HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

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Posted by prncssrachel

I don't think anyone should be getting married if they cannot even effectively communicate over a bachelor party.

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yes i agree with this part. something's wrong if a. she cannot just talk to FH about it and they can come to a COMPROMISE. b. something is really wrong if FH is just tossing your friend's feelings away like they are nothing. c. HUGE problem if she is considering calling off the wedding at all, for whatever reason, that's a BIG deal!!

so they need to have a serious talk about this, whether what she is upset about is dumb or not, how can you consider not marrying him?? if she is (and has doubts) she needs to really second guess her decision to marry him!

wow!

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Completely agree! Calling off a wedding is a big deal and it shouldn't be over something like this! In reality no one is really 'happy' that their FH will more than likely end up at a strip club but we all have to find ways to deal!! I think that she should go out and have fun and also just realize that at the end of the night he is coming home to her...I mean the thought of him suddenly coming home from this night and saying 'I'm leaving you for a stripper' is pretty unlikely. I told my FH 'I don't want to know anything'!! I truly don't care if he goes to one but I just don't want to hear about it. I also understand that her friends are trying to help but I don't think telling her to call off her wedding helps at all. She's probably thinking now that everyone like dislikes him now and that will start to eat her up on top of everything else!! I hope that she will be able to sit down with him and just talk this out...she deserves that much!! Send her many and tell her to just think about how much better it will be once this 'weekend' is all over!

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

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Posted by JandJ1224

Well I am clearly in the minority here but, if her FH is willing to so easily disregard her feelings on such a big issue(as she sees it) what about future issues that should arise. I don't know that I would call off the wedding but I think they need to have a serious talk about this.

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yep, didn't see this when i first posted-- i agree with this also. whether this girl is upset about a popsicle stick or a HUGE issue it doesn't matter-- how he is dealing with this is not cool. what if down the line something REALLY big comes along?? i mean, she shouldn't call off the wedding but the fact that she is thinking about it is pretty crazy and leads me to believe there are more doubts underneath-- either way, they need to have a major pow-wow! good luck to her!

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I agree with this partially. If it truly upsets her that much, which I do understand, I honestly think he shouldn't go. I don't think I'd want to be with someone who knew something really upset me and wouldn't value my feelings over some party. You pick your battles and I'm all for compromise when two people can't see eye to eye....but there really are other ways for him and his friends to have fun that WOULDN'T involve him going to a strip club or disrespecting her. So yeah, if my FH disregarded my feelings on a major issue to me, whatever it may be, he wouldn't be the right one for me. I just don't understand how, if this is a major dealbreaker to her, it wasn't discussed prior to the engagement. She shouldn't have waited until now to bring it up.

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

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Posted by JandJ1224

Well I am clearly in the minority here but, if her FH is willing to so easily disregard her feelings on such a big issue(as she sees it) what about future issues that should arise. I don't know that I would call off the wedding but I think they need to have a serious talk about this.

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yep, didn't see this when i first posted-- i agree with this also. whether this girl is upset about a popsicle stick or a HUGE issue it doesn't matter-- how he is dealing with this is not cool. what if down the line something REALLY big comes along?? i mean, she shouldn't call off the wedding but the fact that she is thinking about it is pretty crazy and leads me to believe there are more doubts underneath-- either way, they need to have a major pow-wow! good luck to her!

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I agree with this partially. If it truly upsets her that much, which I do understand, I honestly think he shouldn't go. I don't think I'd want to be with someone who knew something really upset me and wouldn't value my feelings over some party. You pick your battles and I'm all for compromise when two people can't see eye to eye....but there really are other ways for him and his friends to have fun that WOULDN'T involve him going to a strip club or disrespecting her. So yeah, if my FH disregarded my feelings on a major issue to me, whatever it may be, he wouldn't be the right one for me. I just don't understand how, if this is a major dealbreaker to her, it wasn't discussed prior to the engagement. She shouldn't have waited until now to bring it up.

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very well said

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Posted by JandJ1224

Well I am clearly in the minority here but, if her FH is willing to so easily disregard her feelings on such a big issue(as she sees it) what about future issues that should arise. I don't know that I would call off the wedding but I think they need to have a serious talk about this.

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Big issue 'according to her'.

So are you saying that anytime she wants to get her way... all she has to say is 'its a big issue' and he is forced to comply? I don't think so.


A woman saying 'its disrespectful' - you cant go'... is simply using that term as an excuse to hide her own insecurity.


Guys will look at boobs all they want... whether they get your approval or not.

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Posted by JanuaryBride06


Cancel because he's going to Scores? She can just go to Hunk-o-mania.
Why cancel a wedding over a bachelor party that hasn't even happened?

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Hunk-o-mania. Good call

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by JandJ1224

Well I am clearly in the minority here but, if her FH is willing to so easily disregard her feelings on such a big issue(as she sees it) what about future issues that should arise. I don't know that I would call off the wedding but I think they need to have a serious talk about this.

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Big issue 'according to her'.

So are you saying that anytime she wants to get her way... all she has to say is 'its a big issue' and he is forced to comply? I don't think so.


A woman saying 'its disrespectful' - you cant go'... is simply using that term as an excuse to hide her own insecurity.


Guys will look at boobs all they want... whether they get your approval or not.

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I totally agree that guys are going to look at boobs and a** all they want ...it could be in a magazine.....or even porn....she doesn't have to trust the strippers, but she does have to trust him to know that he won't do anything stupid to mess up their relationship. I can't say that she is insecure because I don't know the 'whole' problem....I don't know 'why' she is feeling this way...or if he 'gave' her a reason to feel this way...or if it is just her....
They really need to have a good heart to heart and get the real problem out in the open before they get married

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Posted by rlgirl

i dont mean to sound harsh, but what everytime she goes crying like a baby about something, she's supposed to get her way? how old is she, 5? her fh had no control over a bachelor party being planned for him. ive had to plan the ENTIRE wedding by myself with no help from anyone. i wish that was all I had to worry about!!

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I guess it depends on how she handles other things when she doesn't get her way. You definitely have to pick your battles. No one can have their way all the time. It's up to the people in the relationship to decide what's ultra-important to them and what they're willing to compromise on. In all marriages/relationships, it's about what works for the individual couple and these things need to be discussed early on. She shouldn't have 'assumed' anything, especially if she claims it's important enough to her to call off her wedding

I have several friends/family members who absolutely wouldn't marry interfaith, who wouldn't marry someone financially insecure, etc. None of those things would bother me personally. But a bachelor party with strippers would make the damage irreparable for me.

I have to say that this is a tough situation that they are both in. One aspect it is his last 'hoora' so to speak with the boys as a bachelor. But he still should be a little understanding of her feelings since they did decide to do it together.
At the same, FH goes to the strip club with the boys and sometimes I go with him. I dont care, whatever! But that is me, if its b/c she is worried about what 'might' happen then thats an issue that they need to deal with as a couple NOW! If its only b/c they were going to do it together-they both need to compromise on it!