I could really use some help here. FH & I have been living together for over a year & have joined almost all of our finances. We share a joint credit card, joint ING account & a joint checking/savings at a local bank. Both our paychecks go into the local acct, which we pay our common household bills out of, save for the wedding out of into ING & use our spending money from.
As we get closer to the wedding & money gets tighter we've been bickering more & more about money. We seem to have a problem with agreeing on spending. How does everyone out there do it? Do you check in with each other before big purchases? What constitutes an amount that should be checked on before spending? Also how do you really compromise on spending when you totally disagree.
For example: at the moment we had a disagreement on a ski trip of all things. He enjoys sking & wants to go with his friends for the weekend, it'll cost about $400. I said really I think you need to skip going this winter & he got all upset saying he didn't need to 'ask my permission to spend his own money.' I get this idea, as I wouldn't ask him 'permission' we're grown adults... but why check in with me & then totally disregard my opinion, I found that really disrespectful. There are plenty of things I'd like to be spending on, but because of the wedding I'm not. We talked it over for hours last night & I'm at the point where I think we might need to seperate our money for our own sanity. I just feel like how's the marriage going to work if we can't compromise on spending now (before a house & kids, etc) Any insights??? I'm really stressing over this...
MrsD06
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help with joint finances!
We have a joint account and each still have neglible amounts of $$ in our personal accounts that we just didn't close yet b/c we had stuff outstanding ..we will probably get rid of those soon. At first I had a REALLY hard time with the concept that all our $$ would be joint. We've been together for a long time and always considered our $ to be both of ours, that it all 'evened out' in the end, but it's different when it really IS all together in one account. I'm still getting used to it, but it's a lot better. Not so much that we disagree, it's just a mental thing for me.
If you're having a hard time agreeing on $$, I really like the idea of having your own accounts for 'fun' money...so in the future if he wanted to spend $400 on a ski trip, he could 'save' that money for a few months ahead of time and sacrifice other 'fun' things he would have bought for himself
klingklang77
Posted:
Member since
Re: Help with joint finances!
DH doesnt spend at all. i am the spender. we recently just did a budget the DH created b/c we want to do some travelling and we need to save. DH gives each of us a set amount of money for food and going out a week. it has been working and we have been saving. we rent and have no desire for a house b/c we plan to move in 2-3 years.
