Help! Bridal Party!

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Help! Bridal Party!

There are no rules that say you HAVE to have siblings in the bridal party. So on that note, you should pick people that are your friends and you have a great relationship with... not someone you feel obligated to have. Remember these are the people with you all day... do you want negative energy with you throughout the whole planning process & morning of your wedding?

What does your fiance' think about the situation?

Help! Bridal Party!

Thanks!!!
Honestly, I haven't brought up this topic that much. I mentioned it once and he kind of brushed it off. Our focus has shifted to finding a RH for now. Our date isn't until 2015 so there is plenty of time for the discussion!

Re: Help! Bridal Party!

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Posted by danielle526

Thanks!!!
Honestly, I haven't brought up this topic that much. I mentioned it once and he kind of brushed it off. Our focus has shifted to finding a RH for now. Our date isn't until 2015 so there is plenty of time for the discussion!

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Haha yes, you definitely have time! In that case, don't rush to ask your bridal party right away. See what he thinks and if he agrees with you about having his younger sister, but not his older sister as a bridesmaid... then do what makes YOU comfortable. It's not like all of a sudden the older sister is going to be super nice to you just because you asked her to be in your bridal party anyway haha

Good luck!!

Help! Bridal Party!

How would FMIL feel if you asked one but not the other?
Just be sure to think through potential hurt feelings from the people you DO care about such as his younger sister.
Maybe you could ask her but make it very clear it's ok with you if she says no. That way, you asked her, but she made the call. Sounds like she wouldn't be that excited about being in the wedding and would say no anyway, but at least you asked.

Help! Bridal Party!

I would suck it up an ask both. I wouldn't want to start my marriage off with any other reasons for that sister to be a b*tch. Hopefully she will say no.

Re: Help! Bridal Party!

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Posted by Soon2BeMrsMango

I would suck it up an ask both. I wouldn't want to start my marriage off with any other reasons for that sister to be a b*tch. Hopefully she will say no.

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This. But if she accepts, see if someone who she respects and understands the situation (FMIL, FH) can 'drop the hint' that she is on thin ice-- without being mean lol

Help! Bridal Party!

I only asked my younger brother to be in the bp bc I don't always get along with older. I did however ask him to do a reading and he'll walk my mom down the aisle. That way he is still involved. Ask younger sister and have his older sister do a reading.

Help! Bridal Party!

I wouldn't worry too much about not asking the older sister. It sounds, based on what you wrote, that she is the kind of person who will complain about pretty much anything, no matter what you decide. Think of it this way. Either you can hear her complain about how she's broke and she's 'stretching herself thin just so she can be in your bridal party', or you can let her say whatever she wants about you not asking her, and you don't HAVE to listen to it. LOL

Re: Help! Bridal Party!

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Posted by Soon2BeMrsMango

I would suck it up an ask both. I wouldn't want to start my marriage off with any other reasons for that sister to be a b*tch. Hopefully she will say no.

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This. It may save you a lot of grief in the long run. Good luck!

Re: Help! Bridal Party!

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Posted by Soon2BeMrsMango

I would suck it up an ask both. I wouldn't want to start my marriage off with any other reasons for that sister to be a b*tch. Hopefully she will say no.

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Totally agree! When my brother got married she hadn't asked me right away to be in te Bp but my younger brother was and so were her two brothers. So basically everyone in the family but me. We don't get along (she is a flocking train wreck) but I was pissed.

In the end it will be much more gracious of you to be the bigger person and ask her, just make it very well known ( like very) that she can decline if she wants to.

Help! Bridal Party!

Thanks for all of your advice/opinions. FH is going to talk to his sister given some time- probably some time next year. His older sister distances herself from family to begin with- and makes it very uncomfortable at holidays (always commenting under her breathe, etc). Either way.. I will hear her complain about how she is stretching herself thin, or hear her complain that I didn't ask her.