HELP Needed PLEASE!

I have a friend that I have known since HS and I asked her to be a bridesmaid but she told me she did not feel comfortable wearing the style of dress I chose, so now I'm stuck with finding an 'important' role for her in my wedding! I dont want her to just read a scripture during the ceremony, I feel like thats kind of minimal. I was thinking of asking her to be my coordinator. Making sure guests are where their supposed to be before ceremony starts and also help in getting the guys and girls that will walk down the aisle in proper formation and pacing their time. Is this stupid? I cant figure out another 'important' role to give this friend and I dont want her to feel left out. HELP!

I have a LARGE close family and a group of 7 girls I grew up with. I didn't want 15 bridesmaids so what I did was the people who were not in the bridal party that I wanted to be included in the wedding and have them 'VIP'.

I got the girls that were not in my bridal party silk flowers to wear in their hair. I also told them that since my bridal party is wearing black then they are more then welcome to wear a black dress as well (long or short whatever they wanted). I had the guys standing up at the front with DH and my BMs walked down the aisle alone. I didn't trust the guys to usher so I had 2 of my closest girls act us ushers. They made sure my aunts and uncles were up in the front, my bag piper was in the back, my mom was in her right seat, etc. I had another girl hand out our rose petal cones AND another girl hand out our yamikas.

I hope this helps you out. They LOVED it and were able to enjoy the rest of the day knowing that they were special to us!

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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this!

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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THIS

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Posted by Soon2BeABC

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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THIS

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REALLY??!!! Why is this so weird??? if i felt uncomfortable in a dress I wouldnt want to walk down the aisle either!!!! i think its pretty insensitive to not understand this just my opinion

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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This is exactly what I'm thinking. If one of my good friends asked me to be a BM dress choice would not be something for me to make my decision on. Put me in a completely unflattering tie-dye dress if you have to!

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Posted by PazzaRagazza

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Posted by Soon2BeABC

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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THIS

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REALLY??!!! Why is this so weird??? if i felt uncomfortable in a dress I wouldnt want to walk down the aisle either!!!! i think its pretty insensitive to not understand this just my opinion

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I cant imagine what is so crazy about the dress that she feels THAT uncomfy in it. Perhaps if it is strapless and she has large boobs and feels it wont support her tatas she could ask the bride for straps or something.. but to just not want to be part of the day solely on the dress the bride chose sounds very bizarre to me and I wouldnt stress over making her something else 'special' during the day...

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Posted by Michi

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Posted by PazzaRagazza

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Posted by Soon2BeABC

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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THIS

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REALLY??!!! Why is this so weird??? if i felt uncomfortable in a dress I wouldnt want to walk down the aisle either!!!! i think its pretty insensitive to not understand this just my opinion

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I cant imagine what is so crazy about the dress that she feels THAT uncomfy in it. Perhaps if it is strapless and she has large boobs and feels it wont support her tatas she could ask the bride for straps or something.. but to just not want to be part of the day solely on the dress the bride chose sounds very bizarre to me and I wouldnt stress over making her something else 'special' during the day...

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Well the issue is that I chose a mermaid,sweetheart bust dress in hot pink and my friend is a plus size girl and is very insecure about her body and also certain colors. I didn't want to change my whole color and bm dress style for just one person. But I would like her to still have a role..ppl have suggested her where another color,but Idk what color would mesh well with a hot pink/fuschia. With the coordinator role I was thinking of..she could wear whatever color and style she feels comfortable in and i would have her announced with the other bridal party members at the reception..Idk just a thought! This is getting so frustrating...other ppl I know have said what the other ladies have said above - just not have her as anything! But Idk if I can do that

Coordinator is a very important role- almost something you would give a sister or another close member of the family. I'm sure your friend would be honored to have that role- and also do a reading as well. Go with your heart on this one.

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Posted by chanel4201

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Posted by Michi

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Posted by PazzaRagazza

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Posted by Soon2BeABC

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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THIS

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REALLY??!!! Why is this so weird??? if i felt uncomfortable in a dress I wouldnt want to walk down the aisle either!!!! i think its pretty insensitive to not understand this just my opinion

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I cant imagine what is so crazy about the dress that she feels THAT uncomfy in it. Perhaps if it is strapless and she has large boobs and feels it wont support her tatas she could ask the bride for straps or something.. but to just not want to be part of the day solely on the dress the bride chose sounds very bizarre to me and I wouldnt stress over making her something else 'special' during the day...

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Well the issue is that I chose a mermaid,sweetheart bust dress in hot pink and my friend is a plus size girl and is very insecure about her body and also certain colors. I didn't want to change my whole color and bm dress style for just one person. But I would like her to still have a role..ppl have suggested her where another color,but Idk what color would mesh well with a hot pink/fuschia. With the coordinator role I was thinking of..she could wear whatever color and style she feels comfortable in and i would have her announced with the other bridal party members at the reception..Idk just a thought! This is getting so frustrating...other ppl I know have said what the other ladies have said above - just not have her as anything! But Idk if I can do that

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I knew she was going to be plus size when you said she as uncomfy with the dress choice. Honestly, I wouldn't wear that style/color combo either and I am a plus size bride.

Did she officially back out of the wedding? I would ask her if she is more comfy being a reader, bc that is definitely an honorable position that not everyone holds. DOC is someone who you hire; not a friend who will bear the burden of making sure the day is perfect. IMO, of course.

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Posted by CaughtMyFish

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Posted by chanel4201

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Posted by Michi

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Posted by PazzaRagazza

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Posted by Soon2BeABC

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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THIS

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REALLY??!!! Why is this so weird??? if i felt uncomfortable in a dress I wouldnt want to walk down the aisle either!!!! i think its pretty insensitive to not understand this just my opinion

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I cant imagine what is so crazy about the dress that she feels THAT uncomfy in it. Perhaps if it is strapless and she has large boobs and feels it wont support her tatas she could ask the bride for straps or something.. but to just not want to be part of the day solely on the dress the bride chose sounds very bizarre to me and I wouldnt stress over making her something else 'special' during the day...

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Well the issue is that I chose a mermaid,sweetheart bust dress in hot pink and my friend is a plus size girl and is very insecure about her body and also certain colors. I didn't want to change my whole color and bm dress style for just one person. But I would like her to still have a role..ppl have suggested her where another color,but Idk what color would mesh well with a hot pink/fuschia. With the coordinator role I was thinking of..she could wear whatever color and style she feels comfortable in and i would have her announced with the other bridal party members at the reception..Idk just a thought! This is getting so frustrating...other ppl I know have said what the other ladies have said above - just not have her as anything! But Idk if I can do that

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I knew she was going to be plus size when you said she as uncomfy with the dress choice. Honestly, I wouldn't wear that style/color combo either and I am a plus size bride.

Did she officially back out of the wedding? I would ask her if she is more comfy being a reader, bc that is definitely an honorable position that not everyone holds. DOC is someone who you hire; not a friend who will bear the burden of making sure the day is perfect. IMO, of course.

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After hearing the reason I think you should make her a reader. It is a very important role imo and she can wear whatever she is comfy with :) good luck!

I understand where the BM is coming from.... Im VERY uncomfortable in anything strapless - not because of my boobs, but i just hate my fat arms LOL
So I would probably do the same thing and back out -
It may sound funny to some people but when you are self concious about your body and are forced to wear something tight/low cut/ whatever the case is - you feel like all eyes are going to be on you......

I know this may not help you but for my wedding, I picked a color and Im having the girls wear whatever they want in that color..... so everyone will have a dress they are comfy in.
Im not a bridezilla at all, and I know how it feels to not feel comfy, so Im giving them that choice!

If that doesnt work for you - then DEF have her do a reading and of course be a part of your day the best she can :)

HTH
good luck!

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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ditto!!!!! if she is really is that good of a friend, she will realize that it is your special day and be willing to suck it up to make her friend happy and be a special part of your day.

If it were me, and I don't want to sound rude, if she was that good of a friend to me I would take just her shopping and let her pick out a dress she would feel comfortable in. Maybe add a wrap to the dress to make her feel a little less insecure.

My friend recently told me about a friend of hers who had a maid of honor back out because she couldn't afford the dress and she let her back out. If it were me (and I am by no means wealthy) I would find a way to pay for her dress. You asked these girls to be a big part of your day for a reason, whether its $ for the dress or the dress itself, these shouldn't even be an issue. That's just my opinion though.


-D

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Posted by chanel4201

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Posted by Michi

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Posted by PazzaRagazza

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Posted by Soon2BeABC

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

---

THIS

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REALLY??!!! Why is this so weird??? if i felt uncomfortable in a dress I wouldnt want to walk down the aisle either!!!! i think its pretty insensitive to not understand this just my opinion

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I cant imagine what is so crazy about the dress that she feels THAT uncomfy in it. Perhaps if it is strapless and she has large boobs and feels it wont support her tatas she could ask the bride for straps or something.. but to just not want to be part of the day solely on the dress the bride chose sounds very bizarre to me and I wouldnt stress over making her something else 'special' during the day...

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Well the issue is that I chose a mermaid,sweetheart bust dress in hot pink and my friend is a plus size girl and is very insecure about her body and also certain colors. I didn't want to change my whole color and bm dress style for just one person. But I would like her to still have a role..ppl have suggested her where another color,but Idk what color would mesh well with a hot pink/fuschia. With the coordinator role I was thinking of..she could wear whatever color and style she feels comfortable in and i would have her announced with the other bridal party members at the reception..Idk just a thought! This is getting so frustrating...other ppl I know have said what the other ladies have said above - just not have her as anything! But Idk if I can do that

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Her rationale makes sense to me. The dress does sound like it would look pretty bad on a plus size woman. Heck, I'm an itty-bitty little thing and I get uncomfortable in certain dresses.

I think having her do a reading is a lovely idea. I prefer it over the coordinator idea. That role requires a lot of responsibility and stress. It almost feels like a punishment...lol

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

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same. that was her choice to opt out of the wedding....i think its a really weird response. what is wrong with the dress that you chose...what does it look like?

personally I wouldnt try to accommodate her at all...just invite her as a guest.

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Posted by chanel4201

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Posted by Michi

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Posted by PazzaRagazza

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Posted by Soon2BeABC

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

---

THIS

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REALLY??!!! Why is this so weird??? if i felt uncomfortable in a dress I wouldnt want to walk down the aisle either!!!! i think its pretty insensitive to not understand this just my opinion

---

I cant imagine what is so crazy about the dress that she feels THAT uncomfy in it. Perhaps if it is strapless and she has large boobs and feels it wont support her tatas she could ask the bride for straps or something.. but to just not want to be part of the day solely on the dress the bride chose sounds very bizarre to me and I wouldnt stress over making her something else 'special' during the day...

---

Well the issue is that I chose a mermaid,sweetheart bust dress in hot pink and my friend is a plus size girl and is very insecure about her body and also certain colors. I didn't want to change my whole color and bm dress style for just one person. But I would like her to still have a role..ppl have suggested her where another color,but Idk what color would mesh well with a hot pink/fuschia. With the coordinator role I was thinking of..she could wear whatever color and style she feels comfortable in and i would have her announced with the other bridal party members at the reception..Idk just a thought! This is getting so frustrating...other ppl I know have said what the other ladies have said above - just not have her as anything! But Idk if I can do that

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o i didnt see this. maybe you can put her in another dress of the same color with a more flowing, free look to it that still goes with the other BM dresses?

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Posted by eck739

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Posted by chanel4201

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Posted by Michi

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Posted by PazzaRagazza

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Posted by Soon2BeABC

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Posted by Michi

I think its so strange she'd turn down being a bm b/c of the style of dress u chose. I personally wouldnt make her anything but thats just me.

---

THIS

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REALLY??!!! Why is this so weird??? if i felt uncomfortable in a dress I wouldnt want to walk down the aisle either!!!! i think its pretty insensitive to not understand this just my opinion

---

I cant imagine what is so crazy about the dress that she feels THAT uncomfy in it. Perhaps if it is strapless and she has large boobs and feels it wont support her tatas she could ask the bride for straps or something.. but to just not want to be part of the day solely on the dress the bride chose sounds very bizarre to me and I wouldnt stress over making her something else 'special' during the day...

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Well the issue is that I chose a mermaid,sweetheart bust dress in hot pink and my friend is a plus size girl and is very insecure about her body and also certain colors. I didn't want to change my whole color and bm dress style for just one person. But I would like her to still have a role..ppl have suggested her where another color,but Idk what color would mesh well with a hot pink/fuschia. With the coordinator role I was thinking of..she could wear whatever color and style she feels comfortable in and i would have her announced with the other bridal party members at the reception..Idk just a thought! This is getting so frustrating...other ppl I know have said what the other ladies have said above - just not have her as anything! But Idk if I can do that

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o i didnt see this. maybe you can put her in another dress of the same color with a more flowing, free look to it that still goes with the other BM dresses?

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Unfortunately,this idea doesn't work as shes insecure about her size and the color...as for me I'm more of a uniform person anyhow. I would only entertain the idea if she were a MOH...