Help from the Moms needed

Ok so we are having the 'can we afford to have a kid on one salary talk' for the millionth time--
and I really need help on how much a baby actually costs- ie diapers, formula, etc--the monthly expenses-- not taking into account furniture, the nursery and the typical things you hope to get at a shower--
More on the 'it costs X dollars per month' to see if we are any where close to that X amount--
am I making any sense? any help would be great
or a point in the right direction
Laura

Re: Help from the Moms needed

I think I understand your question, but I want to give you some perspective also. I will get to the monthly expenses in one moment.

My son was born in May of this year and since January, we have spent close to $4K on the baby - this includes just food/formula, clothing, diapers, wipes, sundry items, bottles, and bottle liners (for Playtex disposable bottles) AND one LARGE expense of his christening party.

This does not include toys, his crib and carseat/stollers, changing pad, dresser, and a lot of the larger baby gear that we bought ourselves or received as shower gifts, AND it also does NOT include medical expenses for him to be born, or the doctor's visits for vaccinations, etc.

In the past few months, we have averaged between $150 - 175 in baby expenses.
Hope this estimate helps you in your discussions.
Good luck!

Re: Help from the Moms needed

It's really hard to pinpoint a dollar amount on what a baby costs. Since I'm new in the game here, I really haven't accrued the true costs yet. They say the first year you dont buy much because of everything you got at the shower and all the gifts of clothing.
I think the old saying might come into play a little here 'ya make do with what ya got'...


How much we spend on each item is totally up to each mom and dad. You can get a good crib for $300 and then you can get the fancy crib for $3,000 and of course there are cribs in between those pricepoints.
I think alot has to do with HOW you spend your money and WHAT you spend it on.
At my shower I got TONSSSS of 0-3m and 3-6m sizes in clothing. I took into account the fact that my sis has 3 kids and has TONSSS of 'hand-me-downs' for me and simply the fact that at this young age, they are really in the house most of the time, eating and pooping and all these 'cute little outfits' are really going to be a waste of money. They will barely get any use out of them, and outgrow them before you know it. So unfortunately, I returned alot of the smaller sizes (I feel bad returning gifts that were purchased with thought and creativity but I'd rather that person's money not be wasted.
I got store credit with some returns and I will be using that for diapers, wipes, bigger clothing and anything else I need... Thats just one thing I've dont to not waste money.

Also, if you plan to breastfeed, that's another money-saver. From what I've heard formula can cost $50-$80 a week, so thats a big factor.
Diapers, I'm not sure of the cost, since I havent had to buy any yet (yep even tons of those we got as gifts!)

I really think that if you watch what you spend, you should be ok. Shop wisely, cut corners in other areas (get books out of the library instead of buying them! get a pedicure every other month instead of every month ! - we still gotta pamper ourselves! )

My opinion about the 'baby discussion' is that the time will never be 'just right' and you dont wanna wait around forever for that 'right time'... and men are always more concerned about the financial situation. Just 'start trying' and let God take it into his hands. When God sends you that precious gift, you will 'make it through' with what ya got, believe me...

Lots of luck to you !

:::::BABY DUST::::::::::::::::::::

Re: Help from the Moms needed

I just wanted to add some comments, since Anna brought up a good points about 'making the best of what you have.'

First, re: the cost of formula...there are less expensive options (you can buy the powdered formula instead of the ready-to-feed formula), and then you won't be paying for convenience. Breastfeeding is a cost savings in the very beginning, but you cannot count on that b/c it might not work for you, or you might hate it and decide to stop, and then have to buy formula anyway.

Also, the numbers I quoted I had neglected to say that we did not buy an expensive crib - we chose to spend $99.00 on a portable crib since we were renting an apartment when the baby was born, and are now staying w/my parents until we can find our own home. Soooo, we saved a lot of money there and that was just b/c we were pressed for space. Also, we bought one build-your-own dresser from Target, and my Dad re-finished an old dresser that my Mom kept since we were little. So, our furniture costs have been minimal so far.

I have resorted to getting pedicures every two months instead of every 3-4 weeks. I buy the baby a new outfit or two before I buy anything for myself (unless I am desparate to have something to wear, and then I will shop for sales!). I also returned a lot of the smaller sized clothes for larger sizes, BUT you have to be careful with doing this too. The clothes in the stores are seasonal and if you buy them too soon after the baby is born, you will end up with summer outfits that will be big enough to fit your child by the time it's the dead of winter - that's also a waste of money.

You can do really well by buying in bulk at Babies R Us - they have the best prices on cases of formula, large boxes of diapers, and wipes. Whenever we make a trip to the store, we are good for almost one month or more. You'll work it out, don't worry.

Re: Help from the Moms needed

and dont scare off your DH with talks of the dollar amounts. If he's anything like my Dh, the time will never be right ! LOL. Even though we just had our son, (and of course DH is thrilled beyond words), we still had the same talk your having and he was still always more of the worry-wart about the finances... I always look back at how my parents made it, my dads small salary back in the 70's with four kids, thank God we are all fine ! We all had food in our mouths and we are all big and strong ! LOL ...

I really say, you'll do fine with what you have, if you are already good with shopping wisely and cutting coupons (its a thrill for me to get double my coupons!) if you know how to shop for good deals, and if both of you are good at not 'spending stupid' as my DH calls it, you will be fine.

HUGS and keep us posted !

Re: Help from the Moms needed

My DH and I have had these same conversations. We are getting ready to TTC in December (I'm so excited ) and we have talked about whether we can afford to do it on one salary. I'm not sure yet. But I do believe you can make it work with what you have. I did a lot of research online also on ways to save money with a baby. Breastfeeding, cloth diapers (would love to hear more on this topic if anyone dares to do it), and not buying a lot of those items that you really don't need. One article I read even said that a changing table is unnessary and there are other options rather than buying and expensive changing table. Refurbishing old furniture too like Claud mentioned is also a good idea.
I think what you are doing now is wise. Research and make up a budget. That is what we are in the process of doing as well.

GOOD LUCK!

Re: Help from the Moms needed

Not a Mom yet, or even an almost-Mom but Scott and I have had this discussion since we really want me to be able to stay home. It is not the 'baby' costs that we worry about as much as the mortgage, car payments, can we still save a dime if I were to stay home, what if we need a new roof or oil burner, can we ever go on a vacation again, can we still save for our 'golden' years.
Those are the huge costs for most people. While diapers and formula and baby wipes add up quick, the everyday living expenses are our issue.
I think you might want to say, 'Could we afford to live comfortably if I quit my job today or got laid-off'. If the answer is yes, then you can probably figure out a way to stay home with the baby. Also, 20/20 or Dateline did a big segments on moms who want to stay home and cannot afford it. Do you know that most of the Moms were actually LOSING money by working. Now these were NOT executive level women making hundreds of thousands of dollars. They were everyday working women. The money they spent on daycare, work clothing, dry-cleaning, commuting, lunches, etc...added up quick. By cutting those out they were able to stay home and come out even.

Re: Help from the Moms needed

I am not really sure I understand how you are separating the costs for the baby from other things like the mortgage, car payments, etc. In my opinion, none of the things that you mention are disposable costs - they are all everyday living expenses - especially since you can't put any of them off for a few weeks or months until you have the money to pay them.

With regard to losing money when working - I have heard that stated in many places and in many contexts. However, I am not really sure it applies in the area that we live, since salaries are typically higher than the national average. Plus, if you are making over $30-40K/year than you really wouldn't be 'losing' money to remain in the workforce.

Personally, I would love to stay at home, but living (and owning a home) on Long Island just doesn't afford too many people that luxury.

Re: Help from the Moms needed

I am not a mom yet either, just came over to this side and saw this post, and Fh and I were discussing this last night. We feel if we can pay our bills(Ex-Car payments, mortgage, etc.) We can make it on one salary. Thank goodness he is a teacher in NYC so he has the summers off as well as holidays. But, it is still going to be a struggle, we are going to have to clip coupons, buy on sale a lot etc. It can be done,my mom and dad did it on one salary and my mom went back to work when I was 18 years old just to keep herself busy. I have a lot of friends that are doing this as well, you just have to think before you buy.

Re: Help from the Moms needed

This has def helped-- I know we are on the right track-- MY DH makes approx $1000 over our regular expenses (mortgage, car etc) so it seems we have a cushion-- I was more interested in the monthly amounts (diapers, formual if BF doesnt work, etc) and $200 seems to be right---so I guess it will work--I hopefully will be going off BC in Jan- waiting the 3 months and then seeing what happens--
Laura