost everything, we actually ended up putting both parents up top b/c it looked and sounded better on our actual invite. I gave my parents the final say though since they were the ones paying. DH's parents did pay for RD, day-after brunch, OOT bags, OOT guest shuttle though, so it's not like they didn't do anything for us!

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Posted by JoanneAndJustin

What would I do in this situation:

Bride's Mom: Contributing
Bride's Dad: Deceased
Groom's Mom & Groom's Stepdad: Not Contributing
Groom's Dad& Groom's Stepmom: Also Not Contributing

We're pretty much paying for it ourselves since I FEEL HORRIBLE HORRIBLE that my mom is the only one offering a gift, so I'm trying to refuse it until after the wedding.

Don't even get me started that FH has 4 parents that aren't doing anything and my mom is breaking her back to help. Coming with us to appointments, etc. I've resigned myself to putting their names on the invitation but I want my mom to get top billing and I want my dad to be mentioned on there without being morbid.

Thank God it's so far away... I just want an idea of how to handle this drama when it comes up.

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OMG SAME HERE. WOW you are my life story haha.

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Posted by Snick n Nick

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Posted by dimples092907

I was in the same situation as you, but I did put their names on it. Funny thing is I didn't want to put their names on it, but my mom said it wouldn't be right not to so I did. Mine looked like this:


Mr. and Mrs. (my parents)
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter

(my name)
to
(DH's name)

son of Mr. and Mrs. (DH's parents)

---

That's what I would do if I were you. Even though my parents paid for almost everything, we actually ended up putting both parents up top b/c it looked and sounded better on our actual invite. I gave my parents the final say though since they were the ones paying. DH's parents did pay for RD, day-after brunch, OOT bags, OOT guest shuttle though, so it's not like they didn't do anything for us!

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If they offered to do all that it would be like a huge contribution knowing them and I'd be happy with that! But not EVEN! Anything helps i'm sure you all know!

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Posted by mohajeriny

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Posted by JoanneAndJustin

What would I do in this situation:

Bride's Mom: Contributing
Bride's Dad: Deceased
Groom's Mom & Groom's Stepdad: Not Contributing
Groom's Dad& Groom's Stepmom: Also Not Contributing

We're pretty much paying for it ourselves since I FEEL HORRIBLE HORRIBLE that my mom is the only one offering a gift, so I'm trying to refuse it until after the wedding.

Don't even get me started that FH has 4 parents that aren't doing anything and my mom is breaking her back to help. Coming with us to appointments, etc. I've resigned myself to putting their names on the invitation but I want my mom to get top billing and I want my dad to be mentioned on there without being morbid.

Thank God it's so far away... I just want an idea of how to handle this drama when it comes up.

---

OMG SAME HERE. WOW you are my life story haha.

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We're getting married in the same place too, only a year apart!! I can't talk about it with FH he only gets upset, so it is what it is... but still... It irks me every damn day.

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Posted by JoanneAndJustin

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Posted by mohajeriny

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Posted by JoanneAndJustin

What would I do in this situation:

Bride's Mom: Contributing
Bride's Dad: Deceased
Groom's Mom & Groom's Stepdad: Not Contributing
Groom's Dad& Groom's Stepmom: Also Not Contributing

We're pretty much paying for it ourselves since I FEEL HORRIBLE HORRIBLE that my mom is the only one offering a gift, so I'm trying to refuse it until after the wedding.

Don't even get me started that FH has 4 parents that aren't doing anything and my mom is breaking her back to help. Coming with us to appointments, etc. I've resigned myself to putting their names on the invitation but I want my mom to get top billing and I want my dad to be mentioned on there without being morbid.

Thank God it's so far away... I just want an idea of how to handle this drama when it comes up.

---

OMG SAME HERE. WOW you are my life story haha.

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We're getting married in the same place too, only a year apart!! I can't talk about it with FH he only gets upset, so it is what it is... but still... It irks me every damn day.

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Oh my gosh, I didn't even realize we were getting married at the same place! It's ok we will get through it- it's our day and it's gonna be great no matter what- but until then, the little cr*p like this is bound to get to us!

Are you sure FH's parents are not willing to help? Has anyone asked them? Can FH say something casually like 'so we were trying to do the wedding budget and we would like to know if we can count on any help form you.'

If they are not going to help, and FH doesn't care, then you are under no obligation to put their names on the invite.

The problem I am having is that my parents are giving way more than FH's family can afford. So, It's basically my parents, plus FH and I, with a small contribution from his parents. So, I'm torn with how to word it, simply because his mom is so wonderful and there is a lot more than just who is paying for it to take into consideration.