Homeowner first?

christy Posted: Jan 20, 2004 05:40 PM

Homeowner first?

I was just curious how many of you waited until you owned a house before you had (or considered having) children?

In my mind I cant consider having a baby in my little condo. But I was wondering if everyone else feels they need a house first before having a baby?

Dee7772 Posted: Jan 20, 2004 06:01 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

Right now my hubby and I are rentingan apartment and are looking for a house, but at the moment we are TTC and if we have to live in an apartment for a while it doesn't really matter to us.

jlf41 Posted: Jan 20, 2004 06:13 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

Just to play devil's advocate...what is it about a house that will make you a better parent? Don't take that the wrong way, but if you think about it that way, it seems kind of silly to think that you NEED to have a house to be a parent. It may be easier to save for a home if you don't have a child yet, that is for sure! And you probably would also have much more space to store all the stuff that comes along with having a baby. (My poor parents have a house full of our little guy's baby stuff that we just can't fit in our apt.)

alina Posted: Jan 20, 2004 06:19 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

Posted by jlf41

Just to play devil's advocate...what is it about a house that will make you a better parent?

Storage space!!! I think baby stuff requires some 'stocking up', on diapers, and other things, and if all your stuff barely fits into the current apt., then either a larger place or a house is a must.

jennbaby Posted: Jan 20, 2004 06:46 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

I do not have a house and am not sure when I will and this will not stop me any!
I dont think a house should be the deciding factor for TTC.
Love and wanting a child is.

So many people do not own homes and have children and are perfectly fine.

There will never be a perfect time to have children, just do it when you are ready, you will make it work!

chmlengr Posted: Jan 20, 2004 06:57 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

I guess we are lucky in a sense that we had our house even before we were engaged. But I agree with the other ladies in that having or not having a house should not make your decision about having kids. As long as you make your living place a loving home for your child, it shouldn't matter if it's an apartment, house, trailer, coop, condo, etc... Good Luck!

MrsTC Posted: Jan 20, 2004 07:04 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

I have been wondering about this subject question myself lately...for financial reasons, I keep thinking we should buy a house before we TTC....but....on the other hand that may not be for a while and we want to TTC within a year or 2....

jillybean66 Posted: Jan 20, 2004 07:29 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

DH and I always planned on buying a house before TTC, but sometimes it just does not work out that way! The main reason we wanted a house was for a yard....we live in a 2 bdroom in Brooklyn right now. But we finally realized that we were not willing to wait until that happened, and now I am happy with our decision!

christy Posted: Jan 20, 2004 07:31 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

I would not be able to have a baby in this condo. It is too small. We have a second bedroom, but it is so tiny we use it as an office.

My other reason is that I never really lived in house. My parents raised 3 of us in an apartment. (It was fine, really it was). But since childhood it has been a dream of mine to own a house. I can see having a baby in an apartment for the first few years. But then I think it would be too tight.

Also, the financial thing concerns me. I feel that if I have a baby before a house I may not be able to save up for one.

I am not judging, I think having babies (without a house) is fine. I just was curious how others felt.

Sage10.03 Posted: Jan 20, 2004 09:21 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

I do not have a child, nor am I TTC yet....but, I hope to have a house first and so does my DH. It's not a requirement, and if it were to happen sooner, so be it, but I do want to have a house first. We really don't want to TTC until we have one.
But that's just us and the way we feel and what's comfortable for us....Not to mention that we aren't considering TTC for another couple of years and plan to buy this year or next, so it seems easy for me to say that....

(sorry for rambling....I have just thought a lot about this topic lately.....)

Kaycee0921 Posted: Jan 20, 2004 09:28 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

You have to do what's right for you. Although babies need alot of 'stuff', in the beginning all they need is a place to sleep and eat and be comforted (and that's pretty much in your and DH's arms! .

We too, only had a 1 bedroom condo. When we started TTC, we figured we'd make do for a year or two, then trade up to a home. Well, 9 weeks into the pregnancy, we found out it was twins! We went into mad house hunting mode! We lived with 2 babies in the condo for about a month (1 crib, 1 bassinet, and a dresser/changing table). We survived. I actually found it kind of cozy!

Lisalou Posted: Jan 21, 2004 09:48 AM

Re: Homeowner first?

My Husband and I have had our house for 2.5 years now (expecting the end of April). We were fortunate to get the house a week before our wedding. However, if we still lived in NY we may not be in a house or having this baby. We moved to GA. 4 years ago and in my eyes was the only way to get the house of our dreams at such a yound age. For us personally it was a finacial issue, we wanted to have everything we've always wanted before a child, knowing that it would take us forever to get those things after the baby is born. So we went forward and bought a house and all our fun toys & gadgets. This doesn't mean you HAVE to have a house before TTC or having a baby. My best friend lived in a 2 bedroom apartment for 3 years with her son and husband. It worked for them but one year into having the baby it was getting on their nerves. They just bought their first home. Make the decision that is right for you both and think about the future not the current moment. IMO

NuBride Posted: Jan 21, 2004 11:16 AM

Re: Homeowner first?

OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE...

How many times have I posted this.....Me, hubby and darling little 6 month old Mia live in a studio, ONE ROOM apartment!!! we are fine, yes it is filled with baby stuff and she HAS taken over..but I agree having a house or an apartment does not make you a better parent.

Here's the KICKER...WE OWN a HOUSE that's right a 3 bedroom ranch in North Bellmore that we never moved into because we want a 'nicer' house and we are selling this one. That's the sacrifice we made and it is working out fine. I'll check back when she starts walking and we're still in the studio!

bearsbabe_113 Posted: Jan 21, 2004 11:52 AM

Re: Homeowner first?

We do not own our own house now, and I have no clue when we will, nor do I care personally. We live in an apt in a 2 family house owned by his grandmother. We only have one big HUGE bedroom, which used to be 2 very small rooms, and it's working fine for us. I also grew up in an apt and lived there my whole life until I got married.

Yes, I would LOVE more space, especially closet space, and yes Gianna has taken over the house w/her stuff, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

IMO, if you spend your life waiting for the perfect moment to do anything, you'll never do it!!! You'd be surprised how you can make do with what you have!!!

Good luck!!!

NuBride Posted: Jan 21, 2004 11:57 AM

Re: Homeowner first?

DITTO, Deb!!!
I guess you read my post as well...!
How's bear cub?? How's her ears??

bearsbabe_113 Posted: Jan 21, 2004 12:00 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

Camille, you have FM!!!

Sassy Posted: Jan 21, 2004 12:02 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

Posted by jennbaby

I do not have a house and am not sure when I will and this will not stop me any!
I dont think a house should be the deciding factor for TTC.
Love and wanting a child is.

So many people do not own homes and have children and are perfectly fine.

There will never be a perfect time to have children, just do it when you are ready, you will make it work!

Perfectly said Jenn

dawnie Posted: Jan 21, 2004 12:14 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

We are actually moving into my mother's basement apartment since my stepfather has been diagnosed with cancer. My mom doesn't drive and I want to make sure they are both OK. They are charging us such little rent that hopefully we will be able to save for a house. They said that we should have kids while we are still living there. My mom will watch our kids while we go to work. She is the best alernative to me being a stay at home mom since that is not financially possible.
I would love to have a house now..but I think it is whenever we are ready. My husband wants to wait until we have a house and I would love to start soon.
I guess we will eventually come to some kind of compromise.
I think their is nothing wrong with having a baby in an apartment. My mom didn't have a house until I was in college and I think my sister and I turned out OK!

ILT1221 Posted: Jan 21, 2004 12:36 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

Owning a home first is definitely not a requirement. I think it does help though. I got pregnant 2 months after we bought the house. Our family teases us that 'we work quick' but it just happened that way. Having the extra room is a tremendous help now since we lived in a 1 bedroom before.

As long as your child has happy parents they don't care where they live (at least until they're in school anyway). Until then enjoy what you have and save up if you can.

Teri Posted: Jan 21, 2004 12:52 PM

Re: Homeowner first?

Ideally we would have wanted a house first, but we got pregnant before that! So now we're in the process of house hunting - it actually works out since we would have wanted to buy this Spring anyway, and we weren't locked in with a house before our priorities changed a bit....(i.e., better school district, safe backyard for playing, etc)