HELP!! Need opinion on child related question
Hello parents and parents-to-be;
I have a 9 year old little brother. I'm like an aunt to him- I take him places and buy him things - basically, I spoil him rotten and he looks up to me/calls me all the time. But he's been having behavorial problems. My brother lies all the time, and has been lying for years. Little white lies, and we try to do everything we can to stop it, but he keeps on. But he's not a very good liar, so he gets caught a lot of the time. I didn't take him anywhere this summer because of it. Otherwise, he really is a very good kid. Very sweet and loving.
The man who raised him as his father is actually his stepfather, and he knows this. He and my mother are having marital problems. My mother is also not the best mother in terms of attention. She makes sure the kids are fed and taken care of, but she also has a 3 year old who takes a lot of attention, and was never a very emotionally available person, and works A LOT.
So I find out that my brother cut school today. (How does a nine year old cut school? That's one of the things I'm talking about.) I am LIVID, because it's just another one in a series of lies. I call and I leave a message that I know he hears, about how angry I am with him. I was planning on taking him to the Brooklyn Museum this weekend, but I told him we're not doing that, I'm also not buying him anything for Christmas. He's in a lot of trouble.
So then I call my aunt who lives with them, and she tells me that my mother and my stepfather had a giant fight last night, and she threw him out.
So this explains my brother's behavior. So I get on the phone with him - he's BAWLING, my aunt has to promise him I still love him and I didn't mean it about Christmas - and I tell him that I love him too and that I didn't mean it about Christmas, and I'll take him to the museum this weekend.
So, my question is - should I take him this weekend? Should I be hard boiled about this (he CUT SCHOOL), or should I give in and do what I want to do, which is take him for the weekend and try to figure out what's going on with him, which he might see as a reward? What kind of punishment/treatment is appropriate here? Any ideas?
I have a 9 year old little brother. I'm like an aunt to him- I take him places and buy him things - basically, I spoil him rotten and he looks up to me/calls me all the time. But he's been having behavorial problems. My brother lies all the time, and has been lying for years. Little white lies, and we try to do everything we can to stop it, but he keeps on. But he's not a very good liar, so he gets caught a lot of the time. I didn't take him anywhere this summer because of it. Otherwise, he really is a very good kid. Very sweet and loving.
The man who raised him as his father is actually his stepfather, and he knows this. He and my mother are having marital problems. My mother is also not the best mother in terms of attention. She makes sure the kids are fed and taken care of, but she also has a 3 year old who takes a lot of attention, and was never a very emotionally available person, and works A LOT.
So I find out that my brother cut school today. (How does a nine year old cut school? That's one of the things I'm talking about.) I am LIVID, because it's just another one in a series of lies. I call and I leave a message that I know he hears, about how angry I am with him. I was planning on taking him to the Brooklyn Museum this weekend, but I told him we're not doing that, I'm also not buying him anything for Christmas. He's in a lot of trouble.
So then I call my aunt who lives with them, and she tells me that my mother and my stepfather had a giant fight last night, and she threw him out.
So this explains my brother's behavior. So I get on the phone with him - he's BAWLING, my aunt has to promise him I still love him and I didn't mean it about Christmas - and I tell him that I love him too and that I didn't mean it about Christmas, and I'll take him to the museum this weekend.
So, my question is - should I take him this weekend? Should I be hard boiled about this (he CUT SCHOOL), or should I give in and do what I want to do, which is take him for the weekend and try to figure out what's going on with him, which he might see as a reward? What kind of punishment/treatment is appropriate here? Any ideas?
