HELP Please

Sorry in advance for ranting, but here goes….
I was working on the invite list for the wedding and my FH and I got in a bit of a disagreement. His mom’s friend has 3 children that he considers to be cousins. They are complete and total BRATS, especially the youngest one. She throws temper tantrums every 5 seconds and her mom NEVER disciplines any of them. I assumed that we wouldn’t invite them to the wedding since I figured we would do a 13 year old cut off because I really don’t want children running around our RH (hence no flower girl or ring bearer). He freaked out and said we have to invite them. I really don’t want them there, but I don’t see any way around it without causing a huge fight. Is it o.k. to invite them and no other children? I feel like other family members with kids are going to get annoyed. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Any advice at all would be appreciated. Sorry I carried on for so long, but I think I feel a little bit better now.

I know it's a touchy subject, but in reality - if you're going to invite them, you have to invite everyone else's children or you'll hurt a lot of people's feelings. 'No one under 13... except for those kids over there' won't go over very well with other parents whose darling little angels weren't invited. It's all or none.

...unless you want to give these kids a role, like ring bearer, junior bridesmaid, etc. Then of course they'd be an exception. But you don't even like them so it doesn't sound like an option.

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Posted by DavaDay

I know it's a touchy subject, but in reality - if you're going to invite them, you have to invite everyone else's children or you'll hurt a lot of people's feelings. 'No one under 13... except for those kids over there' won't go over very well with other parents whose darling little angels weren't invited. It's all or none.

...unless you want to give these kids a role, like ring bearer, junior bridesmaid, etc. Then of course they'd be an exception. But you don't even like them so it doesn't sound like an option.

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I totally agree. People get offended easily when it comes to their kids..

I think its a great idea to have them included in the wedding if you don't want to invite any other kids..

My personal opinion is that if you have a cut off, there can be no exceptions.
Our rule is 'Nieces and Nephews of the Bride and Groom Only'
we won't be putting it ON anything, but that's how we made our guest list.
at first it was no kids except for our bridal party, but FH has a step brother in Germany who is probably coming to the wedding, and he has 2 kids. We couldn't tell them to leave their kids on another continent... so we included them under our Niece/Nephew umbrella.

I think other guests at your wedding might be offended if they see those kids, but theirs couldn't come, especially if they are not well behaved children.

then again... it's your wedding, and you should be able to invite who you want without other people interfering... so it's really up to you, whether or not you can deal with other people being upset that those kids are there.
in a perfect world, you could invite them with no problem... you know?

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Posted by CNC4eva3402

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Posted by DavaDay

I know it's a touchy subject, but in reality - if you're going to invite them, you have to invite everyone else's children or you'll hurt a lot of people's feelings. 'No one under 13... except for those kids over there' won't go over very well with other parents whose darling little angels weren't invited. It's all or none.

...unless you want to give these kids a role, like ring bearer, junior bridesmaid, etc. Then of course they'd be an exception. But you don't even like them so it doesn't sound like an option.

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I totally agree. People get offended easily when it comes to their kids..

I think its a great idea to have them included in the wedding if you don't want to invite any other kids..

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I agree with Dava but if you don't really like the kids in the first place I don't think it's a good idea to include them in our wedding. Because then you will be spending the majority of the day with kids you don't like and they will also be in many wedding pictures.

Its tough but I would stick with the cut off age. How old are these kids anyway?

We are considering no kids at all (sunday night wedding) but FH insists on inviting our friends children a 11y/o and an 8 y/o. I don't see how that fair to my cousins who also have young children. But we will cross that road when we get to it.

I agree with Dava but if you don't really like the kids in the first place I don't think it's a good idea to include them in our wedding. Because then you will be spending the majority of the day with kids you don't like and they will also be in many wedding pictures.

Its tough but I would stick with the cut off age. How old are these kids anyway?

We are considering no kids at all (sunday night wedding) but FH insists on inviting our friends children a 11y/o and an 8 y/o. I don't see how that fair to my cousins who also have young children. But we will cross that road when we get to it.

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Definitely no way that I'd have them in the BP!
By the wedding they will be 13, 12 and 8. I want to just do a 13 year old cut off, but FH is being a pain in the a** about it. I tried to explain to him that if we invite them, then we have to invite everyone's kids which is out of the question because it adds up to a lotttt more money and I don't want kids there in the first place.
I'm sorry that you are in the same situation too. Hopefully it will all resolve itself.
Thanks for listening and for the suggestions so far!

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Posted by DavaDay

I know it's a touchy subject, but in reality - if you're going to invite them, you have to invite everyone else's children or you'll hurt a lot of people's feelings. 'No one under 13... except for those kids over there' won't go over very well with other parents whose darling little angels weren't invited. It's all or none.

...unless you want to give these kids a role, like ring bearer, junior bridesmaid, etc. Then of course they'd be an exception. But you don't even like them so it doesn't sound like an option.

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i agree... you have a rule for a reason and no one should be an exception.

you can invite some and not others
just like people

YAY! So I just spoke with my FMIL and she doesn't think we should invite the youngest child who is the one that throws the tantrums, so now FH is o.k. with it...I WIN Thanks for all the advice girls

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Posted by DavaDay

I know it's a touchy subject, but in reality - if you're going to invite them, you have to invite everyone else's children or you'll hurt a lot of people's feelings. 'No one under 13... except for those kids over there' won't go over very well with other parents whose darling little angels weren't invited. It's all or none.

...unless you want to give these kids a role, like ring bearer, junior bridesmaid, etc. Then of course they'd be an exception. But you don't even like them so it doesn't sound like an option.

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ITA with this

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Posted by TiffJoey

YAY! So I just spoke with my FMIL and she doesn't think we should invite the youngest child who is the one that throws the tantrums, so now FH is o.k. with it...I WIN Thanks for all the advice girls

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oh yay lol

hey tiff
well the only kids i had at my wedding were my 2 RBs and their sister
one of Sean's aunts made this big deal about how she was bringing her grandson bc it wasnt right he wasnt invited bla bla bla - we didnt invite him bc i have like 40 cousins and then they would all have to come too - well it turned out after all her complaining and us giving in, they never showed up! go figure!

i think you shoudl stick to no kids under 13

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Posted by jenn122397

hey tiff
well the only kids i had at my wedding were my 2 RBs and their sister
one of Sean's aunts made this big deal about how she was bringing her grandson bc it wasnt right he wasnt invited bla bla bla - we didnt invite him bc i have like 40 cousins and then they would all have to come too - well it turned out after all her complaining and us giving in, they never showed up! go figure!

i think you shoudl stick to no kids under 13

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Hey!
Thanks....I think that is what we are going to do now...you know how stubborn men can be sometimes though....it's funny how they won't listen to you, but if their mom suggests it then it's another story! I want to see pictures from your wedding...Do you have any online yet?????

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Posted by Randilotus

sorry that whole situation stinks!!!

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Thanks Hopefully it has been resolved

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Posted by DavaDay

I know it's a touchy subject, but in reality - if you're going to invite them, you have to invite everyone else's children or you'll hurt a lot of people's feelings. 'No one under 13... except for those kids over there' won't go over very well with other parents whose darling little angels weren't invited. It's all or none.

...unless you want to give these kids a role, like ring bearer, junior bridesmaid, etc. Then of course they'd be an exception. But you don't even like them so it doesn't sound like an option.

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i couldnt have said it better myself