HELP! (and a RANT and a VENT!!) Friend angry about not being invited to wedding!

Hi ladies, I hope some of you can help me, or at least give me a little input into what you think of my situation. this is so really horrible, and i'm kinda at a loss.


I hope I'm not the only one who has had a very hard time deciding who to invite to my wedding.


I do hope, however that not many of you have actually been treated cruelly and received unkind words from someone because they aren't being invited to the wedding.


Basically, this is the simple wrap up.

I have a best friend (Jen) who has a best friend (Carol) who is an aquaintance of mine. We went to high school together (8 years ago), but the only reason we have even spoken or hung out in the past year is because she is friend's with Jen, and has come along when we hang out together. (which is a total of 5 times in the past 4 years.)


There's been something uncomfortable in the air for the past few months from my friend Jen, but she has said not a word to me and when I try to talk to her or make plans with her, she says she can't make it, or had other plans, etc.


So the **** hit the fan when they were going out for Carol's birthday and I wanted to come out (of course i would like to, I had no idea there was a problem happening) and mine and Jen's mutual friend (also my best friend) Anne called me to tell me (because Jen placed her in the middle and made her call because she wouldn't and Anne didn't want to leave me hanging about going out that night) that Jen and Carol decided they didn't want me coming out for Carol's birthday because, and i quote 'You shouldn't be invited out for her birthday if she isn't invited to your wedding.'


I guess that's why I wasn't invited out for my best friend Jen's birthday either, the week before.


The irony is that Carol wasn't not invited to my wedding. She was on the hypothetical 'b-list'. How she found out? Guess Jen decided to disregard her best friend's feelings and tell her. But the most ridiculous thing is that she was most likely going to be invited to the wedding, but I was just playing it safe.



So i am just plainly disgusted by this, and disgusted by Jen, who is supposed to be a good friend of mine. There has always been problems between Jen and I, almost as if she thrives off it -- and never in my life have I ever had a problem or fight with any other family or friends, i'm very easy to get along with. It has only ever been problems with Jen. We would not talk to years at a time, and then I would always go back to her like an idiot.


After this, it just feels so thoughtless and inconsiderate, I really decided that I want nothing to do with Jen or Carol anymore. I'm an adult and have no time or energy for this selfish irrationality.


I decided the best thing to do is to write a letter to my friend Jen. (I would call her, but I'm not the best at confrontation, i get flustered and upset and can't articulate myself at alllll -- but being able to write everything down clearly seemed to be my best bet).



I'm sorry this post is so long!!!! I guess this is more of a rant than a vent!


*****update******

I decided to delete the letter from the forum! I appreciate soooo much all the time and thought that all you have put into this post.

I think that even if there's the smallest chance that they catch wind of this letter on here, there will be more reasons for these people to try to cause more problems -- and i really just don't want them to have a reason to have contact with me anymore!


Thank you all again for your support in this. I absolutely needed that.


--Penny