HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

I need some serious advice - here is what happened:

FI is the best man in a wedding upstate in 3 weeks. Last time we got together with this couple, his girlfriend was telling me about her journal on weddingchannel.com - how great of a tool it is, it's good to stay in touch w/family, etc. She tells me to start one and to peek at hers if I need help. I go in, and it's like 35 pages long, so I just click somewhere in the middle. Well, and she's trashing me on page 18!! This is before she even met me - she's saying I'm dragging FI down the aisle (not true, he proposed to me after 3 weeks together, we didn't make it 'offical' until 6 mos together) and how he should get a pre-nup (which is hysterical since I make $30k more than FI and already own my own house). She calls me a hypocrite for not letting FI move in, yet we sleep together. All really nasty, hurtful things.

Part of me says to give her the benefit of the doubt - maybe she's just looking out for FI (which I doubt since she trashes him at one point, saying he's so boring his toast is going to suck and she wants the MOH to give a toast so that the wedding starts on an entertaining note)

What should I do?? I'm afraid if I say something I'll get some two-faced apology back which will make it awkward whenever we see them. Over the next few weeks I'll see her on multiple occasions - final tux fitting, RD, wedding, etc. Should I let it go??? Maybe she was trying to spice up her journals so it gets more hits?? I'm at a complete lost. I told FI - more as a warning to please watch what he tells his friend since we can't trust him. FI thinks I should confront them - what do you guys think?? Am I being overly sensitive?? Oh here's the best part - 3 weeks ago she emails me and is complaining that her BM's are useless, so can I go with her to her 1st fitting?!?!? I go and over dinner is when she brings up this whole journal thing.

Help ladies - I really don't want FI to lose his friend, but I don't know how to handle this.

Thank you for any advice!!!

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

I would definately confront her, but this is just me.
I would tell her you read her journal at her suggestion and ask her why she wrote what she did about you and fh?
Ya know, I don't get these people who vent in their journals online. Anything online is for the world to see. If you want to vent, keep a journal at home, the old fashioned way, with pen & paper so no one can look at it!
And to think she told you to 'peek at hers'!
Some people are just not right!

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

Thanks for the advice! I'm just so afraid of making things awkward before their wedding. After their wedding, we really won't have a reason to spend too much time with them until our wedding - he's one of the GM. I'm debating confronting them after the wedding. FI thinks I should post a reply in her journal, just saying I'm really disappointed in her. See how she reacts.

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

your fh sounds too funny. try it.
see? i personally, couldn't be phoney or go out of my way to a fitting or anything else with someone I know wrote about me that way!

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

I know - now I feel like an idiot for helping her

Meanwhile, FI swears she's not 100% all there so why should I let her opinion of me bother me?? He has a good point.

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

shes definately not all there obviously
try fh's approach! i'd love to see what happens. keep us posted.

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

What a witch!! Why did she tell you to look at her journal knwoing that she had that stuff in there??? That's just plain mean and hurtful!!

I would confront her too. I just could not act like everything's ok, cause I would just blow up in the end. I'd rather get it out right away, so it can be a civil conversation and not a screaming match.

I also think that your FH's idea is great!! It's still awkward, but not as awkward as confronting her in person. I say try it. Keep us posted!

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

Karen, my hubby says you should go to her journal and say 'I drop by your journal and found some interesting read on page 18'. Thanks for the insight. Let's see when she goes back to pg 18 and see what she wrote how she will react.

All the best to you sweetie

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

I agree with shamm, I would reply in her journal making references to page 18, and see what she says.

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

Thanks for your support. I'm really tempted to post a reply in her journal - put the ball back in her court and she how she reacts. My FI is really upset about this and even my FBIL is up in arms over it. Oh and I forget to mention - she invited a bunch of her weddingchannel buddies to the wedding - how awkward is this going to be?? But, according to my mother - FI and I absolutely glow when we're together, so (pardon my language) they can all go to hell!!!

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

I would definitely post in her journal about page 18, starting it off with 'I read your journal as you so enthusiastically asked me to and...' You already know she is pretty fake...now lets see if she's fake with no ba**s...good luck with it.

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

you could have written a page out of my life...lol

I was comparing a situation in someone ELSE's journal...put no names in, but the situation was apparant...I got drunk one night and told her the site I went to and she read it (found it on page 25 of someones 50 page journal)...she was pissed none the less...emailed me...and being that I don't really like her anyway, kind of blew her off...well she called my DH screaming!! lesson learned...if you want things to be 'comfortable' wait until after the wedding...she came to my RD and didn't say hello or goodbye to me...although I went and greeted her at our wedding...

I know (now) that one shouldn't ***** in your journal...but before you realize it...it is a great way to express your feelings and have people respond to it...my DH felt in the middle b/c she is marrying on eof his bestfriends...

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

Hey Ladies -

Just wanted to keep you posted - FI did confront his friend. Their version is that they were just looking at for FI's best interest (which I doubt since she attacked him personally also), but now that they met me they love me, think FI & are meant for each other, etc, etc. Of course, no mention of that in their journal - just the bad stuff. FI's friend claims he warned his FI not to post that stuff - you never know who's reading those things - but she posted it anyway. Whatever!

At this point I'm ready to put this whole thing behind us. FI says to expect an apology e-mail, but what's the point??

Thanks for all your support!!!!

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

Karen,

It's good to be able to put it behind you. You have enough to deal with! Just consider yourself forewarned.

Good luck!!

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

good for you girl at least you got to the bottom of it..she's fake and so will her apology.

All the best

Re: HELP - I have a serious problem with one of FI's friends (long)

Obviously, she has issues and is dying for attention. I would confront her about it but in a funny way. Say something like 'hey, I read your journal...thank you for all the wonderful stuff you said about us.' Pretend like you don't care & she will feel dumb as ever.

Keep us posted!