help me ease my money guilt!

Ok ladies... this is going to sound a little ridiculous...

But I need somebody to tell me it's ok to spend this much money....

Yesterday, I went to Flowerfield and fell in love. I am taking my fiance to see it tomorrow, and if he likes it, I'm booking it.

The problem:
It's really really expensive. They're quoting me $170 per person with a 185 person minimum (Saturday night in October). We'll probably have at least 200 people.
I really need a Saturday wedding because of all the out of town guests we'll have, and because we want to be able to go away Sunday and Monday for a mini honeymoon before I have to go back to work (it's Columbus day weekend, and I'll hopefully be a full time teacher at that point, so we figured we'd take a couple of days and then do a real honeymoon over Christmas break).
And I just really really really want an evening wedding. I just don't like the idea of a day one.
Plus, with an evening wedding, people could fly/drive in that day with plenty of time to spare, and not have to spend the extra $$ on an extra night in a hotel.
So, I'm basically picking the most expensive time and day in one of the most expensive months. But... yeah. Let's just say all of that is not negotiable.

Anyway... to the point... we have the money to spend. My father is very generously paying for the wedding, and we are very lucky to be able to afford those kind of prices.
And I know my dad would tell me not to worry about it, that the money is his problem, and we should choose what we want.

But I just feel like it's just a hell of a lot of money. But I really really want it. This is what I want. When I left the place, I was smiling from ear to ear and wanting to jump up and down. I was waiting for a place that just sparked something with me, and this is the one place that did...

So... it's ok to spend a lot to make your dreams come true, right? I mean, I have the resources... I don't want to take advantage of my dad's generosity, but I should use it if this is what it takes, right?

eh. I know I sound ridiculous and spoiled... I just feel so guilty for spending all this money!

---

Posted by weddingbunny

Ok ladies... this is going to sound a little ridiculous...

But I need somebody to tell me it's ok to spend this much money....

Yesterday, I went to Flowerfield and fell in love. I am taking my fiance to see it tomorrow, and if he likes it, I'm booking it.

The problem:
It's really really expensive. They're quoting me $170 per person with a 185 person minimum (Saturday night in October). We'll probably have at least 200 people.
I really need a Saturday wedding because of all the out of town guests we'll have, and because we want to be able to go away Sunday and Monday for a mini honeymoon before I have to go back to work (it's Columbus day weekend, and I'll hopefully be a full time teacher at that point, so we figured we'd take a couple of days and then do a real honeymoon over Christmas break).
And I just really really really want an evening wedding. I just don't like the idea of a day one.
Plus, with an evening wedding, people could fly/drive in that day with plenty of time to spare, and not have to spend the extra $$ on an extra night in a hotel.
So, I'm basically picking the most expensive time and day in one of the most expensive months. But... yeah. Let's just say all of that is not negotiable.

Anyway... to the point... we have the money to spend. My father is very generously paying for the wedding, and we are very lucky to be able to afford those kind of prices.
And I know my dad would tell me not to worry about it, that the money is his problem, and we should choose what we want.

But I just feel like it's just a hell of a lot of money. But I really really want it. This is what I want. When I left the place, I was smiling from ear to ear and wanting to jump up and down. I was waiting for a place that just sparked something with me, and this is the one place that did...

So... it's ok to spend a lot to make your dreams come true, right? I mean, I have the resources... I don't want to take advantage of my dad's generosity, but I should use it if this is what it takes, right?

eh. I know I sound ridiculous and spoiled... I just feel so guilty for spending all this money!

---

If you honestly love the place and it works with the situation in every aspect and your dad is truly ok with it then go for it. Maybe then you can cut back on something like flowers or photography or something if you feel that guilty about it, but i think if you really love it, go for it

---

Posted by soon2bmrsdunn

I know what you mean about the money guilt. I feel guilty and it's our money. However if you dad know how much it will cost and is still willing to be that generous then go for it. Is Flowerfields the only place you looked at? If it is then I would suggest looking at some more places. You never know what else you may fall in love with and it might be less. Good luck and let us know what you decide!!!

---

No, Flowerfield is definitely not the only place we looked at... I feel like I've been all over the place!

I've looked at about 8 places in person, and a bunch more online (I did this to rule out places that weren't worth seeing in person).

This was the only place that gave me that warm fuzzy feeling... And it's so unique, I doubt I'll find anywhere else like it for less! But I know what you mean about looking at a lot of places... we did find a place that I thought I liked, but then I kept looking, and I definitely found some I like more.

---

Posted by kam0813

don't feel bad...its the place of your dreams! granted it is a LOT of money, but if you just don't go overboard on everything else (like your dres and vendors)...then your dad won't feel like he's being taken advantage of and the price won't bother him and you won't feel guilty..maybe you should sit down with you dad and talk about your concerns...he'll be touched that you genuinely care and then maybe the two of you can work out a budget..he'll appreciate that

---

The whole money thing with my dad is wierd... thing is, I don't think he'll give me a solid budget. He's just wierd like that... I think he wants me to be able to get whatever I want (within reason). He definitely tends to go a little over the top when he plans big parties like this (like our Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, etc).
Maybe I will try and sit down with him... it just always feels so awkward to talk money with him.

You know, you can have the hall of your dreams but still save in other places, like for invites, centerpieces, etc. If it's that important to you, just find ways to save else where to make it more managable.

---

Posted by JanuaryBride06

You know, you can have the hall of your dreams but still save in other places, like for invites, centerpieces, etc. If it's that important to you, just find ways to save else where to make it more managable.

---

This is true.
Originally I thought it would be fun to do some of it myself... like make some things myself. I enjoy being crafty like that. But then I decided I probably wouldn't because it would be so time consuming...
But maybe I will anyway, and have some fun, and save some money!

---

Posted by weddingbunny

---

Posted by JanuaryBride06

You know, you can have the hall of your dreams but still save in other places, like for invites, centerpieces, etc. If it's that important to you, just find ways to save else where to make it more managable.

---

This is true.
Originally I thought it would be fun to do some of it myself... like make some things myself. I enjoy being crafty like that. But then I decided I probably wouldn't because it would be so time consuming...
But maybe I will anyway, and have some fun, and save some money!

---

You could always ask crafty friends to help you out - take a little advantage of family and the BP if they ask if you need help.

If your dad does not mind and can afford it...do it..

Its your wedding...and it will only be once..seize the moment...and the $$$

The only other way I would say think twice..is if it might put a straing on your father..which doesn't seem to be the issue...so if he's okay with it...don't short yourself of perfection and your dream

I don't think that there is anything wrong with booking it. If it's what makes you happy then go for it. As long as your dad really doesn't mind paying and it's not going to send him to the poor house. It's your day do what makes you happy

if that place makes you happy and your dad said its ok, then i dont think it would be a problem. I would talk to him again, and just confirm that he agrees to everything.