HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

Sandradv121 Posted: Sep 15, 2009 12:18 PM

HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

My priest, who is a family friend, was told by the arch diocese that he is definitely not allowed to even perform a mock ceremony on the beach the day of our wedding. I figured that. So, with that said, I was told we still need to be married in the Roman Catholic Church in order for the marriage to be recognized by the church (which we knew). Which is fine, I spoke to Father Tony and he said that Thursday evening, the night before the actual wedding (I guess before the rehearsal dinner) he will do our ceremony than with our family and friends at my church. The other thing is he said that he knows a few retired priests that are willing to perform the ceremony the day of the wedding.

Well I spoke to my very awesome DOC, because I wanted to get her opinion. She suggested to have the ceremony in the church on the day of instead of going thru this 2 days in a row. The ceremony can be at 3 pm at the church and then we head over to Surf Club and have the reception instead of paying the Surf Club to do a mock ceremony… She said we can save money for NOT having our ceremony at the Surf Club and put it towards something else.

Now there are a couple of things you should know:
I am respecting my dads wishes regardless and will be married by a priest in a church anyway you look at it. This was all asked me to do. I promised. And with daddy I never break promises

The surf club has given us a little indigestion with the pool. Regardless of what was said to be done, people did pay for pool memberships and realistically, I can't expect people to leave 15 min earlier so i can get married on the beach. And I read a lot on here that the people do watch the wedding, so the privacy is next to nothing

I am really really confused and have not the slightest clue what to do. I need advice and opinions and I need it to be honest.
I can't believe this is happening to me

SummerBride10 Posted: Sep 15, 2009 12:23 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

It sounds like having the ceremony on the beach is more trouble than its worth. Unless you 100% have your heart set on it, I would skip it and save the money and aggrevation.
Instead, use the money towards something else you will look forward to so you dont feel like you're missing out!

Lsorrent Posted: Sep 15, 2009 12:24 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

Personally, I say just get married in the church. Do you really want to go through the hassle of TWO ceremonies?

I don't know how much money it'll actually save you though, as even though you'll be saving at the Surf Club, you still need to make the church donation and pay for pre-cana.

AdriandSteve Posted: Sep 15, 2009 12:25 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

aaaah father Tony. I've never met him but have heard wonderful things about him.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand.
Are you 100% set on having the ceremony on the beach?

Also, I can understand your DOC reasoning. If you do a 'mock'/real ceremony at the church on thd day of the 'rehersal' then i think the following day at the surf club might not feel as special. At least that's my opinion. I can def see it saving you guys $ at the surf club if you choose to not have it there.

GiannisWifey Posted: Sep 15, 2009 12:26 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

IMO, I would just get married at the church....it saves you a headache and also respects your dads wishes!

MarjorieFrank Posted: Sep 15, 2009 12:30 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

I would nix the Surf Club ceremony just for the fact that there will be lurkers outside your wedding watching. I am such a private person and I would hate that!

MrsC2010 Posted: Sep 15, 2009 12:53 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

i agree with what the other girls said....i think the ceremony on the beach sounds like a big hassel. I would just use that money for VH or extra stations, etc. and then get married at the church the day of.

i am sure it is disappointing if you have had your mind set on getting married on the beach but you and FH can take plenty of pics on the beach!!

regy_k Posted: Sep 15, 2009 12:59 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

I am with everyone else, I think doing it at the Surf Club turns out to be too complicated and gives u more to worry about. just do it at the church, this way all would be happy and most importantly u wont be losing ur mind
as much as I loved the ceremony site at Surf, its just not worth the hassle
maybe u can have ur dream beach ceremony for 1 yr anni, or on ur HM, or renewal of vows for some big # anni?

Ncarlo Posted: Sep 15, 2009 01:01 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

Posted by SummerBride10

It sounds like having the ceremony on the beach is more trouble than its worth. Unless you 100% have your heart set on it, I would skip it and save the money and aggrevation.
Instead, use the money towards something else you will look forward to so you dont feel like you're missing out!

Agreee!!!

soontobecruz Posted: Sep 15, 2009 01:04 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

I agree with everyone else. I would just do the traditional ceremony at a church and pass on the ceremony on the beach. It sounds beautiful but like a lot of trouble. As a guest they might be confused too, like 'we just saw this at the church, why are they getting married again.'

Go somewhere FAB on your 1 year anniversary and renew your vows on the beach in a tropical paradise wiht just the 2 of you!

StaceYums81 Posted: Sep 15, 2009 01:39 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

Just get married at the church so not worth it to do 2 ceremonies. Sounds like such a hassle...

cateydee Posted: Sep 15, 2009 01:49 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

Posted by soontobecruz

I agree with everyone else. I would just do the traditional ceremony at a church and pass on the ceremony on the beach. It sounds beautiful but like a lot of trouble. As a guest they might be confused too, like 'we just saw this at the church, why are they getting married again.'

Go somewhere FAB on your 1 year anniversary and renew your vows on the beach in a tropical paradise wiht just the 2 of you!

great idea! ITA

Sandradv121 Posted: Sep 15, 2009 01:59 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

Ok ladies. Looks like I am going to inquire about the church. Its the only way.

halfbaked Posted: Sep 15, 2009 03:22 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

Personally, I'd do the church. If you really have your heart set on the beach ceremony, do the beach thing and then have your marriage blessed in a Catholic church later on after the honeymoon or something. You're still married either way!

grrulz Posted: Sep 15, 2009 03:24 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

i totally agree with the girls and save your aggravation with the 2 ceremonies and do the church sometimes we have to compromise sorry you are going thru this

KatieG2010 Posted: Sep 15, 2009 04:00 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

do it in church Sandra!! the is too much trouble!

CristinanBen2010 Posted: Sep 15, 2009 05:35 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

I agree with everyone. Just have it in the church. Like your DOC said, you can use the money somewhere else and you wont have to worry about the whole pool situation. You can always still take the pics at Surf club by the ceremony place.

queensbride2010 Posted: Sep 15, 2009 05:47 PM

Re: HELP!!! I have a HUGE dilemma with my Ceremony!!! I need advice!!!

I agree with the other girls. Its too much of a hassle and having it the night before may take away from the moment the day of anyway.

I say take pics on the beach after your ceremony at the church. If anything, maybe you can renew your vows on the beach in the next 2-5 years