Ok, to make a long story short. My MOH told me about 3 weeks ago that she doesnt like FH and she doesn't want him anywhere near her or her child. Mind you I was the godmother so that meant that FH couldnt come to the Christening. I would have to go by myself. Then I started thinking and I was like well if this was going to be how she acted, how could I even expect FH to allow her in my wedding party. I wouldn't want that if the situation was reversed and not just the wedding party, my MOH giving a speech.....not happening. So I attempted to talk to her, but to no avail I started yelling and saying not so nice things. I hung up. She texted me and emailed me not such nice things, so needless to say I have not spoken to her in weeks. The problem is that after her and I had our issue she dragged our other friend into it and said things to her (LIES) that supposedly my FH I should not be dealing with at 27 years old. I have made 6 attempts in the past week to contact this other friend that was dragged into this mess. She refuses to return my calls. My dresses are already ordered and they WERE both in my wedding party. I need to figure out what I am going to do. I have been crying all day ( I think b/c I am getting my friend soon) and havin a breakdown. This is supposed to be a happy time. They both got married within a month of eachother and I bent over backwards doing a million things for them and now when it is my turn they pull this s***. I am beyond hurt and dont even know what to do at this point in time. Any suggestions would be great!!!
Sorry so long just needed to vent and FH doesn't really get it. TIA
SummerBride10
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. It's really not right or fair.
First, maybe you should talk to to the girl your MOH dragged into the mess. Since she didn't seem to have an issue to begin with, it might be easier to smooth things over with her.
As for your MOH, I wouldn't even bother with her at this point. If she doesn't want your FH to be around her or her child she shouldn't have agreed to be your MOH. The MOH is suppossed to support the couple- how can she do that if she can't be around one half of the couple?
bkbaby4life
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
honestly.....ur friends seem crappy. no matter how they feel about your FH they should support YOU and YOUR wedding. they are YOUR friends. i hate pleanty of my friend's boyfriends, fiances, and husbands. but that doesnt interfere in our friendship. they need to understand that and they need to be supoprtive. if they keep acting up i would cut them from the bridal party.
KPetekie
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
1. Why don't they like your fh? Thats important. 2. Why don't you write them both an e-mail explaining why you are upset. Don't attack them in it just talk about how you are feeling hurt. Maybe the last few times you spoke to them you sounded angry?
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
My ex MOH doesn't like my FH because we met my FH and her husband the same night. They were friends. She decided she didnt like her husband and d***ed him over. She then slept with another one of their friends. After that didnt work out and another 2 relationships didnt work, she went back to her now husband. FH and his friends (being the good friends they were) told her she had to tell her DH that she slept with one of his friends. Their other friend said if she didnt tell him then he would. Needless to say she told him and he took her back anyway. He then cut off most of his friends because she now doesnt like them. She got knocked up about 3 months later, got married (didnt invite his friends except my FH because I was her MOH) and now has a child. FH had a conversation with her OVER A YEAR AGO and said what she had did was promiscuous. NOW over a year later, she is mad. What she did was promiscuous and she and I even spoke about it so, so whatever, this is what it all boils down to.
xosweetiexo
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
WOW thats pretty messed up!!! If you MOH didnt like your FH and couldnt stand him, then why did she even agree to be in your wedding party?? I dont think its right that she says she doesnt want your FH anywhere around her children, when she is in your wedding party and is going to be a part of your special day. If it was my FH, he'd prob tell me to kick the girl out of our wedding party.... but also, if you knew there was so much drama and tension between her and your FH, why did you ask her to be in your wedding party? You want people around you that have positive and not negative vibes. I dont want anyone standing there with us if they dont even want us together.
bkbaby4life
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
ur MOH is overreacting.
Novia09
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I'm sorry to sound like queen biatch. but this is YOUR day, and anyone who cannot share in your joy should not be a part of it.. as far as your other friend is concerned, if she wants to believe the lies then so be it.. DO YOU.. worry about YOURSELF.. Sometimes it isn't a bad thing to be selfish. Especially when it's over some BS.. Don't let anyone get in the way of your happiness..
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
I agree she should never have agreed to be in my BP especially since these things were said way over a year ago. I feel like there is more to this than I am getting. My dad told me (which he shouldn't have) that there was a lot of drama and stress about my shower, so I think that added to her overreaction and i also feel like maybe she was hearing things from either her family or her in laws about a friend being the godmother to her baby and not a family member for the first born. I think maybe she knew this would be her 'out' I don't know but I have had enough. I emailed my bridesmaid who got dragged into this before, so hopefully that will get smoothed over, but I cant see me EVER talking to my ex MOH again.
Nitania13
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
Posted by bkbaby4life
honestly.....ur friends seem crappy. no matter how they feel about your FH they should support YOU and YOUR wedding. they are YOUR friends. i hate pleanty of my friend's boyfriends, fiances, and husbands. but that doesnt interfere in our friendship. they need to understand that and they need to be supoprtive. if they keep acting up i would cut them from the bridal party.
ITA! I used to have a best friend and other friends that sound similar who turned on me b/c I wasn't going down the same road they were in life, and you know what I realized? They were never really my friends. You're friends sound horrible. You deserve better than that. Even if your other friend believed your ex MOH she still should've talked to you and heard you out. They both sound like really sh*tty friends. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you deserve a higher caliber of friends than 2 low lifes who sound jealous of you! Good rittance!
xosweetiexo
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
Posted by Nitania13
Posted by bkbaby4life
honestly.....ur friends seem crappy. no matter how they feel about your FH they should support YOU and YOUR wedding. they are YOUR friends. i hate pleanty of my friend's boyfriends, fiances, and husbands. but that doesnt interfere in our friendship. they need to understand that and they need to be supoprtive. if they keep acting up i would cut them from the bridal party.
ITA! I used to have a best friend and other friends that sound similar who turned on me b/c I wasn't going down the same road they were in life, and you know what I realized? They were never really my friends. You're friends sound horrible. You deserve better than that. Even if your other friend believed your ex MOH she still should've talked to you and heard you out. They both sound like really sh*tty friends. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you deserve a higher caliber of friends than 2 low lifes who sound jealous of you! Good rittance!
I totally agree with you too.... I know its horrible, but you still have a lot of time to figure who else you would want in your party. You want people around you who are truly happy for you and not jealous and starting drama. This is YOUR day and dont let them ruin it.
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
Thank you all so much. You sound like FH with saying my friends are crappy....I feel like I already knew that but I just needed to hear it from people who aren't directly involved in the situation. It is easy for FH to say because he loves me and sees how much I do for them and get hurt by them. You guys are great. I really appreciate it a lot!!!!
bride2binli
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
they r wrong, i agree that if they were your real friends they would be happy to see you happy. And they wouldnt put you threw all this ****...
I agree with you...I can understand if your FH did something terrible and she was only looking out for your well being but this is ridic! If you ask me I'd say she is just jealous...i wouldnt want her to be my MOH anyway.....she is the complete opposite of what it stands for...she is not very honorable
SoonToBeMrsScott
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
I am sorry you are going through this. Just remember this is your time and if they are giving you grief kick them out you have more then enough time to replace them are decide if you need that many girls in your party the less the better. You should only have the people who have your best interest in heart around you if anyone doesn't kick them out and move on
Shelleybean11
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
Sometimes people aren't worth the drama they cause. A true friend wouldn't act like this. She would put her feeling aside and stand proudly next to you on your big day.
KerriJohnS
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
I agree with the girl who said your friends are crappy! I'm sorry to say that... but these people who agreed to be in your BP should be able to put their petty BS aside to make this day be as wonderful as it can possibly be. Even moreso because you did it for them. Aside from that... they really shouldn't get involved in your relationship or give any ultimatums or say I won't be anywhere where so and so is... because that isn't fair to you or your friendship. I've had friends who've dated people that I didn't care much for... but you know what... that's why I wasn't dating that person and they were. You do not have to like every single person your friends date but you should be civil at least... out of sheer respect for your friend. So if you have friends who can't do that... then you are right to question your friendship with them. A true friend would be there for you no matter what... and they wouldn't bring their issues into it... especially when it comes to your wedding. Sounds like these people are trying to steal the spot light from you. Also, if she really didn't like your FH then why did she even invite him to her wedding? If he was good enough to be invited and things were somewhat more civil then... then why isn't this the case now? This whole thing sounds like an episode of The Hills!!!!!
Also, the third friend never really should of been involved. When I have friends who are fighting with one another... I ALWAYS remain nuetral... you can listen and give advice... but never get involved in someone elses fight because what happens is those 2 make up and you end up looking like an ***... so you be as good of a friend as you can to the two who are arguing and you listen and be there for both people (whitout going back and forth and telling oen person what the other is saying - because sometimes people say things and it's just VENTING!!! They may not actually mean some things they say and a good friend should know the difference)... but not allow yourself to get involved... and that's what this girl should have done. It's always sad when you are fighting with a good friend and even worse when you might be on the brink of losing a friend... but people come and go into and out of your life... it's just a part of how life goes... some people change and things happen. A lot of life is about dealing with changes and things that happen; but you always want to remain solid and in control when these times come. So the next time you talk to either of these girls you should make sure you are saying things that you feel and not just out of anger. Also, yelling isn't really going to get anyone anywhere. I think you guys need to really sit and talk all this out. And if you can't then you just might have to find other people to be in the WP. Surely there must be someone else you are close to that could take their place. And even if you are short a girl or two.. it's not the end of the world. You still are one of the luckiest people because you found someone who you want to share your life with and who wants to share their life with your and build on that. The main focus should really be on you and FH and not all this other drama. On the day of your wedding you shouldn't focus on who isn't there... but who IS there! Because that speaks volumes for who your real true friends are!
Again... people come and people go... but the true ones will remain in your life! If this girl isn't willing to put the past behind her and get over her own demonds... there really isn't a way you guys can be the best of friends that you perhaps once were. If they can't share and take part in your life then how could they ever claim to be a best friend of yours? Seems to me like your FH is a reminder of something MOH may still feel guilty for and it's just a way to remember negative feelings she is still harboring. Sometimes guys just work things out soooo much better than us catty girls! They fight and get on with it... some girls just drag things along and all that does is pull you down with heavy negative weight. If these girls can't move on then you should and get rid of the baggage!!!!! on the flip side... if they can move on and get passed this... then that might only make your relationship with these girls a little stronger. But that would have to start with talking things out!
DnT2010
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
i would just tell the girls to take a walk... SORRY.. but if they dont like your FH i wouldnt want them at the wedding ESPECIALLY in the BP. i would just tell them where to shove it.
rocketsummer17
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Re: HELP!!! I AM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
Posted by Shelleybean11
Sometimes people aren't worth the drama they cause. A true friend wouldn't act like this. She would put her feeling aside and stand proudly next to you on your big day.
absolutely agree! tell this girl to take a walk
Karsav7096
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Posted by rocketsummer17
Posted by Shelleybean11
Sometimes people aren't worth the drama they cause. A true friend wouldn't act like this. She would put her feeling aside and stand proudly next to you on your big day.
