HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Original post by njordan414

Apr 23, 2006 05:32 PM

I'm in a wedding party,,,and I am trying soooo hard to be there for my friend who is getting married,,,but now its a little out of control. Her and her fiance live together and have a 3 year old son. When they first got engaged,,my friend was under the assumption that they would have a combined bachelor/bachelorette party. So now the best man went ahead and planned a bachelor party to Scores(the strip club in manhattan),,and my friend is ready to call off the wedding because shes not comfortable with this. Her finace is all for it and thinks that she is being insecure. So her bridal party has planned to go out the same night and then meet up with the guys at a club later on. Personally, I have been to Scores and dont think that it is a big deal,, its not grimy there at all. All of her other bridesmaids are telling her to call of the wedding bc they think he is being selfish and inconsiderate of her feelings. I just would love to see others peoples opinions on whether or not you would call of the entire wedding bc of a bachelor party......I'm really confused and dont know how else to help her with this drama!!!

regi Posted: Apr 23, 2006 07:52 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Posted by DjPiLL

I think *HE* should call off the wedding because this woman is just a nutcase.

Call off a wedding because of a bachelor party? Give me a break. Talk about being ultra insecure. And they have to 'meet up with the guys' afterwards?

Where is the ball and chain when I need it.

right on target.

regi Posted: Apr 23, 2006 07:53 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Honestly, is this a joke????

sarahthegreat Posted: Apr 23, 2006 07:56 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

and it seems like she may already have her mind made up and was just looking for an excuse to call off the wedding.

and thats sad

chloeme2 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 07:58 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Posted by njordan414

No,,,its not harsh at all!!! I think that you are absolutely right!! I am the only one in her wedding party that feels that there is nothing wrong with the whole stripper thing! One of her best friends told her just last night that she should call the whole thing off!!! Now why would you say that!!! The bride should be excited about her wedding and should have the support of her friends. I feel really terrible for her!!

I think that it's ridiculous to call off a wedding b/c of a bachelor party. What does that say about 'till death do us part?' That's more like 'till You piss me off part'. They don't sound like very good friends telling her to throw her future with the father of her chid away b/c of a strip club. JMO.

superkat Posted: Apr 23, 2006 08:14 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

If your friends relationship is so fragile that an argument about a bachelor party is reason to breakup, then they need to step back and evaluate. A BC party is a PARTY for ONE day. It is NOT a reason for a relationship to falter. Maybe your friends need to talk to a couple therapist. There are a lot of obstacles in life and you need to be able to communicate with each other as partners, not as enemies where the answer is 'let's break up'. Good luck to your friends.

Boston&NY2006 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 08:23 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Posted by regi

Posted by DjPiLL

I think *HE* should call off the wedding because this woman is just a nutcase.

Call off a wedding because of a bachelor party? Give me a break. Talk about being ultra insecure. And they have to 'meet up with the guys' afterwards?

Where is the ball and chain when I need it.

right on target.

Seriously!!! If I suggested a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, I think my FH would run for the hills!! (And he'd be completely right to do so!) Who wants to marry someone that clingy??

njordan414 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 08:23 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

I know that it is rediculous that she feels that way,,but at the same time it was agreed upon that they would do a joint thing bc he knows hows she is!! He took the opportunity when given to him for the bachelor party strip club thing,,,bc honestly with a 3 year old son,,they never get out of the house. I have explained to her that she needs to think of it as a fun night out with friends that they never get the opportunity for bc of the baby. Ive told her that Ive been there and its no big deal,,and that helped to calm her down and she seems a little better about the whole situation. But now she is hearing it from her other friends,,about how he is being sooo inconsiderate about her feelings,,,and that the rest of her life will be like this and blah,blah,blah. I feel that he is so persistant about not giving up his night out bc #1 he shouldnt have to and #2 he wants and needs a fun night out with his friends! I love her to death and she is the sweetest person in the world,,,she just needs to have people boost her confidence ,,not bring it down!!!

bride2b24 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 08:25 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

i def dont think thats worth calling off the wedding! theres so much worse things in life that they will have to deal with than that!

june262004 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 08:27 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Your friend is being silly. If she can't TRUST him then they shouldn't be getting married!

njordan414 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 08:31 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

I think its more of the fact that she was crying over it for 4 days,,,and that after seeing how upset she was,,he still didnt back down from the party!! Its crazy I know,,and thanks for listening to me get this off my chest!!!!!!

ellebelle1 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 09:14 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Ok, I'm the biggest supporter of men NOT doing the strip club thing, but calling off the wedding is extreme. It sounds like the two of them both have issues to deal with before getting married. First, the FH needs to grow up because if his FW is that upset and he doesn't care, that's not very nice. Second, the girl should not be threatening to call of the wedding because of this. Why would he want to marry someone threatening him like this. They need to find a compromise and resolve this.

VadersBride2006 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 10:24 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Sounds to me like she should be doing a little less listening to her 'friends' and more listening to her FH!

JohnnysGirl350 Posted: Apr 23, 2006 10:29 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Personally, I don't think this would be a reason to call off the wedding...JMO

BKtoLI Posted: Apr 24, 2006 01:12 AM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Oh geez.....I know she is freaking out over it, but tell her to grow up!!! Maybe you guys should take her to Scores to see what it's really about!! I think that would make her feel better!!!

Oh, and if this helps, let her know that on Friday for my Bachelorette party, my male friends took me to A STRIP CLUB!!! And yes there were naked women, and I was not in the least bit offended or stressed!!! And I even told FH about it, and he was not phased at all!!

It's about trust....and if she doesn't trust him then she should not be marrying him.

DjPiLL Posted: Apr 24, 2006 11:29 AM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

There is nothing wrong with still doing some sort of a joint bachelor/bachelorette party so the bride will still get her wish.

But don't expect the best man to cancel his plans to take his best friend out for a night with the guys on some other date.

Scores really isn't that big of a deal. Its very clean cut and you really can't do anything there that would get you 'in trouble'.

The biggest problem with scores is the $$$$$$. Its very expensive. But then again... the groom shouldn't be paying so its all good.

Hell... I spend a weekend in Vegas with my guys. But since one of my groomsmen didn't go to Vegas because of an overbearing wife.... I also went out to the Hustler Strip Club in NYC a week after.

TWO bachelor parties for me. If I was marrying this bride in question... she probably would have had an aneurysm.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Apr 24, 2006 11:47 AM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Cancel because he's going to Scores? She can just go to Hunk-o-mania.
Why cancel a wedding over a bachelor party that hasn't even happened?

suzybilly819 Posted: Apr 24, 2006 11:49 AM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

That is ridiculous to call a wedding off over a trip to a strip club. JMO. Why doesn't the Bp go to a male revue and call it even.

Good luck trying to talk sense to illogical people.

JandJ1224 Posted: Apr 24, 2006 11:56 AM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Well I am clearly in the minority here but, if her FH is willing to so easily disregard her feelings on such a big issue(as she sees it) what about future issues that should arise. I don't know that I would call off the wedding but I think they need to have a serious talk about this.

SeptBride70 Posted: Apr 24, 2006 12:17 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Posted by prncssrachel

I don't think anyone should be getting married if they cannot even effectively communicate over a bachelor party.

yes i agree with this part. something's wrong if a. she cannot just talk to FH about it and they can come to a COMPROMISE. b. something is really wrong if FH is just tossing your friend's feelings away like they are nothing. c. HUGE problem if she is considering calling off the wedding at all, for whatever reason, that's a BIG deal!!

so they need to have a serious talk about this, whether what she is upset about is dumb or not, how can you consider not marrying him?? if she is (and has doubts) she needs to really second guess her decision to marry him!

wow!

SeptBride70 Posted: Apr 24, 2006 12:19 PM

Re: HELPHELPHELP!!! Bachelor party drama!

Posted by JandJ1224

Well I am clearly in the minority here but, if her FH is willing to so easily disregard her feelings on such a big issue(as she sees it) what about future issues that should arise. I don't know that I would call off the wedding but I think they need to have a serious talk about this.

yep, didn't see this when i first posted-- i agree with this also. whether this girl is upset about a popsicle stick or a HUGE issue it doesn't matter-- how he is dealing with this is not cool. what if down the line something REALLY big comes along?? i mean, she shouldn't call off the wedding but the fact that she is thinking about it is pretty crazy and leads me to believe there are more doubts underneath-- either way, they need to have a major pow-wow! good luck to her!

ETA: i see a lot of you posting that it's wrong for her to call off the wedding over a bachelor party and i think you are all right-- that is extreme BUT my point is, i'm sure i made it clear but just incase!!, i think there is an underlying deeper issue here... i don't think anyone would get that upset about just a bachelor party (at least i hope not lol) but there MUST be something else going on here and she's using this as her outlet instead of saying her true feelings. hmm, i hope everything works out-- i feel bad for them both that they are not communicating effectively.