Help... how would you handlethis?

PoppedInASnap Posted: Dec 15, 2007 08:23 AM

Help... how would you handlethis?

Okay, fmil, as skinny as she already is (and those who know her will not believe what I am about to say) Has lost 10 more lbs...

she is 5'8 and now 100 lbs. She has a severe heart condition and when I looked it up it says that no fat on the chest is BAD for this condition...

THE DOCTOR YESTERDAY WEIGHED HER AND SAID ''WELL, LOOK HOW SKINNY U GOT, 10 LBS LIGHTER, EVERY WOMANS DREAM'. AND THAT WAS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so mad right now and when I told my mother even she began to panic.

She does EVERYTHING... fh tries to do all the housework but both of us work so thats impossible> She is also taking care of her grandson during the day every day because fsil is working...

I really want to call the doctor and tell her off. i dont know how to go about this....

ic ant get a picture of her to post on here... but if you were to see it you would have the same reaction...

coley1027 Posted: Dec 15, 2007 08:52 AM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

thats a tough situation. i would definitly talk to fh about your concerns and maybe then the two of you can sit down with her and tell her your scared about her weight in regards to the heart condition. i wouldnt call her doctor though, i would just sit down and talk to her. she will appreciate that youre concerned for her, and if she doesnt take it to heart and start gaining some weight.. then maybe go and talk to a doctor about it.

Cacarina Posted: Dec 15, 2007 10:29 AM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

5'8 and 100 pounds is scarey thin! I can't believe the dr. doesnt think that is dangerous for her. Do you think she has an eating disorder, or could her weight loss have to do with her condition? I don't think there really is anything you can do, maybe you should voice your concerns, but you don't want to get into it with her. She might be upset if you say something.

rocketsummer17 Posted: Dec 15, 2007 10:35 AM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

Talk to FH and tell him your concerns...if he agrees with you then have him sit down and talk to her (some FMIL's get touchy when the girl tries to talk to them...) if that doesnt work both of you need to talk to her again, and give her something that has all of the complications and concerns for someone with her condition...Maybe if she sees something in writing from a medical text of some sort it will scare her into being more careful....

Tori9299 Posted: Dec 15, 2007 10:36 AM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

I think it is a good idea to contact her doctor. She is not at a healthy weight at all.

Ann 52409 Posted: Dec 15, 2007 10:46 AM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

You should def. call her doctor and talk to FH about it and tell him to have a heart to heart with his mom

longislandlibrarian Posted: Dec 15, 2007 10:49 AM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

I think you and FH need to have a heart to heart.....and then think about calling the Dr. because it doesn't seem that your FMIL will listen to you guys about gaining weight...or at least NOT LOSING IT!!! I think it's RIDICULOUS that the Dr. doesn't think this is DANGEROUS!! You and FH may need to go meet with the Dr.......

LegoBride Posted: Dec 15, 2007 07:48 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

I can't believe a medical professional can be so dumb. That makes me crazy. This is a very sticky situation but I would talk to FH and see if he would mind talking to her. This is so dangerous and you are both concerned - maybe you can work something out

CNC4eva3402 Posted: Dec 15, 2007 08:52 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

Wow - i'm just disturbed at how the Dr. put a positive spin on something like that..like it was a great accomplishment?? That would concern me..

About her weight, it is a sticky subject...and I definately see where you are concerned. I see that you said that she looks sickly, so you are probably right that this isn't a healthy weight for her..but are you sure?? Because, sometimes people have very small bone structures and being that height and in that weight range is actually fine...

I would talk it over with FH first...

PoppedInASnap Posted: Dec 16, 2007 11:16 AM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

Posted by CNC4eva3402

Wow - i'm just disturbed at how the Dr. put a positive spin on something like that..like it was a great accomplishment?? That would concern me..

About her weight, it is a sticky subject...and I definately see where you are concerned. I see that you said that she looks sickly, so you are probably right that this isn't a healthy weight for her..but are you sure?? Because, sometimes people have very small bone structures and being that height and in that weight range is actually fine...

I would talk it over with FH first...

Her and I are very close. We talk to eachtoehr all day etc. I know what you mean when you said you were disturbed. I dislike the doctor. She has cysts in her throat that causes her to have no voice, a ripped flap that causes overspill of blood into her heart valve... and alotm ore than that..

She has a VERY large bone structure. I tried to get an image to put on the site so that everyone can see what im talking about...

We all went to ikea yesterday (fmil, mom, fh and I) and my mom brought her down cookies. She ate them all, she DOES eat but all of a sudden she is just losing too fast...

My mother said to her 'Mil, you got so thin you okay?' and she said 'I dont know, i cant sleep, my hearts going amillion miles an hour I cant wait for reenie to only work three days so I dont have to take care of the baby'....

and went into a whole rant... which made me even more concerned because she is almost 70 herself, and she really should be at a healthy weight....

I am calling the doctor monday to ask her why she hasnt taken any blood tests for her thyroid... other than that we are all worried

MrsDrinkh20 Posted: Dec 16, 2007 12:01 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

Wow, I am so sorry that this his happening to you and your FH. I think it is very smart of you to call the Doctor. Sometimes, it takes a family member to kick them into high gear. (nothing against Doctors...my sister is one ) You have a right as her family t be concerned and to ensure that she gets the best care possible. Something definitely is going on with her body and it needs to be taken care of...good luck and keep us updated!

PoppedInASnap Posted: Dec 16, 2007 12:09 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

Thank you. Im glad everyone agrees that i should call the doctor. Im sure your sister is a great doctor, its just this one seems to be one of the few that dont care :(

CMS Posted: Dec 16, 2007 04:18 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

Would FMIL agree to going to a different doctor and maybe getting a second opinion?? Sounds like the one she's going to now is a bit of a quack.

I totally don't want to scare you at all, but for years my doctor kept telling me that I was overweight and I need to lose weight. This spring I started seeing a nutritionist. After 2 months, I had lost over 20 pounds. Doctor thought it was great when I went for my physical. Of course, she also missed the 6 inch tumor sitting in the middle of my chest that was causing me to lose all the weight!

Good luck!

PoppedInASnap Posted: Dec 16, 2007 07:49 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

CMS thats what im afraid of. Tumors run in his family, and she has alot of clumping cysts in her neck, throat, etc. I just worry that something is affecting something ELSE.

I tried to get her to come to my doctor but, she has no insurance and this is a 'family friend'...
I offered to pay... but... i dont know...

CNC4eva3402 Posted: Dec 16, 2007 08:11 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I agree that you should call the Doctor..she doesn't seem like she'd get upset, she kinda sounds like maybe shes looking for some help and shes overwhelmed with her life right now..you know how the last person us women usually take care of is ourselves..so she's prob putting herself last on her list...so if you feel you should..call her Dr..it can't hurt!

PoppedInASnap Posted: Dec 16, 2007 08:38 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

yeah, Im going to call the doctor tomorrow.

I never make big deals over things, like when im supposed to get free shipping, and they dont give it i never call... lol

but with her... i just, i want her tobe okay

CMS Posted: Dec 16, 2007 09:03 PM

Re: Help... how would you handlethis?

Posted by MrsFazz2B

CMS thats what im afraid of. Tumors run in his family, and she has alot of clumping cysts in her neck, throat, etc. I just worry that something is affecting something ELSE.

I tried to get her to come to my doctor but, she has no insurance and this is a 'family friend'...
I offered to pay... but... i dont know...

Aww sweetie..sorry to hear about this. I really hope and pray you can get her to go see another doctor, especially if you offer to pay for it. Even if it's just for peace of mind that she is OK.