Brides Helping Brides ™ - Help with Gift

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Help with Gift

Meg9-20-02 Posted: Dec 03, 2002 03:57 PM+

Meg9-20-02 MEMBER SINCE: 2/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1261 WEDDING DATE: Sep 20, 2002

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 03:57 PM

Help with Gift

I am in a weird situation . . .
One of my BMs (who had been engaged a few months) jetted away to Hawaii a few weeks ago to get married. It was totally last minute - She just brought her mom. Now, since there was no chance for any celebration beforehand, her mom is throwing her a surprise shower. What do you all think I should do for a gift? I feel like she did a lot for me - spent a lot of time and money partaking in my wedding and all. Do I give her an extra big gift - wedding/shower combined - or do I just treat this like a normal shower and give her a separate wedding gift? I know they could really use money. Is it inappropriate to give cash as a wedding gift if the couple elopes? They did register for a few things at Macy's though.
This is just such a strange situation that I don't know what to do

Any advice would be appreciated -
Thanks

Sasha96 Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:00 PM+

Sasha96 MEMBER SINCE: 6/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3296 WEDDING DATE: Apr 12, 2003

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:00 PM

Re: Help with Gift

If it was me, I would most likely give them a shower gift and a seperate wedding gift. If they need/want money I would give money as the wedding gift and a gift off the registry for the shower. Their eloping would not alter my gift selection...what type or how much. Hope it helps!

Sonicstef Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:02 PM+

Sonicstef MEMBER SINCE: 2/01 TOTAL POSTS : 8405 WEDDING DATE: Oct 05, 2002

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:02 PM

Re: Help with Gift

Since she really could use the cash - then cash it should be.

If money wasnt an issue, I would buy something really huge for their shower like a couch or some other big piece.

dcbride Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:05 PM+

dcbride MEMBER SINCE: 5/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1174 WEDDING DATE: Sep 01, 2003

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:05 PM

Re: Help with Gift

I would give a little gift for the shower from the registry and then cash as a wedding gift.

Meg9-20-02 Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:17 PM+

Meg9-20-02 MEMBER SINCE: 2/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1261 WEDDING DATE: Sep 20, 2002

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:17 PM

Re: Help with Gift

Wow! You guys are fast!
One more thing - Would you give extra because she spent lots of money just being a part of my BP? I want to give a really big gift but DH doesn't think it should be more than I would give a good friend normally.
Thanks again

abc7077 Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:22 PM+

abc7077 MEMBER SINCE: 4/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1143 WEDDING DATE: Dec 07, 2002

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:22 PM

Re: Help with Gift

I gave the people who really went out of their way for me more than I would for just a friend who is getting married or I was just giving a present to. It takes a lot of time and money to plan showers etc and make everything nice for the bride.

shamma Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:24 PM+

shamma MEMBER SINCE: 10/01 TOTAL POSTS : 19166 WEDDING DATE: Aug 03, 2002

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:24 PM

Re: Help with Gift

Give them what they will use, if you know they need the cash, go ahead, I am sure they will be happy with it.

PS can we see more peek shures please

OctBride03 Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:24 PM+

OctBride03 MEMBER SINCE: 9/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6768 WEDDING DATE: Oct 19, 2003

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 04:24 PM

Re: Help with Gift

I'd give a shower gift and a separate wedding gift.

wacky Posted: Dec 03, 2002 05:52 PM+

wacky MEMBER SINCE: 11/02 TOTAL POSTS : 9976 WEDDING DATE: Jun 21, 2003

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 05:52 PM

Re: Help with Gift

Give them money as a wedding gift. Everyone can always use it. Keep the shower gift separate.

Hope that helps

Stacey1403 Posted: Dec 03, 2002 07:23 PM+

Stacey1403 MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 10847 WEDDING DATE: Jan 04, 2003 WEDDING LOCATION: Not sure yet...

Posted: Dec 03, 2002 07:23 PM

Re: Help with Gift

I would give a gift at the shower and a separate gift(money) for a wedding gift.

Meg9-20-02 Posted: Dec 04, 2002 08:32 AM+

Meg9-20-02 MEMBER SINCE: 2/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1261 WEDDING DATE: Sep 20, 2002

Posted: Dec 04, 2002 08:32 AM

Re: Help with Gift

Thanks for your help everyone . . .
One more question - Would you send the wedding gift now or would you wait until after the shower (in January)?
Shamma - I am hoping to buy a scanner right after the holidays - I promise - More pictures then

JENHOS Posted: Dec 04, 2002 08:52 AM+

JENHOS MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2549 WEDDING DATE: Nov 16, 2002

Posted: Dec 04, 2002 08:52 AM